HeadCase
by Skydv8501
Summary: Jane is injured on a call, when she wakes up her entire life is changed including being divorced from Maura. She was always a respected and decorated detective, but now shes hated by almost everyone. Follow and find out the answers along with Jane. Rated M
1. Chapter 1

I claim no ownership of these characters, or john Lennon quote. I do however claim ownership of this plot line.

I am new to the fanfiction world please excuse any faux pas i may make.  
>The story is slightly AU in that i am not sticking to the exact history of these characters.<p>

Chapter 1

The more I see, the less I know for sure.

Stop and look around you,hear the sounds, take in the smell.  
>Now ask yourself are they real. Why do you say yes, because your mind says so. Perception is defined as the act of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind. So what if what you see, feel,<br>and hear are a complex deception made up by your mind, are these things still real?

"Morning Jane" Korsak greeted his former partner noting there was no response indicating it wasnt that good of a morning for the detective.

"Frankie where are we with the location of O'Malley's warehouse"

Uh good morning to you too" Frankie had been working tiredly on the O'Malley case they all had. Everyone knew how much was riding on this case. If the team didn't find Shane O'Malley soon Doyle's men would burn down the city to get to him.

"Sorry guys its been a rough few weeks for all of us, I'm..I'm just frustrated."

"We all are Janie, but we have to stay positive. We'll find him."

Korsak looked on intrigued by the situation there were only two people in this world who could calm jane down with a look and a few words.  
>Her brother Frankie and Maura. He was always astonished to see the big bad Jane Rizzoli taken down a few pegs by the M.E. he knew why of course he just wished they would figure it out soon.<p>

"I GOT IT" yelled Frankie. "I found the warehouse"

"Korsak can you get a warrant"

"Sure Jane, but we better head out there while i try, don't want him getting tipped off"

"Good thinking, Frankie send the address to my phone"

"Already done. lets go"

The ride to the warehouse was quiet each considering the consequences of not getting O'Malley, also the danger in getting him. Shane O'Malley killed a made man in Paddy Doyle's Gang in an effort to impress the Finn's an opposing sec of the Irish mafia. This had the opposite effect,  
>a bounty was placed on his head to make amends by the Finn's. Paddy men gave them forty eight hours to bring him in our they would handle it and handle them as well for the great offense committed by one of their's. Shane managed to elude them all causing chaos in Boston. BPD made it their number one priority to find Shane and put an end to fighting.<p>

"Were do we have an eta on SWAT and the warrant"

"Fifteen minutes on SWAT, and I just got the warrant from judge Bragdon"

"OK well we can't wait for SWAT, we gotta move know. Stay together"

Jane, Korsak, And Frankie moved towards the warehouse it was rundown.  
>Glass broken all over the ground, signs of squatters, and rusting metal.<br>The team moved quietly through the warehouse, knowing that Shane or anyone else could be aware of their presence. They came up on an area where there was two large rooms one to the right and one to the left as well as stairs leading up to a catwalk that exited into another room. Jane signaled for Korsak To go to the right, Frankie to the left, and she would take the stairs.

As Jane began her accent she noticed how the stairs moved slightly under her feet. She moved slowly but methodically. This was the part of the job she loved the rush of emotions that came with the apprehension of suspects. Fear racing the excitement, an adrenaline surge out weighing caution, and the steady drumming of her heartbeat leading her on like a warriors chant.

Jane saw a shadow moving just beyond the entrance to the room,"guys I got movement up here" Jane whispered in her radio. As she began to turn and inspect the rest of the room she heard the steps of another just moments before she was knocked off her feet. She struggled with Shane trying to gain the upper hand. Her gun was no longer in sight the room was only dimly light by her flashlight on the ground, making finding it

impossible. Jane managed to get her leg in between her and Shane pushing up knocking him on the ground. Shane bolted for the catwalk trying to escape. Jane tackled him and in doing so she could feel the catwalk sway underneath them. Just as Frankie came into view at the top of the stairs Jane felt the unmistakable feeling of falling.

The catwalk went through the roof of one of the lower rooms landing Jane on top of debris and Shane. Jane made a feeble attempt to get up but the room began to spin and her legs gave out she could just make out Korsak and Frankie's voice before everything went black.

Beep...Beep... Jane slowly began to open her eyes letting out a groan in the process "uhhh wh..where am I" Jane tried to move her head to get a better look but was immediately stopped by a pain in her neck. " what the fuck"Jane groaned out. Just as she was about to hit the call button she heard the door to her room opening.

"Hi Detective Rizzoli my name is doctor Pen, yes before you ask like the writing instrument." the doctor gave a slight chuckle. At seeing that his patient was not in a laughing mood the doctor cleared his throat and started again." yes well as I said I'm doctor Pen. You were in a serious accident at work, do you remember?"

"Yes I was in a struggle with a suspect when the catwalk we were on fell"

"That's good that your memory is intact, you have quite the concussion."

" Do I have any other injuries?"

"Actually you were quite lucky the other patients body softened the blow for you, besides the concussion just a bunch of bumps and bruises or B.B's as I like to call them" again the doctor began to chuckle "

Jane rolled her eyes "Cute, but how bout you tell me when I can get out of here"

"Well you should stay overnight than if your vitals are still stable you can go home tomorrow morning. So for now is there anything I can get for you?"

"no...no thanks can you just send my family in" Jane noticed the doctor looking at her with pity in his eyes.

The doctor looked down and began to fiddle with the chart in his hands "uh according to the chart there is no one waiting to see you." he offered a smile than told Jane he would check on her in the morning.

"What the fuck is going on, where is everyone." Jane grabbed the phone to call her ma just as panic was starting to set in Angela picked up.

"Hello" "Ma where are you why aren't you here at the hospital, I mean I know this is getting to be a habit of mine these hospital visits but its not like you to not be here"

"Wow you must of really hit your head hard if your calling me, come on Jane what did you expect. You would just go off on your own again get hurt and I would come running to be by your side just like that after what you've done."

" Ma what..what are you talking about what did I do. I don't understand" Jane could feel the tears starting to run down her cheeks.

"Jane I have to go the kids need me, get some rest Janie you sound like you need it" Angela hung up without waiting for a response. Jane was utterly confused and scared maybe her concussion was worse than the doctors thought. Never in her life has her ma not been by her side when she was sick or hurt. She sounded so angry and there was so little resemblance of the mother she knew. Jane could feel herself begin hyperventilating. the monitor's alarms began to go off. Nurses and doctors rushed in, she felt as though she was in a tunnel and it was closing in all around her the voices began to become more distant till once again it all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N First thank you to all for reading and following my little story here. I will update every Sun and sometimes on fri. Please Leave a comment  
>I would love the feedback. Again I dont own the characters just the plot, hope you enjoy!<strong>

**Chapter 2**

"Jane can you hear me, jane open your eyes."

Jane couldn't make out who was calling her name, the voice sounded as if it was being spoken underwater. There was a bright light shining in her eyes as well making it impossible to see the persons face. Soon the voice began to get clearer and the light went away proving to her what she feared most, she was still in the hospital and the conversation she had with her mother was not a dream more like a nightmare.

"hmm...what time is it?"  
>Jane asked groggy<p>

"It's five A.M. You had what appeared to be a panic attack causing you to pass out,  
>do you remember?" asked Dr. Pen<p>

Jane cleared her throat, "I was having a conversation with my mother"

" Ah I too have an over bearing mother, but I have always been jealous of the bond mothers and daughters have its its so... complex very interesting stuff.  
>Did you know that researchers have found that despite conflicts and complicated emotions, the mother daughter bond is so strong that 80 to 90 percent of women at midlife report good relationships with their mothers."<br>Oh my god really is this happening right now, Jane thought while Dr. Pen was going on. Jane began to clear her throat and fidget in her bed trying to hold on to what little patience she had at the moment.

"So mothers still mother and daughters still seek mom's approval late in life"  
>Dr. Pen stood with a satisfied look on his face as if he just completely enlightened someone who was other wise oblivious and who wanted his insight. Little did he know that he was talking to the least interested person he will ever meet. in fact the only time Jane ever listened to someone spitting out facts at random when she could care less was Maura and that was only because Jane had a special bond with her, one that neither could explain, or wanted to anyway.<p>

"Uhh That was very informative but how about we skip my personal life for now and move on to my physical well being seeing as you are a doctor and not a sociologist ok." Jane knew she was harsh with him but she was scared, confused, and, tired. She just wanted to get out of there and get some answers.

"I'd like to be released doc"

"I'm sorry Jane but we need to keep you another night for observation you"

Jane cut the doctor off " No No that's not gonna work for me i need to leave now and unless you have some legit reason to hold me here against my will I'm leaving"

A stare down issued Jane had to give the doctor credit for someone who seemed quite passive he had the guilt stare down down pact. but as good as he was she would always be more stubborn and win every time. The doctor finally relented but not before giving some big speech about how the risks of leaving AMA where all on her and that in no way was the hospital responsible for anything that may happen to her or someone else as result of her leaving. He had hoped it would scare her into staying but again stubborn beats guilt and scare tactics every time.

Jane had gotten dressed and had a visit from her nurses to discontinue her I.V and still no word on the doc with the discharge papers. Jane began to get anxious as she got up and headed to the door to see what was taking so long the doctor walked in. " Hey doc did you think if you stalled long enough I'd pass out again and have to stay"

"Jane, I'm sorry to say that we called every number we have on file for you and no one will come for you. I'm sorry" The doctor truly looked sorry she could tell he took no pleasure in this fact.

"wh..what do you mean NO one, not one person, Maura, Frankie, Ma, not even Tommy."

The doctor began to look thru his papers " I'm sorry Jane, I don't see a Tommy here, would you like to give me his number and ill call"

"no no that's fine ill just call my partner at work he'll come for me"

"Ok let me know when you arrange something and I'll have a nurse bring in your discharge papers, Jane I'm going to give you a prescription for pain medicine please take it you are making the horrible decision to leave here please don't decide to let your body ride out the pain. being in the kind of pain you will be in can do more harm than good in a lot of ways."

The doctor walked out leaving a very confused and hurt Jane behind. How could no one want to come get her what did she do that was so wrong to make them all treat her so badly. Before she could find out first she had to get out of the hospital and that would require a ride. Jane tried calling Korsak, it rang for what seemed like forever.  
>she contemplate letting it ring longer but decided against it, instead calling a taxi.<br>when the nurse came in with her discharge papers and prescription Jane felt both elated to be going home and terrified to find out the answers to the many questions she had.

Jane was wheeled outside to her waiting taxi. " Where to."

Jane gave the driver her address than sat back with a loud sigh. " Rough night lady?"  
>Jane turned her head to look out the window contemplating what answer to give she could go her usual sarcastic route but if she was completely honest she had no idea how to answer that. What do you say to a complete stranger who asks how the most confusing, fearful night of your life went. Jane turned her head looking at the drivers reflection in the rear view mirror.<p>

"The worst so far."

"No offense but it shows, you look like you could use a few days sleep."

"Gee thanks,how bout you just drive." Jane looked back out the window hoping to god all she needed to resolve this god awful feeling in the pit of her stomach was some sleep. Truth was though that she knew something was amiss, not even after she broke her great aunt's antique serving dish at her cousins communion dinner did she hear her mother talk to her with such disdain. All Jane wanted was answers but she was also afraid of what those answers might be. Had her mother some how found out about her attraction for women, that would explain her tone. Jane had always feared this type of reaction if she where to find out, religious beliefs out weigh motherly love yet again. That didn't explain everyone else"s behavior, when had they ever not only refused to come get her but also check on her at the hospital. Nothing made sense nothing, she had to find answers and quick.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N SORRY for the delay i wanted to post two chapters this time. I knew if i left you with another cliffhanger you would all revolt :) I'm gonna try to post two chapters at a time, hopefully making the story flow better. Once again please leave a comment I have only written one story before, so any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 3**

Jane was awaken by the blaring sound of her alarm clock, "fuck off" she growled while slamming her hand on the clock trying in vain to shut it off. After five too many attempts she finally got it to shut off. Just being off wasn't good enough though she bolted upright and threw the alarm clock across the room, hitting her bedroom wall and breaking in two. Jane lay in her bed breathing hard wondering where that aggression came from. Yeah she's not a morning person, but she's never been that mad but for some reason when the alarm wouldn't shut off she was filled with an unwarranted amount of anger.

Sitting up so quickly brought on more nausea from her splitting headache. The doctor had warned her about the pain but she never could have imagined this level of pain. Jane had every intention of heading straight to her mothers after a quick shower but while in the bathroom she couldn't get the room to stop spinning than the nausea and severe head pain came on. She barely made it to her bedroom before she fell down on the bed and passed out.

Jane woke late afternoon, she was in the worst pain she had ever experienced. Worse than her self-inflicted gunshot wound, but she never filled the prescription for pain medicine so there was nothing to help take the pain away. Usually she would be o.k with that but Right now though she desperately needed something. Jane decided to call Maura for help

Jane dialed Maura's number, after the fourth ring it picked up.

"Hey Maur I... " Jane stated right after what she thought was Maura answering her phone but it was just her voice mail.

" I'm not available at the moment please leave a detailed message and your number and I will return your message as soon as possible thank you and have a nice day." Beep...

" Jeez Maur where are you? The hospital said you wouldn't come get me and now you won't answer my call! I'm really freaking out here, I don't know what I did but it seems everyone could care less about me. Look please just call me back, please I really need to talk to yo.." The voice mail cut her off

" Fuck" Jane was beginning to feel as though she was going to pass out or vomit or both but she knew she had to get in touch with someone so that she could get her meds. The pain was so bad that they were the only thing that mattered, she decided to try Korsak again.

" Hello"

" Korsak,thank God it's Jane" she let out a huge sigh thankful that she had gotten through to him.

" Jane how are you? I went by the hospital this morning and they said you just left, AMA too. You sure that was wise considering how bad a spill you took?"

" I had to get out of there Korsak, I had to see my mother and get some answers. Listen I really need a favor right now"

" Sure Janie, what is it?"

Jane started to tear up at hearing a familiar voice and having him seem to want to talk to her unlike everyone else in her life right now. She explained to him how she had a concussion and needed pain pills. He agreed to come get the prescription and fill it for her. Jane told him she would leave the prescription in an envelope taped to her door and that she needed it right away.

Forty minutes later Korsak was back at Jane's. She opened the door and just held her hand out for the medicine. Korsak handed the pill bottle to her frowning at the unusual state his old partner was in.

" Jane, you sure your ok."

" Shhhh talk quieter" Jane said as she fumbled to get the bottle of pills open. She poured a couple into her hand and swallowed them quickly, a small smile appeared on her face knowing that soon relief was to come. Korsak stood in Jane's kitchen staring at the disheveled woman in front if him. Jane had a Red Sox t-shirt on, patriots shorts and two different socks. Plus sunglasses and hair that was only three parts in a full pony tail.

" So Jane why'd you leave the hospital cause where I'm standing you should still be there."

" Korsak I really would love to talk to you I would, in fact I need to talk to you but would you mind waiting here while I lay down and as soon as the pills kick in we can talk"

" Sure Jane sure ill be right here when you wake up"

Jane could feel the heat of the sun on her face, she opened one eye wanting to see if she was still sensitive to light. Thankfully she was not, slowly she sat up  
>noting that her head didn't hurt as much and the nausea was gone as well. Smiling to her self she began to stretch, stoping immediately as pain shot through her back. She forgot the part of the doctors speech about feeling sore in new places as the days go on. Jane groaned as she swung her legs off the bed, sitting on the edge of the bed. She slowly moved different parts of her body trying to assess the damage, noting that besides the soreness in her back and neck she was no worse for the wear. Jane looked to her alarm clock to check the time but was immediately struck with the memory of her anger this morning.<br>Jane grabbed a couple more pills from the medicine bottle and washed them down with water. She was thankful that Korsak left them there for her knowing she would be in need of them. While Jane began to walk into her kitchen she was hit with a wonderful smell, a smell that made her stomach growl and mouth water. As she rounded the corner she saw Korsak standing by the stove stirring a pot of what she could only assume was soup.

"Good evening Jane" Korsak said with a chuckle not even turning away from the pot he was stirring.

"What time is it? I feel like I have been asleep for days."

Korsak turned frowning at the appearance of the woman in front of him. She was pale, bruised, and looked to be scared. Of what he wasn't sure but figured it had something to do with the fact that her actions have led to her now being alone. He made a promise to her long ago that he would never abandon her no matter what she did or said. So here he was standing in Jane's kitchen making the woman something to eat after he sat by her bedside making sure she was o.k. When Korsak arrived on the scene he was sure they were going to tell him Jane was dead. He wasn't all that surprised though when he heard she was alive, only Jane could fall 30 feet through a roof and walk away. As mad as he was for her insubordination his fear for her safety came first, which is why he was standing in her kitchen playing nurse.

"It's seven-thirty, I made soup are you hungry?"

"I am actually, thanks I really appreciate everything you have done for me so far Korsak."

"No problem Jane, here sit let me get you a bowl of soup and we can talk"

"I'd really like that, thanks"

Korsak served Jane a bowl of soup and crackers. After she finished eating he sat next to her letting out a big sigh. "Jane what were you thinking going to that warehouse all alone even after i specifically said not too."

Jane's moth dropped open and her brows creased, why was this happening no one was making any sense. It's as if she woke up in a parallel universe. Jane began to feel nausea again and all she wanted was this nightmare to be over.

"Korsak what are you talking about you and Frankie were with me, you got the warrant."

"Jane Frankie and I were back at the precinct when we got word of what you did. Plus i havent been in the field in years not since I got promoted to Captain you know that"

Jane stood from her chair and began to pace back and forth running her hands through her unruly locks. " Korsak your not making any sense your not our captain you're not, and you were there YOU WERE THERE" Jane yelled pointing at Korsak.

"Jane calm down please, I think we need to call the doctor."

"I don't need a doctor Korsak I need to know why everyone around me is different. My ma treated me like shit when i called her from the hospital, Maura wont answer my calls, and now you. What the Fuck is going on!"

"Jane there's no way Maura is going to answer your calls, I mean you haven't been on the best terms since your divorce."

Jane's face went pale and her legs began to give out on her, korsak grabbed her and guided her down to the couch. Jane just stared blankly out the can't be she thought Maura and I we..we married I no no this cant be. Jane turned and looked at Korsak as if she had just said that all out loud. "Jane I really think you need to see the doctor something is not right." 

"Yeah...we...I need to go I need to see the doctor. Korsak will you come with me"

"Of course Kiddo, of course."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Jane waited (some what patiently considering the circumstances) for the doctor. korsak stepped out a while ago stating he need to call the station. just as jane was about to hit the call button the door opened and a man walked in.

"Hi Jane I'm Dr. Sebastian a neurologist that Dr. Penn asked to consult on your case. i can see from your chart that you had a pretty severe concussion a couple days ago and you left the hospital AMA does that sound right?"

"Yeah that sounds right it's everything else that's wrong."

" Yes Dr. Penn told me that you were having some memory problems."

" Memory problems.. no this is more than memory problems doc. It's as if I've been transported to another dimension, my life is not my own anymore. Nothing is the same..nothing is"  
>Jane began to cry she wrapped her arms around herself trying to find comfort somewhere she had never felt this lost before.<p>

"It's going to be Ok Jane I will find out whats going on with you I promise."  
>The doctor looked to see if Jane would acknowledge his statement and she did she gave him a slight head nod than laid down on her side pulling her legs up to her. As the doctor left Korsak entered the room<p>

"Jane are you alright?...what happened?... was that the doctor?...Jane talk to me please."

" That was the doctor, he said there gonna try to help." Jane continued to lay on her side not making eye contact with Korsak. She continued to cry.

Korsak pulled a chair up to Janes bed and just sat quietly while jane cried herself to sleep he wanted her to know that she had someone there for her that wasnt going to leave she had enough people who walked away in her life granted she deserved it most times but he knew the other side of jane the side that was rarely shown to anyone anymore. he has always viewed jane as a daughter and like any good father he was not going to abandon her when she needed him the most no matter what.

Some time later Jane woke up she laid there for a while just staring at the ceiling thinking that maybe it was all a really really bad nightmare. Frankie, Ma and every one else was going to walk into the door any minute. She began to rub her eyes when she hears the door open and the sound she has heard a million times before but this time it sounds like heaven to her. Heels walking towards her, she lowered her hands and turned her head towards the door eyeing her best friend and just the person she's been wanting to see the most.

"Maura thank god your here I had the nastiest nightmare, I was hurt on a call and when I woke everything was different. Not just a little either like very different we were even married."

"We aren't married Jane"

"Thank Go.."

"Not anymore that is"

"Wait what...did you just say...that we...you and me.."

"Hm well they told me your memory was gone but I didn't really believe them"

"No Maura this has nothing to do with my memory this has everything to do with reality! We... were never married we're best friends your with Ian I'm with Casey. Maura please"

Maura had tears falling down her cheeks. It broke her heart to hear this woman who she had cared for so much deny one of the most important events in her life their marriage a bond she thought would be forever. It also infuriated her to hear Jane talk as if their bond as flawed as it had become was non existent. How dare she drive another stake in her heart what game was she playing at.

" Jane, I'm only here because Korsak begged me and I wanted to see if what he said was true. But other than that I'd rather have nothing to do with you."

Jane looked as if Maura's words had just slapped her across the face. New tears began to form, she sat completely still for just a second not sure what to say in response to the spiteful words Maura had just spoken. Jane decided she needed to be the same height as Maura so to speak when having this conversation. She needed to know why or what went so horribly wrong in their relationship that Maura could talk to her with such disdain. As Jane was trying to stand her step faltered and she almost fell to the ground but Maura out of instinct grabbed under her arms and held her up. as Jane looked into Maura's eyes she was instantly hit with what could only be described as a flashback.

_"Maura all I'm saying is black is black you don't need ten shoes in black it's not gonna look any different." Jane closed the door to their home after Maura made sure to glare at Jane as she walked by._

_"Jane it most definitely matters you have your sling-backs, slipons, peep-toe, and don't forget about your personal favorite the stiletto." Maura said the last part in a very seductive voice. She knew Jane loved Maura's legs, she always paid special attention to them anytime they were intimate._

_Jane walked over to Maura wrapping her arms around her. " Hmmm I sure do They have helped tone the sexiest legs I've ever seen."She slowly lowered her head to Maura's ear gently running her tongue around her ear lobe. " There even sexier when there wrapped around my waist while I'm fucking you!"_

_Maura"s breath hitched and her legs became weak jane picked her up placing her hands under Maura's ass. Maura in turn wrapped her legs around Jane's waist sliding her hands around Jane's neck gently taking her lower lip in between her teeth, after letting go she spoke into a kiss " Like this or like this." She said as she tightened her grip with her legs pushing her further into Jane._

_"mmmm we Have way to many clothes on, lets go upstairs and take everything off."_

_"Everything." _

_"The shoes stay"_

_Maura let out a sultry laugh "I knew you loved my shoes."_

Jane looked as if she was pushed backwards, "wha...what I "

"Jane are you o.k whats going on." Maura looked generally worried she had never seen Jane so pale, frightened, and her heart was racing. Maura helped jane back into bed and pressed the call button demanding a doctor come right away. Jane was now crying and holding onto Maura's hand begging her not to leave.  
>As angry as Maura was with jane she still loved the woman and she could not leave her in such a state.<p>

"I'm not going anywhere Jane, I'm not going anywhere."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thank you for the feedback i really enjoy reading all your comments. I definitely take everything you say into consideration. SteltZ I implemented the change you suggested and it worked wonderfully, thank you! Thank you to all the other reviewers as well! I am going to use a lot of medical terms in chapter 5, please let me know if i should just use layman's terms.**

**Chapter 5**

Maura watched the doctors and nurses trying to stabilize Jane. After she got Jane in bed everything went downhill. Jane became tachycardic and had difficulty breathing. Maura paced finding it increasingly difficult to not demand the doctors stop and explain why this was happening. All Korsak said was that Jane was hurt bad and is having memory problems, he said nothing of cardiac issues. One of the doctors walked over to Maura, "Hi Ms..."

"Mrs. Rizzoli"

"My apologies, Mrs. Rizzoli does Jane have any anxiety issues or history of panic attacks?"

" No never, why is that whats happening now a panic attack?"

"We're not sure, Jane had two episodes similar to this one in her earlier hospital stay.  
>We just sedated her which will keep her calm while we try to figure out whats happening.<br>With this new onset of symptoms and her complaint of severe headache, I'm going to order a CT scan for her so we can determine if her symptoms are due to a brain bleed."

" Uhm.. so you don think she has just a concussion now, She may have a brain bleed. Why wasnt a CT scan done before, I hope I don't have to tell you how bad a delay in diagnosis of a brain hemorrhage can be. Who is the doctor in charge?"

" I'm am very well aware of the impact delay in diagnosis can have, I'm Dr. Becher Head of Neurosurgery and you are?"

"Dr. Rizzoli the chief medical examiner of the common wealth of Massachusetts, maiden name Isles as in the isles foundation, one of this hospitals biggest benefactors."

The doctor stepped back as if he had just been pushed back by the words that just came out of Maura's mouth. He looked around quickly trying to determine if any one else just saw his smack down. His face was turning red with no doubt the anger he was feeling at being one up'd by a woman no less.

"Well Dr. Rizzoli, I looked at her chart earlier and noted that Jane refused all diagnostic testing."

"Ugh this woman, I...I just ooh she makes me so mad. What did they do the first time she was here?"

"They gave her I.V hydration, oxygen, and sent her home with a prescription for pain meds before she signed out AMA. I'm meeting with the treating doctor later today."

Maura shook her head and walked over to the window embarrassed that she was so short with Dr. Becher. I mean why should she stand up for a woman who obviously had no regard for her own health. She should have known better. Jane never could understand the importance of taking care of her health, or not taking chances with her life. She could be so infuriating sometimes, hell most of the time. Maura turned to look at Jane. A small smile pulled at her lips, but there were the times that Jane showed her that she could be the most loving partner in the world. That was the person she was here for, that was the woman she loved.

"I'm sorry about my outburst doctor its hard to see a loved one in this position. Please forgive me, I'm sure you will do your best to help Jane."

"It's perfectly understandable, all is forgiven Mrs. Rizzoli."

"Please call me Maura."

Dr. Becher gave Maura a small smile. "Maura we are going to do our best to help Jane you have my word. Now if you'll excuse me"

Maura wrapped her arms around her self trying to get some comfort from the storm that was brewing inside. She was so conflicted, she wanted to walk out and never look back. But then when she looked at Jane lying in the bed looking small and vulnerable she couldn't get her feet to move. She was madly in love with this woman for 8 years before it all went down hill. Jane kept putting herself in danger, everything came before their family.

Maura and Jane had been secretly in love with each other for two years, dating for one, and married for five years before their divorce. Maura had also given birth to twins, Isabella and Jack. They were four years old. Both of the twins absolutely adored Jane who they called Ma. The divorce was hard on them; kids didn't understand why there ma and mommy did't live together anymore, why mommy and ma fight, or why they can't stay with ma forever.  
>Their were a lot of harsh words thrown Maura's way. On a intellectual level she under stood that they didn't mean it, but it still stung when she heard her children talk to her with such disdain.<p>

Maura made her way to Janes' bed. She gently moved a strand of Jane's hair out of her face.  
>Jane looked at peace. She wished that she could be at peace right now. Her hand slowly made its way down her face, around her chin, and on to her lips. She traced each one remembering how they felt and tasted. Maura bent over stopping just short of Jane's lips, fighting an internal battle whether or not to kiss her or walk away. Maura closed the distance and was just about to kiss Jane when she felt Jane's warm breath and heard her raspy voice.<p>

"Please don't"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Sorry for the late update I had my daughter's birthday yesterday and by the end of it I was too tired to finish up the story and post. That was poor planning on my part. Hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 6**

Maura opened her eyes, and back up just enough to see that Jane's eyes were still closed.  
>she stood up now with a clear head she understood that it was wrong to take advantage of Jane's unconscious state. She was not ready for what was next though.<p>

"Please don't go Casey please"

Jane was having a nightmare and so was Maura. Maura always wondered if Jane was having an affair when their marriage began to crumble. Casey though, why Casey, she thought. Of all the people, that made the fact of adultery ten times worse. They were to be married before Jane and Maura came to terms with their feelings for each other. This was what brought Maura out of here feelings for Jane of the past, Jane of the present she hated. She had walked to the door with her hand on the handle when she thought of her kids, Jack and Bella. They would want her to stay; they would want her to look after their mother. So she stayed for them, and only them was what she told herself as she huffed and sat on the chair near Jane's bed.

Tears began to fill Maura's eyes, she fought them back. Maura made a promise to herself that she would never cry over Jane Rizolli again, " I will not cry for you, I will not let you hurt me again." she whispered softly.

Jane felt the pain in her head before she even opened her eyes. As she slowly opened one eye after the other she remembered she was back in the hospital. She took a deep Breathe trying to fight off the nausea that was now present. After a couple deep breaths and no relief, Jane decided to press the nurses button. The nurse's voice came loudly over the speaker, making Jane cringe. " What can I get you"

"I have a splitting headache and nausea, can I get something please."

"We'll be right in."

"I don't believe I've ever heard you request medicine before" Maura said

Jane jumped at the sound of Maura's voice, she had thought she was alone. She placed her hand on her mouth as this made her nausea even worse. "Geez Maura you trying to give me a heart attack."

"If I wanted to kill you Jane; I would have, a long time ago." Maura said while staring blankly at Jane. Maura had stayed for her kids but by no means was she happy about it.

"Okay...uhm you stayed, thanks. Although from the looks of it you aren't here willingly."

Maura stood and walked up to Jane's bed looking her straight in the eyes, " I'm not."

Jane stared back her eyes were squinted trying to figure were this hostility was coming from. " Why are you here than, and why the change. I recall you holding my hand and saying; saying with a much more positive attitude that you weren't going anywhere. what happened?"

"You were talking in your sleep, you called out for Casey."

"Why wouldn't I call out for him he's my boyfriend?"

Maura thought her legs were going to give out on her, she turned as not to give Jane the satisfaction of seeing her cry. But instead of walking out she was filled with anger and wanted answers. She felt as though she deserved them, and she was not leaving without them. " Did you have the decency to wait till after we were divorced to start a relationship with Casey, or is he the reason you started pulling away?"

"Divorced; what... Maura please you have to believe me when I tell you that two days ago I left to search for a suspect, there was an accident and when I woke up there was all this stuff that didn't make sense. Two days ago I was dating Casey and you were dating Ian I don't remember any marriage; please Maur; I can keep saying this till you believe me cause it's the truth!"

Maura's eyes closed and her head dropped she hadn't heard that nick name in months it brought back so many memories, good memories. which was to blame for her hesitancy in leaving. She should leave, she wanted to leave, but she couldn't. Maura could say Jane is a lot of things but never a liar. For some reason Jane truly believed that they had never been married. Maura knew a way to absolutely tell if she was being truthful, the kids.  
>Maura decided that if she could deny her kids that Jane had no memory of them. The Jane she knew could never deny her children no matter what, and if that was the case than she would stay.<p>

She had to stay and find out the answers, for their kids and for their history as wives and friends. Maura lifted her head and after a big breath she asked, "what am I supposed to tell Jack and Bella?".

"Who are they and why should I care?" Jane stared at Maura with true confusion. She honestly had no idea who Jack and Bella where.

Maura sat down on the chair quite hard actually. She was floored by this new information Jane had no memory of their life together. What was she supposed to do, either there is a brain bleed and the memory loss could be permanent or there was an outcome to scary to even think about.  
>Maura cleared her throat "I believe you Jane." Maura said in a whisper<p>

"Did you say you believe me, cause I've been going out of mind here, and if I could get just one person to validate what I'm saying, well that would be wonderful right now"

Maura contemplated this new information and wondered how much she should share with jane. Maura didn't want to scare Jane but spending five years married she knew Jane would want to know everything. She moved her chair as close to the bed as she could get and grabbed Jane's hand.

"Jane sweetie it appears that the last six years of your life has been wiped from your memory.  
>You dated Casey, and I Ian before we began dating."<p>

"Maura we're best friends we...we don't like each other that way, we just don't"

"Jane, be honest with yourself you've never felt more, ever."

Jane just stared straight ahead wondering why this was the time she was confronted with this, when she had nowhere to go. she knew she felt something more of a friendship for Maura, but that was to scary of a proposition what would her mother think what would the guys at work say. Scarier yet what if it didn't work out and she lost her best friend, all of this added up and it was a no brainer she was to marry Casey. He was safe, he wasn't complicated.

"I know what your thinking Jane."

"You couldn't possibly."

"You're afraid of what your mother,and the guys you work with will think. Youre petrified of what will happen if our relationship does not work. and even though you feel more for me than Casey, He is the safe choice. Am I close?"

Jane's jaw dropped, it was as if Maura was in Jane's head. How could she know all that.  
>she closed her mouth and turned her head once again, closing her eyes. She wished over and over again she was still on the bottom of that dirty warehouse floor and this was all some sick dream her subconscious was making up. She finally looked back at Maura and asked " okay answer this for me than if we were so in love that I'd risk everything for a life with you why aren't we still together? And why are you here?"<p>

Maura looked down at her hands that were on her lap. this was it her chance to let it all out, but where to start. How do you tell a woman with no memory of  
>their life together how much she hurt you, how she made you feel so little, and hurt their children in the process. How do you do that, she had no idea. She could answer her other question though she knew exactly why she was there. Maura looked back up at Jane. taking a deep breath in the process.<p>

"Korsak called and said you were hurt bad, so I came. He said your memory of the last six years was gone so I came. I wanted to be here for the Jane I once loved with all my heart, the woman I would have died for. And I am here Jane, I'm here because you can't remember the bad and I envy you for it."

"Trust me when I say this is no picnic"

"I'm not sure what eating outside has to do with anything, but you are definitely in the enviable position of being able to start all over again. Without all the pain that came with the demise of our relationship."

Jane rolled her eyes. "I can't stand this hatred I feel coming from you, Maur please tell me what I can do to fix us?"

Just as Maura was going to answer the nurse walked in with some medicine for Jane. Jane gave an apologetic look to Maura sensing they were bout to get somewhere.

"Jane I'm your nurse for the evening my name is Laura, anything you need just ask for me. I'm going to give you Reglan for your nausea and some morphine for your headache both will make you very sleepy. Anything else I can get you?"

"No thanks"

"Okay I'll check on you later."

Maura knew Jane would be asleep soon so she decided not to continue with their discussion any further at the moment. " Jane I need to get home to the kids  
>I'll come by tomorrow."<p>

"You promise, Maura as fucked up as everything is now you have to believe me when I say, that I want to fix it. I want to figure out whats going on, and fix us." Jane said with a sad smile.

" I wish I could believe that Jane, but time will tell." Maura said as she gathered her purse and walked out with tears in her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N A lot of reviewers have mentioned how sad this story is. It will get lighter I promise but right now its essential to the story to tell it in the manner it is. I promise you though this story has a happy ending, and of course Rizzles all the way. So fear not I have no intention of leaving you all in a puddle of tears :)**

**Chapter 7**

_"mmm... you...know...I...could...get...used...to...this, Jane said as she kissed her way down Maura's body. Right before she made her move to continue on the lower half of her body, Maura ran her hands in Jane's hair pulling her up so they were eye to eye._

_"You mean, Frost doesn't greet you the same way!" Maura said with a smirk._

_"eww Maura why..." Jane was cut off by Maura's mouth on hers._

_Their tongues danced along each others mouth, with a mixture of moans coming from both. Just as Jane began to slide her hand down Maura's breast slick with sweat, Maura slid her leg between Jane's and flipped her over. Maura straddled Jane rocking back and forth on her center. She placed her hands on both Jane's breasts licking her lips with anticipation Jane began to moan, Maura knew it wouldn't take much longer; after their morning of love-making they were both ready for more. " Jane I'm...going...too.."_

_"I'm...there...come... with me love...come"_

Jane bolted upright in bed breathing heavy and sweating. " What the fuck was that?"

Jane looked around the room wondering if she was alone, or had someone witnessed her being startled. She wondered what that was; it definitely wasn't a dream, it was too vivid. She felt every touch, tasted Maura's skin, and felt every emotion in that room. That was impossible though, right? There's no way that could be a memory. Jane had never kissed Maura, let alone do..that with her. But Oh god, that was amazing! Even more amazing was that she wanted to do it again. Jane placed her hand over her mouth as if she had been speaking out loud. She began to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, or just the fact that she was probably going crazy.

Jane's cell phone rang, she didn't recognize the number. " Detective Rizzoli"

" Since when do you answer my calls so formal?"

" Since when did you change your number?" Jane was blushing at the sound of Maura's voice and the memory of her writhing in pleasure flashing in her mind.

"Jane my number has been changed since we sold the house and I moved, remember?"

"Should I even say that I don't recall anything anymore?"

Maura mentally slapped herself for talking to Jane as if everything was normal. She just couldn't get used to this Jane. She had gotten used to fighting and treating Jane with little respect. She was having a hard time acting as though things were good between them. After she left last night she cried uncontrollably, having Jane not want her was one thing but to have her have no memory at all of their marriage was like a knife to the heart.

"Sorry Jane, This is going to take time on my part."

"That's okay. I would be just as confused as you if the situation was reversed."

"Have they scheduled your CT scan yet?"

"Yes, it's for one o'clock"

There was a pause. Maura wasn't sure how to ask Jane if she could be there. She wasn't sure how Jane felt about her after their conversations yesterday. Maura decided to just be as straight forward as always. " Jane would you mind if I came by today to hear the results?"

"Not at all, I would like that actually!"

"Okay I'll just get ready and head over... is there anything you need?" Maura had no idea where that came from she was telling herself it is the polite thing to do, but in reality she knew she did it because she cares.

"Uh can you contact my mother for me she wont answer my calls."

"I'll try Jane; I will, but she hasn't been real receptive to anything that has to do with you. Sorry"

Jane's eyes filled with tears, never in her life had she not been with her mother while she was sick or injured. She ended the call with Maura quickly so as not to let Maura hear her cry. Things seemed to be more confusing now than they were three days ago. She could only hope and pray that the tests today had answers for her.

Maura arrived at the hospital shortly before Jane's CT scan was scheduled. She didn't want there to be any awkward moments of silence, she still was unsure of the whole situation. Before entering Jane's room she took a couple of deep breaths, than told her self it's just jane, it's just Jane.

"Jane... Jane are you here?" Maura knocked on the bathroom, there was no answer. Unless Jane was hiding under the bed waiting to scare her Jane wasn't here. Maura asked one of the nurses her whereabouts, and she was told she went for x-ray's. Maura sat down by the window and waited.

Jane was wheeled in to her room about ten minutes later. She was wearing a jonny and hospital issued pants. Jane looked tired and pale, neither could boud well for her diagnosis Maura thought. The orderly tried to help Jane into bed and she waved him away warning not to treat her as an invalid. Maura had to giggle at this. she stood up and waited for Jane to get settled before she talked.

"So it seems there's one thing that's the same in your mind or mine, you still hate hospitals."

Jane laughed which brought a smile to Maura's face. " They treat you like your dying in here, I could walk but _no_ they make me ride around the hospital in that fucking wheel chair. Oh damn, sorry no swearing" Jane put her hands up in surrender.

Maura Laughed as this reminded her so much of their early days, the banter back and forth its one of the things she missed the most.

"Why did you need to have X-ray's I thought it was just your brain they with concerned with?"

"I've been having pain in my side they think I might have broken some of my ribs."

"Which you would of known about if you had stayed in the hospital the first time."

Jane glared at Maura she didn't want to fight seeing as her and Korsak seem to be the only people talking to her at the moment, but why did she have to be so condescending. " Please don't start I felt fine at the time and I needed to find out why no one would come for me or worse yet why my ma wouldn't even talk to me. That was more important than my health."

"Everything is always more important than your health" Just as Jane was about to interject Maura held her hand up and said what Jane was thinking.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that it was uncalled for."

"No It's okay I believe I do put others before my self, but that's just because I care for you all so much that I forget how you all feel when I don't take care of myself."

Maura began to play with a loose string on the bed sheet. " I wish you could have said that six months ago Jane, maybe things would be different."

After an awkward silence Maura cleared her throat. " So Korsak said you were hurt on the job but he didn't say how."

Jane told the story of how she was injured to Maura, she listened intently. For a while Maura sat there confused not knowing how to approach jane with the fact that her entire recounting of the incident was unlikely to have happened that way seeing as Frankie is on vacation so there was no way he could have been on that call with her.

"Jane I know this is getting to be a bit redundant, but everything you remember is incorrect there's no way Frankie was there with you he's in Italy. He has been for six days now. I'm sorry sweetie but as Korsak tells it you went there on your own, against his orders."

"That's impossible Maura he was there Korsak was there I swear to you!"

"Jane I know you believe that the warehouse incident happened as you say. I know you believe that the entire last six years hasn't happened I really do, but that's why your here something is preventing you from remembering the truth."

" I don't believe that Maura; I don't, how could something feel so real and be wrong huh, How?"

"I don't have the answer for that. Lets just wait and see what the tests say okay"

Jane looked ahead not wanting to cry but was helpless to do anything about it. She put her head in her hands and sobbed. Maura walked over to her bed and sat down on the edge, she grabbed one of Jane's hands puling it away from her face. They both stared at each other for a bit, until Maura took Jane in her arms and held her as she cried. Maura began to cry as well, she hadn't held Jane or felt her touch in eight months. It felt good to be that close to the woman she still loved and would always love no matter what.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Hi folks some news I will be on vacation for a couple weeks so this chapter will be the last for a couple weeks at least. I tried to take that into consideration when I wrote this chapter, making it long and substantial. I read all your reviews and appreciate them. Many of you want to know whats going on with Jane, that will be answered this chapter. Stephed101 your question will be answered here, hopefully. Also I have to apoligize I had two Draft's for this story-one Frankie is in town and the second he's on vacation so chap 3 Korsak says hes here and chap 7 Maura says Frankie is on vaca sorry sorry sorry. For the record he's on vaca. This will be another sad one but I promise it will get better.  
><strong>

**Chapter 8**

Maura paced back and forth in Jane's room. the orderlies took her down to the CT scan about two hours ago. Maura had a hundred things running through her mind, but the number one was how good it felt to be in Jane's arms once again. She didn't want it to feel good, she wished she hated it. Ever since their divorce Maura wished for one more touch, one more kiss,  
>just one more of more. Now that it was here, she wasn't sure how to feel about their embrace.<br>As good as it felt to hold each other again, there was no way it could provide the closure Maura needed seeing as Jane had no recollection of their divorce, or the events that caused the divorce.

Right now though, she just needed to know what the results of the tests were. Then she could proceed with her quest for answers. One of the many other things on her mind was how to get Angela to come to the hospital. Even though Maura was a forensic pathologist, she was well aware of the many things that could cause memory loss and personality changes, and none were good.  
>She knew Angela would never forgive herself if she missed out on being there for her daughter if her greatest fears came true.<p>

Angela hadn't talked more than a handful of words to Jane since right before the divorce. Not only did she take the divorce very hard, but they had an awful fight that Angela never got over.  
>Jane had said some horrible things to her mother, things that she had to regret as they were so awful. They still loved each other though; Maura knew that to be true, she just had to get the two of them to admit that. Maura decided to "put on her big girl panties" as Jane would say and call Angela.<p>

"Hello..."

"Hello Angela. It's Maura."

"Maura where are you calling me from?"

"Angela I'm calling from the hospital...Hello, Angela, are you there?"

"Why would you go there; you don't owe her anything! If your calling to get me to come there, your out of your mind sweetie. There's nothing you or her could say."

"Angela, it's worse than a concussion...please just...at least leave your phone on. She is having a CT scan done right now, I will call with the results."

"How much worse Maura like is she, is she gonna..."

Maura interrupted Angela not wanting her to panic. " No Angela, no, she's just, well she's not herself and there trying to figure out why."

"Not herself! What does that mean?"

"Jane does not remember being married to me, the twins, or anything else over the last six years.  
>She also believes Frankie was with her on the call she received her injuries on."<p>

" Are you sure she's not running a scam on you; I mean how do you not remember the last six years of your life?"

"It's not that she doesn't have any memories of the last six years, it's just as if they never even happened for her yet." Maura sighed and sat down.

"You think she's telling the truth...don't you?"

"Angela, I have no reason to believe otherwise." Maura stared out the window hoping she was right;  
>as this conversation was now bringing doubt into her mind. There was a pause and a sigh on the other end.<p>

"Maura, you know my daughter better than anyone, if you say she has no memory, I'll trust you.  
>I'll keep my phone on too."<p>

Maura's eyes began to water; it meant so much to have her say that. She told Angela she would call as soon as there was something to report. After hanging up the phone, Maura stood up and began to pace again, but not for long. The door swung open and Jane was wheeled in on a stretcher, followed by doctors and nurses.

"What happened?" Maura said as she moved out of the way to allow the staff to get Jane into bed.

"While Jane was in the CT scanner, she had an apparent seizure." One of the doctors said.

"A seizure wh..why? She was she was fine when they came to get her, what happened?"

"Jane was doing fine, even sat on the scanner table herself. Than approximately five minutes into the test she began to have a seizure. We had to sedate her to get the seizing to stop, so she's going to be out of it for a while." The doctor replied.

"Where is Dr. Becher?"

"He will be in shortly, he can explain everything in greater detail. If you need anything till than please don't hesitate to have Laura call." The doctor turned and left before Maura could ask any further questions.

The rest of the nurses left after getting Jane situated on a monitor and oxygen, she also had some I.V. fluids running. Maura wiped at the tear that was running down her cheek. Things are getting worse, she thought. I can't do this, she said to herself as she grabbed her purse and walked out of the room. Maura made it just pass the nurses office and into the stairwell before she collapsed and began to quietly sob. She held her hand over her mouth trying not to let others hear her crying. Maura heard the door one level up in the stairwell open up, she stood up quickly and tried to wipe the tears away. Nurse Laura came bounding down the stairs, almost running into Maura.

"Oh shit, Oh my god, Mrs. Rizzoli sorry. I'm so sorry...are you okay."

"Yes, yes. No actually I'm not, I'm just" Maura took in a big breath of air, shaking her head.

"I just got paged about Jane... why aren't you in the room? Did something happen?"

Maura continued to wipe at the tears flowing furiously from her eyes. She didn't know what to say, she didn't know why she was hiding out in a stairwell sobbing instead of being inside Jane's room. Was it the surge of emotions she felt at losing Jane or was she happy to be over with it. To be able to move on with her life finally, to be able to stop hoping and pining for a relationship with a woman who has made it clear many times that there would never be one again. Well that would be relieving... and heartbreaking. She looked straight at nurse Laura seeing the care in her eyes the worry in her face, she knew what she was going to do.

"We should go, Jane needs us."

"Lets go."

Maura and Laura walked back to Jane's room. Jane was beginning to wake up but was very drugged and confused. Laura giggled at the slurred words coming out of Jane's mouth.

"MMMaura so so beautiful i i llllove...you! Like really reallyyyyy love you!" Jane put her arms out silently asking for Maura to step into them.

Maura had to laugh herself at the absurdity of the situation, here she was weighing her hate and love for a woman who was now after everything, professing her love. Maura moved closer and pushed Jane's arms down with little resistance. She gave Jane a gentle smile and rubbed her arms.

"How are you feeling sweetie? Do you know what happened?"

"I...I feel sore, you are so beautiful!"

Maura continued to stare at Jane; she began to allow herself to feel the love coming from Jane. Maura wanted to believe it was real, that it was genuine.

"Mauraaaa, ccan I tell something to you?"

"Yes Jane, you may."

"One day, I Jane am gonna marry you Maura. I'm gonna marry you, you'll see."

Maura began to tear up again but she smiled. " You are?"

Jane reached up and wiped a tear from Maura's eye. "Yes, I am."

Maura grabbed Jane's hand and kissed it than placed it on her cheek. " I think I would like that very much."

Jane pumped her other fist in the air and smiled broadly. " Yesss!"

Maura laughed what felt like her first real laugh in months. She enjoyed having this Jane back even if it was due to drugs. Jane had become very off-putting the final months of their marriage. She was that way with most everyone for much longer, but with her she hadn't become distant till it was apparent their relationship was over. Maura remembered the day it came to an end.

_"No, you don't get to just walk away, not with out some answers. I'm tired of walking on eggshells with you; I'm your wife, not some suspect you can intimidate." Maura said as she followed behind Jane. They were having another fight about Jane's whereabouts. Jane has been home late for the past two weeks always using excuses or threats to get out of answering any questions. Tonight Maura had had enough, she was going to find out what was going on no matter the cost. The answer couldn't be any worse than what she was thinking any way. For the past five months their marriage has been rocky to say the least, with every month getting worse. It began with fighting over taking extra shifts, than putting herself in harms way. The next month it would be too many secrets and forgetting dates with her or the kids. So on and so forth, but tonight, Jane not only forgot to pick the kids up from preschool, but she also came home late after repeated denied calls placed by Maura. It was too much for anyone, but for a woman who felt like she lost her best friend, it was unbearable._

_"Maura please, I said I was sorry already. What do you want me to do; I'm a homicide detective. Sometimes we work late and don't get to pick our kids up. It happens, please get over it already. I'm tired, I've had a long day and i just want to sleep."_

_Maura slammed both hands down on the kitchen island " **GET OVER IT, GET OVER IT! IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY**?"_

_"Stop yelling the kids are asleep."_

_"That's lovely, where was that concern for your children this afternoon?"_

_Jane walked closer to Maura and with her finger pointed at her she said "don't you dare ever question my caring for our children, ever again!"_

_Maura stepped even closer causing Jane's finger to touch her chest. "Or what?"_

_Jane stared at Maura, both seething, untill Jane relented and backed up running her hands thru her hair. She took a couple of big breaths before turning around to face Maura once again. "What do you want me to say Maura? What do I have to say to not fight with you because this fighting is getting real old. I'm tired of it; I know you are, so please just tell me what to do."_

_Maura began to cry and as she wiped at the tears now falling down her cheeks she said "I want you to quit."_

_"Quit what, quit fighting, what?"_

_"Your job, if you would like to stay married to me, I need you to quit the BPD."_

That was the greatest regret Maura had, giving Jane a ultimatum. It ruined her marriage; she bluffed and Jane called it. Looking back, she wished she went about it all differently, but also doesn't know how she could have at that point. Jane hadn't left her with many choices, it was her job or her family. It had become clear that Jane couldn't balance both any longer. In giving Jane the ultimatum though, it caused her to not only lose a wife, but a best friend as well. After the divorce and the weeks up to it their conversations were limited to the kids and bills.

Just as Maura was pondering the past Dr. Becher walked in. "Dr. Rizzloi, Jane."

Maura stood up and held onto Jane's hand preparing for news of her condition. "Dr. Becher."

"Hey doc"

"Jane, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good doc, real good. I think they gave me something!"

"Yes Jane, they did. You had a seizure in the scanner and we had to give you some ativan to get the seizure to stop. You may feel a little, well, high for a lack of a better word for a bit. Do you have any questions?"

Jane laughed "Doc, all I have is questions!"

"Yes, well I will be answering some of those for you right now. The CT scan showed a lesion on the frontal lobe of your brain.

"Tumor or abscess?" Maura asked with not much feeling in her tone.

"We're not sure at this time if its an abscess or a tumor. Also, if it is a tumor we won't know whether its benign or malignant untill we do further testing."

"When will you do this testing?"

"I have ordered an MRI tomorrow morning, and I'm going to have them come and get some more blood for testing tonight. Jane do you have any questions?"

Jane looked between Maura and the doctor, reading their faces to tell how bad it really was. She knew a tumor was never good but she had no idea what an abscess would do to her. She decided to defer to Maura for understanding. "I would like you to tell Maura all the specifics, no dumbing anything down doc."

Maura shook her head for him to continue on.

"What we know now is the lesion measures -+approximately 3x4 cm, without rim enhancement, and is not fluid filled."

Maura stood there for a moment looking straight past the doctor. Than she took a deep breath and looked back at him. "So it looks like a tumor than?"

"I'm afraid so, I can not tell you definitely whether it is begin or malignant till we do a biopsy. Given her mental status changes, severe headache, and seizure today though we are going to treat this as a malignant tumor for right now."

"Thank you doc, I guess that answers my only question, 'when will i be getting out?' and it sounds like the answer is not for a while."

"Yes you will be staying with us for a while longer Jane. Anything else I could answer?"

"No thanks."

Maura just nodded to the doctor. She was too stunned by the information he just gave them to speak. It felt as though her legs were going to give out, so she sat down in the chair next to Jane's bed all the while still holding Jane's hand. She smiled at Jane not wanting to scare her, but it was Jane who spoke the truth first.

"So I don't have to be your kinda smart to know that was bad news."

Maura stroked Jane's hand clearing her throat that now felt dry. "I'm afraid so sweetie."

"Don't cry Maur, it will be okay. None of this is real anyway." Jane said as she became very sleepy and began to close her eyes but still smiling.

"I wish that to be the truth, love." Maura whispered as she kissed Jane's hand and laid her head down on the edge of Jane's bed. Crying herself to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Thank you for your reviews and PM's I really appreciate them. Seeing as I haven't had a chance to update in a couple of weeks I am going to try to post a few chapters this week, I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 9**

Jane could feel the sun on her face and wished she had closed the curtains before she went to bed. One more hour of sleep is all she wanted, but seeing as she was now up and felt as though her head had been...her head. It all came back to her, she now remembered the bad news they received last night. They, her and Maura, was Maura still here? Jane cracked her eyes open than slammed them shut when the light caused a sharp pain behind her eyes. Jane could feel a pressure on her right hand and recalled Maura holding her hand last night. She knew it was still her, she could smell the honey-blond, she smelled like love, safety, and home.

Jane squeezed Maura's hand ever so gentle not wanting to wake her up, but needing to feel closer. She reveled in the peace of the moment, if it weren't for the pain in her head it would be a beautiful moment. Jane wanted the Maura she remembered back, the one who didn't have a look in her eyes that said a piece of her soul was missing. One thing she could never accept though was that she is the cause for Maura's pain. Jane had known she was in love with Maura since the Doyle shooting. Jane had never been so scared of loosing someone as she had been than. Every day without Maura was like having to experience the worst day of your life over and over in slow motion. That's when she knew that she didn't just love Maura, but was in love with Maura.

Jane could not Fathom finally getting over all her insecurities and fears than having Maura return her feelings to only end up divorced. Nothing made sense about this situation. She would never let go of Maura, she was her eternal love, her endgame, her life. Jane began to shed the tears that had built in her eyes over the profound sadness she was feeling.

" Jane are you in pain, why are you crying?" Nurse Laura asked as she walked in the room.

Jane motioned to the blinds with her left hand and whispered " Too bright".

Nurse Laura took in Maura's sleeping form and make quick yet quite work out of closing the blinds. She walked to the left side of Jane and whispered " Jane how are you feeling and how bad on a scale of one thru ten?"

"Massive head pain, eight." She replied.

"Okay I'll get you something for the pain hold tight."

Maura began to wake up sensing the commotion in the room she looked up at Jane who's eyes were now slightly opened and smiled "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. How are you? that position couldn't have been good on your back and neck."

" Don't deflect Jane" Maura said as she glared at Jane.

" I have a headache, Laura is getting me something." Jane noticed Maura slowly standing up and stretching with a wince in her eyes. Jane chuckled softly.

"Whats funny?" Maura asked

"Talk about deflecting" Jane said with a grin.

Maura smiled back at Jane " Yes well I'm not the one in the hospital bed."

"You should go home get some real rest, I'll call if anything happens."

"No, No I'm not leaving. I need to find out what the plan for today is, Doctor Becher should be in soon." Maura said as she straightened out her clothing.

Jane stared at Maura than noticed that their hands were still intertwined. Jane took a deep breath and decided it was time to talk about all the hurt that Maura claims she caused. " Why are you here, why would you put yourself through all this for a woman who broke you?"

Maura let go of Jane's Hand and cleared her throat walking to the window grabbing her purse by the chair. " I have some phone calls I need to make, I shouldn't be long."

"Answer me...please."

"I don't have one Jane." Maura answered a little more forcefully than she intended. "I...I don't have one. I just know that I have to be here. I couldn't, I wouldn't forgive myself if something were to happen and.." She trailed off choking up and having to turn away so Jane would not see the tears forming.

"Maura look at me...Please look at me"

Maura turned around slowly, wiping at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. She looked at Jane with so much sadness that Jane would never be able to forget that look as long as she lived. Jane took in a deep breath and held her hand out hoping that Maura would take it. Maura walked closer to the bed and slowly lifted her hand up placing it in Jane's. Their fingers intertwined and Jane stroked Maura's Hand with her thumb.

"Maura I can't remember all the things I did and said, to fill you with so much sorrow. I'm sorry but I can't, But I will apologize to you till I have no more breath in my body, If that will make things right." Jane said with such sincerity and tears in her eyes.

Maura smiled and grabbed on to Jane's with her other hand "It would be a great place to start."

Jane laughed and for a moment was able to forget about the pain that was building in her head. Maura had that great ability to take away all that ailed Jane. Just as she was about to continue on with their conversation nurse Laura and an unknown nurse walked in Jane let out a small growl of frustration.

"Be nice Jane" Maura said as she smiled at the nurses knowing full well what the growl was for.

Laura introduced the daytime nurse to Jane and administered her medicine thru her I.V she advised Jane that she would become tired very soon. As they were taking their leave. Maura noted that Jane's vitals were starting to stabilize again they had risen no doubt due to her pain level. She decided to give Jane some time to rest, after all it did no one any good to just sit and watch her sleep.

" Jane I'm going to make some phone calls than maybe get something to eat. Rest up I'll be back." She said as she picked up Jane's hand and kissed it.

"That sounds good... I'm thinking I'm gonna be out.. soon." Jane said while her eyes fluttered shut.

As Maura walked to the door her heart fluttered at the thought that this could be the turning point in their reconciliation. She felt as though she could breathe again. As she walked out of the room she felt a real smile fall over her face and took one last look at Jane whispering " I'll be right back love."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Jane woke to an empty room, but she could hear voices just outside the door. Jane recognized one of them as Maura's. Jane smiled loving the knowledge that Maura now knows her true feelings and better yet returned them. Her smile began to fade as she was hit with the realization that she never actually confessed her feelings and Maura loved a woman she thought Jane was.  
>If it wasn't for the monitor continually beeping she would have sworn her heart stopped, when she thought about talking to Maura.<p>

As Maura walked into the room she was immediately worried, Jane was pale and breathing hard.  
>She looked to the monitor noting that besides her pulse, her vitals were normal. She walked slowly towards Jane speaking softly. "Jane what's wrong?"<p>

Jane looked over to see Maura walking over to her. She swallowed hard, than took a deep breath.  
>Jane patted the side of the bed, quietly asking Maura to sit beside her. As she sat she took Jane's hand in hers.<p>

"Maur, you know I cant remember our life together right?" Maura nodded

"You know than that, I can't recall the day I made my feelings for you known. I know it sounds weird,  
>but could you please indulge me by allowing me to tell you like it's the first time how I feel for you?"<p>

Maura nodded again, somehow she had lost all of her communication skills. She could also feel tears falling from her eyes.

Jane swallowed again." Maura every time I said I love you, I lied. I don't love you, I'm in love with you.  
>every time you needed a shoulder to cry on, I offered mine. Not out of friendship, but because of a selfish need to feel you in my arms. I haven't told you till now because I'm scared to lose you. You are my best friend, my whole world. If I ever lost that, I would cease to exist. I can't live with out you. I hope this doesn't stop our friendship, but most of all I hope, I dream of a time when you will say you love me too." Jane said with tears in her eyes.<p>

Maura was crying now and holding on tight to Jane's hand. Jane could feel Maura shaking, but was paralysed with fear to do anything about it. Was she crying cause she no longer felt the same for her or were they tears of happiness. Jane didn't have to wait long for an answer, Maura bent over placing both hands on Jane's cheeks than kissed her, it was gentle at first than became more heated. Maura ran her tongue across Jane's lips, Jane knew exactly what she was asking for so she opened her mouth running her tonuge across Maura's. Jane reached up and put her hands in Maura's hair pulling her closer. Maura pulled back just enough to say what she needed to in that moment. " You will always have my heart, there was only ever you!"

Jane could feel every word on her lips. She thought her heart might literally explode, but she kept hearing Maura say that would be scientifically impossible. Maura began to moan as their kisses became more and more heated, Jane kept her hands in Maura's hair pulling her head back enough to have access to her neck. "Oh, Jane, I have missed your touch."

_"mmm, oh Jane I have missed your touch!"_

_"I've only been gone a couple days am I that good?" Jane said with a devilish grin._

_Maura straddled Jane " Yes, you are. You have me so wet right now, see!" She said as she grabbed Jane's hand and placed it between her and Jane._

_"OH...MY...GOD" Jane said while slowly moving her fingers inside._

_"Fuck me" Maura exhaled._

_"I plan to, all night." Jane said as she sat up remaining inside Maura, and reaching around to place her other arm around Maura's back. Maura leaned back into her embrace slightly. Maura began to move against Jane keeping her eyes locked on to Jane's. Jane looked down slightly to watch Maura's supple breasts sway with their movements. She could stare at her breasts for hours and it wouldn't be long enough. _

Jane stopped kissing Maura and pushed her back slightly looking directly into her eyes than down to her breasts whispering " It wouldn't be long enough."

"What?" Maura was confused she saw confusion, than arousal flash over Jane's face. " Jane whats the matter?"

Jane shook her head " It can't be, Maura did... did I have a.. a fondness for your, a your breasts?" Jane was blushing

Maura started to laugh Lifting Jane's chin so that she was looking at her when she said. " You LOVED my breasts, and I can see that you still do!"

Jane laughed as well, than sobered remembering all the flashbacks and decided to tell Maura about them. " Maura I just had a memory pop into my head of a time when you and I, when we were, well we"

"Making love Jane, It's okay to say it."

"Yes well It's gonna take some getting use to. Did I ever go away for a couple of days after we were together?"

"You had to pick a suspect up in Maine once and you were gone for two days. If I recall there was a very nice homecoming for you that evening." Maura said with a seductive smile.

"Wait you remember? Do you remember anything else? That's a great sign Jane!" Maura said leaning into kiss Jane again.

Jane stopped Maura not needing the distraction right now as she tried to decipher what was going on. " Maur please as much as I would love to continue kissing you, and I would _really_ love to continue, I cant have the distraction right now. This isn't the first time I had a memory flash into my mind."

"Jane what else have you remembered?"

"Well the first was about your shoes, the second was us in bed making love, the third was just now we were making love...again." Jane said with another blush

Maura stared at Jane trying to figure out how to approach this. She knew Jane was having trouble believing in a history she doesn't remember, but maybe if she continued to have these memories she would believe. This made Maura extremely happy,but she had to be cautious. If she became to overjoyed it might irritate Jane, and set them back, or shut her down completely. " How do you feel about the memories?"

Jane looked up "Honestly...scared shitless! Does this make me crazy?"

"Jane you're not crazy, you're not! I was just talking to Doctor Becher, He said the mass is located in your frontal lobe. That's the area of the brain that affects your memory, Jane that's why you can't remember anything. You see your not crazy, your sick that's all and we are going to make this better. I wont rest till you are better." She leaned in for another kiss but was interrupted by the nursing staff.

"Detective Rizzoli we are here to get you ready for your MRI." As the staff worked to disconnect Jane from her monitors and I.V jane and Maura just stared at each other smiling trying to reassure each other that it would all be okay. As the staff started to wheel Jane out of the room she brushed her hand against Maura's hand and mouthed I love you.

After the staff wheeled Jane out Maura decided it was time to get Angela down to the hospital for Jane and Angela's sake.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Sorry for the lack of updates I wanted to write something that conveyed the hurt that was caused by Jane and Angela, but nothing was coming out like I wanted. I hope this does this chapter justice, if not please let me know about it. I said in the beginning this was my first story so any feedback could only help. Thank you!**

**Chapter 11**

Maura sat in Jane's room. She was anxious to hear the results, and to tell Jane that her mother was coming. Maura worried about what their interaction would be seeing as they haven't spoken in six months. Maura hoped given the situation they could forgive one an other. She was surprised to see Angela walk tentatively through the door, she had hoped to talk to Jane before she arrived.

"Angela thank you for coming, this will mean so much to Jane." Maura said trying to hide her surprise

"As I said on the phone, I'm doing this for you Maura. I need you to understand that, Jane still hasn't earned my forgiveness." Angela said rather harshly.

" Yes well I appreciate you being here,... it's been rather_ hard_ dealing with this alone."

Angela held her arms out and walked towards Maura enveloping her in a warm hug. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Of course honey, sorry. This must be hard on you, how have you two been together? have you talked."

Maura stepped back away from Angela suddenly feeling like a small child about to disappoint her mother. She cleared her throat trying to hold her tears back. " Communication between us has gone... well"

Angela's eyes squinted as she looked at Maura. " You're avoiding Maura. That tells me that you have something you're afraid to tell me, and that could only mean one thing. You forgave her!

Maura looked up at Angela noting the hurt that had washed over her features. She never intended to hurt Angela, after all she had become so close to her through the divorce and after. She wondered what she would have done without Angela's help and motherly guidance. This was her life though, and she loved Jane, she was the love of her life. If that meant that she would have to be looked upon in such a way by Angela than so be it. She hated that she was the one to hurt a woman who had given her so much, but Angela just had to understand that they belonged together.

Angela could tell by the silence that Maura was taking Jane back. She shook her head and after a big sigh she said "After all she put you through, you could go back just like that. I don't get it Maura, I don't. I had to pick you up of the floor literally. What could she possibly have said to wipe all that away."

"Angela I never wanted to hurt you, you have to understand that. I feel closer to you than my own mother, but this is my life. I need her Angela, I'm not whole without her. I have the chance to feel again,to laugh, breathe and live again. Please... please understand that."

Maura ran her hands through her hair she was becoming frustrated. There was no easy answer to Angela's question or at least not one that would satisfy her. Maura couldn't even explain it to herself she was still holding on to the pain of the past but she also knew how much she loved Jane and nothing would ever change that. " Angela trust me please, I know what I am doing... I remember all the pain and let downs I do, but I also remember the love. I need that back in my life, I need her."

Maura held her hands up pleading with Angela to just trust her and keep her mind open. Angela could see the truth in her eyes, one she thought she would never see again. Maura was finally whole again, and she could never be mad about that. She walked up to Maura, placed both hands on her shoulders and smiled " How could I stand in the way of love sweetie."

Maura and Angela were hugging and crying as Jane was brought back in to her room. She looked over at both women excited to finally have her mother here a thought she would never normally admit but after not hearing from her in days she didn't care who knew.

" Ma oh my god I'm so glad to see you. Please before you start yelling or whatever let me just say I'm sorry for whatever it is that your mad at me for."

Angela couldn't believe what she heard. " Jane Clemintine Rizzoli how dare you give a half ass apology to me after all you said."

"Why don't we wait until the room is clear." Maura said.

It wasn't until Maura said that both women realized there was still orderlies and nurses in the rooms. Both woman stayed quiet but glared at each other looking as though they were both ready to pounce the moment the room was clear. As if the whole room could sense this the staff worked fast to remove them self from the room.

Jane was the first to speak. " Ma I have no idea what I said to you, If you bothered to check on me earlier you'd know that I can't remember a damn thing."

" Well lucky you than, cause I can't forget."

" Okay, lets just calm down for a second and talk this out in a level that the whole hospital can not hear." Maura said.

"Ma please I don't want to fight with you. I don't your my mother, please just tell me what to do." Jane begged

"I will not have your apology until your mind is refreshed."

"Angela that statement doesn't really." Before Maura could finish both women glared over at her.

Maura stopped dead in her tracks and decided that this probably was not the best time to correct either one of the hot-blooded Rizzoli woman. " Uhm I think I will go grab some coffee, while you two talk."

Maura grabbed her purse and walked over to Jane leaning down to Kiss her cheek. She also moved a stray curl out of Jane's face. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Ma please sit."

Angela looked over at the chairs but decided she need to stand if she was going to have to relive their falling out. " I'm fine standing."

"Okay...Please tell me what happened Ma."

Halfway through Angela's account of the argument, It was as Jane was being transported back to Frankie's apartment, she could remember everything and it crushed her. She never imagined she could be so cruel to one of the closest people in her life.

_Jane seekd some solace at her brother Frankie's apartment after she decided to leave Maura. She didn't know where else to turn so she ended up there, where she could trust that her brother would tell her just how much of an ass she was. She wanted to be berated and punished for what she just did. How could she hurt the one person who loved her better than any one before. After a day of Frankie letting his anger out, and Jane taking it. He left her to go to work, but not without telling her he still loved her. Jane was lounging on the couch when she heard Frankie's door open and slam shut. Jane looked to see her mother walk in.  
><em>

_"Whoa Ma take it easy ha."_

_"What did you do?"_

_Jane sat up on the couch placing her elbows on her knees "Ma not now okay, this is between me and Maura stay out of it."_

_"No I will not especially after I had to literally pick your wife up off the ground. Tell me it's not true you're not leaving her"_

_"Ma I said stay out of it!" Jane's voice was becoming more agitated_

_"Staying out of things is your specialty."_

_Jane jumped up facing her mother knowing full well where this argument was going " Whats that supposed to mean Ma"_

_"Like you did with Tommy, and look where that got him. Drunk and out on the streets."_

_" I fail...you still want to blame me for that don't you, cause lord knows its easier than admitting you failed as a parent."_

_As soon as the words left Jane's mouth she regretted them, but it was to late they were out. Angela looked on devastated, she walked closer to Jane  
><em>

_"How dare you, he came to you for help, you not me. He needed you and you turned your back on him, now we don't know if he's alive or dead."_

_" I'm not his keeper Ma, I'm not, you're his mother if any one is to blame its you. You should of been a good mother instead of a good catholic. He told you many times he needed help and what did you say come to church, pray, ask god for help. He didn't need god he needed a mother who didn't turn a blind eye."_

_Angela slapped Jane across the face, tears in her eyes. "You don't think I ask my self why...why i didn't do more everyday. I'm not perfect but he came to you that night, he begged you for help, and you literally closed the door on him. You turned your back on everyone who mattered. Just like your no good father, now you will be alone just like him."  
><em>

_Jane still had her hand on her cheek where she had been slapped. " Oh how perfect you bring up another person in your life you couldn't keep around, pop wasn't too blame for leaving you are."  
><em>

_Frankie ran in hearing the yelling from outside his door. " What the fuck is going on."_

_"Ask your ingrate sister"_

_"Ask your insane mother." they both yelled at the same time._

_"You both need to calm down, Ma I know your upset about the divorce but it's Janie's life okay."_

_" No it's not just her life it's Maura's, and the twins as well. Have you even given any thought to your babies."_

_Jane walked to the fridge and pulled out a beer, placing it on her cheek " The kids will be fine, I will make sure of that."_

_" Just like you made sure that you would look out for Maura. Do you not remember your vows Jane?"_

_"Ma for the last time stay out of it, it's got nothing to do with you. And don't go running your mouth to the whole neighborhood."_

_"Don't worry Jane I wont say a word to the neighborhood, or you." Angela said as she stormed out of the apartment._

Both Jane and Angela were in tears, Jane had her hand over her mouth too shocked at what she just was told and remembered to speak. Angela could see the profound pain in her daughters face. She wanted to hold her, and tell her it would be alright but she couldn't just yet, she needed to hear an apology.

" Ma... Ma I'm so so sorry. please. Something had to be wrong I would never say such horrible things. I'm...ma I'm sorry please believe me." Jane said while sobbing.

Angela knew they had both made mistakes in that argument. She put to much blame on Jane, she wasnt the only one who held blame. Angela walked over to Jane and held her hand causing Jane to cry even more. "It's okay baby, I'm here. Shhh." Angela sat on the edge of the bed and held onto her daughter crying along with her letting go of all the pain.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Thank you for the reviews. A lot of people have been wondering where is the other Jane, why did she leave, and what made her so mean. I promise all those questions will be answered, but It will take some time (not much) due to the way the story is planned. I'm sorry some of you are confused because of this, but if I were to write out the answers right of way it would ruin the story.**

**Chapter 12**

Maura was making her way back to Jane's room when she spotted Dr. Becher. She made her way down the hall to speak to him.

"Dr. Becher, Hi, sorry to approach you like this but I would really like to know the results of Jane's MRI."

"Ahh Dr. Rizzoli, I was just on my way to Jane's room. I'll be there as soon as I finish this other patients chart. It shouldn't take long."

"Yes you have other patients, of course, but you see I only have Jane. If something is making her sick I would really, really love to know about it sooner than later. If you dont mind."

Dr. Becher let out a sigh and closed the chart he was working on. Turning his full attention to Maura. " Dr. Rizzoli please understand my position. I can't delvuge this information without Jane's permission. Your no longer her wife, therefore I can not legally tell you the results without her consent. I have shared with you what i can legally but you will just have to wait untill I can get to Jane's room which wont be long now I promise."

Maura wiped at the tear that had escaped from her green colored eye. " I understand doctor sorry to bother you." She said as she began to walk away.

" Maura wait!" Maura stopped and looked over her shoulder towards the doctor.

"I, well, is it alright if I call you Maura?"

Maura now turned fully around. " Yes you may."

"Maura why don't I walk to Jane's room with you, and you can both hear the results."

Both Dr. Becher and Maura began to walk towards Jane room both with a knowing silence between them. Dr. Becher hated giving this news and Maura already knew by his reluctance to give her any information that it wasnt good.

Upon their arrival at Jane's room they were both greeted by the Rizzoli woman. Maura noticed a lack of agitation between the two women and hoped that meant that they were able to work their greavience's toward each other out. She would have to ask about that later though right now all she was concerned with was the test results.

" Jane how are you feeling?" Dr. Becher asked noting Jane's sickly pallor. He also noted how Jane's eyes never left Maura's as she walked up to Jane's bed grabbing hold of her hand.

"I'm ok doc." Jane said trying to mask the nervousness she felt inside.

" Jane is it alright if I talk to you about all your test results right now" He said while looking over at Angela.

"Oh yeah, yeah it's fine this is my mother Angela Rizzoli."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Rizzloi" Dr. Becher said while holding his hand out to Angela

Angela shook the doctors hand and said with a smile " It's Ms. Rizzloi now"

"I apologize"

" Dont worry about it, I don't." Angela said with a smile and a wink.

"Ma!" Jane said through gritted teeth.

Angela held out both hands saying under her breath. " what"

The doctor cleared his throat wanting to continue on with what he was there for. He stood at the foot of the bed, Maura and Angela were on opposite sides holding Jane's hands. He took a moment to look at the three of them noting that this was the moment he always tried to hold onto when things get too tough. The moment when everyone looks so hopeful of good news, before he broke their hearts and crushed their dreams of a happy future. This was the moment he wished would last forever before the tears and hopelessness.

"Jane the MRI showed a malignant glioma in the frontal lobe of your brain. There is swelling and some compressed nerves associated with this tumor. Your blood tests also show a rise in your white blood cell count. When you add in the symptoms that you have been having such as seizures, memory loss, and from the family history we got increased behavioral problems, I'm sorry to inform you, that you have brain cancer.

Jane just stared ahead, too stunned to say anything. She didn't know how to comprehend what the doctor just said. This couldn't be real, it can't, it just can't, she thought. The last thing she remembered was falling through a roof, and now she is being told that she has brain cancer. What the _fuck_ is all that rang through her head. She wanted to ignore it all and continue to believe that none of this is real. She couldn't though, the mounting evidence proved that everything Maura has been saying is true. So she was going to aproach this just like she did everything else, head on. So she has a brain tumor that has altered her memory, that has taken away her memories of her life, and caused her to fuck up the closest of her relationships. She was going to get her revenge on this tumor, if I can beat a murderous stalker like Holt I could beat this, she thought.

"Jane, Jane did you understand what I just said" Doctor Becher asked.

"Jane" Maura asked

Jane looked over to Maura she had tears falling down her cheeks, eyes red with pain. Jane let go of her mothers hand and reached over wiping some of the tears from Maura's face. She knew she needed to be strong for her, if she breaks down no one would be there to hold Maura up. Who will wipe her tears away, or hold her in their arms, and whisper in her ear that everything is going to be okay.

" I heard you doc, how bad?" she said never taking her eyes off Maura.

" It's a fairly large tumor and the time frame suggest it's a fairly fast growing tumor. Both those things are not good for you, but I need to get a biopsy to know more."

Anglea wiped her tears and cleared her throat asking " What do you mean not good?"

" A tumor of this magnitude is hard to treat. Most patients don't live very long with rumors like this." the doctor said.

Maura tightened her grip on Jane's hand, going pale ,and Angela sat down in her chair sobbing into her hands.

Jane's posture never changed, she was unwavering in her resolve to beat this. To stay strong for her loved ones, even though the more the doctor talked the harder the harder it sounded the fight would be.

" So were do we go from here doc." Jane asked.

" Well you are young and other wise healthy so first I'd like to approach this surgically. I would like to go in and try to remove as much of the tumor as possible. Than we can put you on a round of chemotherapy." Doctor Becher said.

"Okay so that's what we'll do. I'm gonna need some time though, I'd like to go home and take care of a few things." Jane said

" Jane no" both Angela and Maura said

" I agree Jane we need to start sooner than later" Doctor Becher said.

" listen I understand your worry but I need this, it's not a negotiation."

" Jane please for me don't do this" Maura said

" Just a week, one week Maura. That's all"

Maura looked into Jane's eyes and saw the desperation,to have this week of normalcy before all their lives were thrown into chaos. She knew than she would agree.

" One week, than you'll come right back." Maura said

"I'll drive" Jane said with a smirk

" You most definitely will not." Maura responded with know inning smile of what Jane was trying to do.

" You two can't be serious doctor say something" Angela pleaded now standing

" Unfortunately there is nothing I can do. Jane has the right to leave even though I don't agree with that decision." Doctor Becher said

" Ma it will be okay, trust me please"

Angela wouldn't look at her daughter, they just made amends and know Jane was going to take another risk with her life it was to much she grabbed her purse and walked out of the room.

" Ma wait, please" Jane pleaded

Jane sighed " She is such a pain in my ass"

" One would say you are quite like her" Maura said with a slight smile

Jane scoffed and glare at Maura. " Really"

The doctor cleared his throat feeling as if he was intruding a private moment. " Yes well I'll get your discharge papers ready. And also get you on my schedule for one week from today. I can not stress how important it is that you come back."

" Don't worry doc I'll be here." Jane said.

" Yes she will." Maura said

**A/N sorry for the delay. My CPU crashed. No further delays expected**.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N thank you to rehellams for pointing out my typo with hoyt's name. I'm also honored to have all the followers that I do, thank you all. This chapter is going to delve deeper into Maura and Jane's relationship and how they plan on repairing it. It will be split into three chapters. Here's the first two.  
><strong>

**Chapter 13**

Jane sat in the passenger seat of Frankie's car. looking out the window trying to remain calm with all that had happened in the last 24 hours. She never knew hurt like this, or anger. She loved Maura with all her heart but she could be the most insufferable woman ever. Jane tried she really had but there's only so much one can take. What have I done Jane thought all of a sudden, she can't leave things like this, she had to see Maura even if she didn't want to see her.

"So you gonna let me get all the way to your apartment till you tell me to turn around or what?"

"Excuse me." Jane said.

"Janie I know you and I know the torment that your putting yourself through right now. You were angry, you left, but now you regret that. Am I right?"

Jane just stared at her little brother in amazement that he knew her so well. He was right too, she wanted to go back but how could she after all that was said. It still confused and made her angry, she could only imagine what Maura was going through. There was no way she would want to see her, right?

Jane turned to look back out the window " There's no point Maura doesn't want me there."

Frankie pulled the car over and shut it off, he than turned to look at his sister. "Janie look at me, _LOOK AT ME_"  
>he said forcefully<p>

Jane was taken aback by his tone, he had never raised his voice to her. She turned to look at him but just to prove that she was still in control she crossed her arms, defiant until the end.

"Jane I watched you change after the divorce, it, it was as if you were dying a slow death. Everyday you put on your _I'm untouchable_ face but I saw through that. I saw the pain in your eyes, the sadness in your heart. Don't walk away again, don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to Maura she deserves more from you. Ma and I saw what you didn't, the most put together person in the world was devastated. Do you know most days Ma had to drag her out of bed, help her get dressed and practically force feed the woman, all because you left her. The one person I know she loves more than life itself left, don't do that to her again."

"How'd you get so smart Frankie, ha?" Jane said while wiping at tears in her eyes

"I had a good teacher." Frankie said with a smile.

Jane looked straight ahead not wanting him to see her cry anymore than he had too." What do I do, I can't just walk back in and say I'm sorry."

"Yes you do Janie, you say your sorry, than you say your sorry some more. Than you keep saying your sorry till she forgives you. You need her as much as she needs you, so fight for it!"

Jane put her head back on the seat head rest and sighed. "Frankie take me home."

"My pleasure." Frankie said and while grabbing a hold of Jane's hand and giving it a squeeze.

On the drive back to the beacon hill home Jane once shared with Maura Jane couldn't help but think back to how this all got started. Things were going so good at the hospital but as soon as Jane arrived at Maura's after her insisting, things went horribly wrong

Jane and Maura were waiting for her discharge papers, both aware of a sudden tension in the air. Neither were sure what to do from here. It was easy to admit there love for each other, but now that they were going home what's next. Does Maura just pretend that all the pain of Jane's behavior never existed, Jane doesn't remember there life together so how does she just go back to being a married woman. There were so many questions that needed to be discussed, but both woman were afraid to bring up the pain of the past. Jane sat on the edge of the bed playing with her hospital wrist band, taking a deep breath she decided it was now or never.

"So are we gonna talk about whats next from here."

"What do you mean?" Maura asked

"I mean we are a divorced couple that has kids which I remember none of, so where do we go from here?"

Maura stared at Jane not sure herself of what to do next, but she knew they didn't have much time. Maura didn't want to waste one second of it, so she knew what she had to do.

"Jane I want you to come home with me, you can sleep in the guest bed. Jackson and Isabella would love to have you there, and it might help you to remember some more. I would also feel better if you were there instead of alone at your apartment."

"Maura about the kids, don't you think it might be traumatizing to them when I don't recognize them." Jane said

Maura moved closer to Jane and took her hands into hers. " Jane you are their mother, they need you."

"And you, do you need me Maura?" Jane said

Maura kept her head down staring at their hands intertwined. " I want, I need to repair what we broke Jane."

"You mean what I broke." Jane said while reaching out to lift Maura's head up by her chin.

A tear escaped Maura's eye. " Yes...what you broke Jane."

Jane wiped away the fallen tear with her thumb, she than pulled Maura in to a hug. Jane kissed the side of Maura's head and whispered into her ear " I will fix us Maur."

Maura fully embraced Jane, they were both crying now. Both with a new found hope for the future, However long it may be. Jane was the first to pull away just enough to look into Maura's eyes. She smiled, trying to reassure Maura, trying to convey her intent to make the hurt that was in Maura's eyes and soul go away. Just as they were about to kiss nurse Laura walked in.

Jane growled releasing Maura. " You have the worst timing ever!"

Both Maura and Laura laughed. " Well you wont have to worry about that anymore, your walking papers are here." Laura said

"Thank God, no offence but I'm really sick of this place."

"None taken, besides I'll get to torture you some more next week when you come back." Laura said with a smile.

Nurse Laura cut Jane's bracelet off and had her sign her discharge papers. She also gave Maura prescriptions for pain meds to fill for Jane. Maura and Jane left the hospital hand in hand. Jane refused the wheel chair even though she was still pretty weak on her feet the staff agreed. Jane and Maura made their way home in Maura's car.

"So where do you live now?" Jane asked

"I bought another home in beacon hill, It is my prefered neighborhood."

"And why do I still have my apartment?"

"You rented it out while we were married, you said it was prime real estate. Later on in our marriage though you admitted that you rented it so that you could make more money to contribute to the household. I always told you money didn't matter to me but you insisted on being equal in that department."

"And after the divorce I moved back in?" Jane asked

Maura stared ahead and just nodded it was hard to discuss this, but she knew it was important for Jane to know. Jane stared at Maura seeing the sadness in her face, she reached over and grabbed onto her hand giving it a squeeze.

"Thank you." Maura said

"For what?" Jane asked

"For still knowing when I need comforting." Maura said while glancing at Jane and her hands.

"So tell me about the twins." Jane said

"Do you remember anything Jane?"

"My memory only comes back in bits when something triggers it, hopefully when I see them something comes back." Jane said sadly

"I carried them but we used both our eggs, Jackson looks like me and Isabella looks just like you. Their personalities are the opposite though." Maura said with a giggle

" So than I take it Jack is a bit of a handful." Jane said with a smile

Maura took her eyes off the road almost swerving into oncoming traffic. " Whoa Maur what's wrong?" Jane asked

"I'm sorry, it's just...just now you said Jack. You always called Jackson Jack, never Jackson. Did you remember something?" Maura asked

"No I'm sorry, I just said it without thinking."

Maura squeezed Jane's hand to reassure her this time after hearing the sad tone of her voice. The rest of the ride was spent with Maura telling Jane all about the twins, their likes and dislikes. How they both are die hard Red Sox fans thanks to Jane. How Jane is so protective of them, It pretty much took a family intervention to get Jane to let them have their first sleep over at a friends home. How every birthday Jane makes them their favorite breakfast Bunny pancakes and bacon, turkey bacon for Isabella. Jane soaked up every bit of information, she never took her eyes off of Maura the entire time she was talking. By the time they pulled into the driveway she felt as though she knew everything about them, except she didn't actually know them. This scared her to death,, she has two kids, two four year old's that she has never met. What was she to do, she never really imagined herself as a parent, and now she had one minute to become one. Jane knew that if she didn't put her best foot forward it would be traumatizing to the kids.

What do I do she kept asking herself, what do I say, how do I behave around them. She felt herself begin to panic, she began to hyperventilate. Maura noticed this along with the sudden pallor of Jane's skin and became frightened that something was seriously wrong.

"Jane what's wrong, Jane please talk to me!" Maura said while turned fully in her seat.

Jane turned slowly looking at Maura. " I have two kids, I don't know what to do with that."

"Jane you love kids you will be fine. Just think of T.J and how you were with him. Look in my eyes Jane, Look at me and breathe just like me. In through your nose out through your mouth, In through your nose out through your mouth."

Jane was trying to breathe but she was just getting worse she felt herself begin to fade. Maura noticed this and did the only thing she thought to distract Jane. She climbed into her lap, placed both hands on her cheeks and kissed her. It was slow and sensual at first, she just ment to bring Jane down from her panic attack, but than the kiss grew more desperate. Tongues danced along each other, Maura bite down gently on Jane's bottom lip. They were both moaning with a growing need for more, Hands slid in hair and pulled just on the verge of pain. Maura's hips began to rock back and forth causing her skirt to slide up around her hips. Jane slid her hands under the sides of Maura's panties grabbing onto her ass, eliciting a moan in Jane's mouth. Jane knew they should stop after all this would be her first time with Maura, at least that she could remember, and she did not want it to be in a car.

"Maur...Maur...we need to stop." Jane said while resting her forehead against Maura's

Maura was breathing heavy but shook her head yes. " You are right, we can't do this."

"I love you Maura Rizzoli!"

"I love you Jane Rizzoli!" They both said with wide grins.

"Lets go inside, Ma is probably getting ready to come out here and check on us." Jane said with a blink of her eye

"Oh heavens no, although it wouldn't be the first time she caught us in the act." Maura said as she climbed off jane fixing her clothing.

Jane gasped and stared at Maura. "I don't want to know."

Maura laughed as she exited the car, she walked around to help Jane out. " I wish I was as fortunate."

As the pair walked up the driveway and towards the front steps Jane stopped and took a deep breath. " Ready?" Maura asked

"Together?" Jane asked

"Together." Maura said


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Jane felt as though she was in a strangers home, it had many of the same decorations and furnishings that Maura's old home had, but it still felt foreign to her. Maura was putting the bag of clothes that Jane had at the hospital in the laundry room so Jane had a chance to just take in her surroundings. She walked into the living room first and noted the wall of photographs, photo's of her life. A life she had no memory of, there were ones of her and the kids and ones of the whole family together. The only one she recognized was a photo of her and Maura taken a week before she shot herself. Jane reached up and grabbed the photo off the wall, for the time she held that photo she was herself again. A whole person who wasn't sick, who had no void in their memory, Just Jane Maura's best friend.

Maura walked into the living room and saw Jane staring at a photo, she looked to the wall and knew immediately which photo it was. She noted the sadness in Jane's face. She wondered what she was thinking. " Quarter for your thoughts."

Jane placed the photo back while rolling her eyes. "It's penny, and I was just thinking back to when this picture was taken. Things were a lot less complicated."

"Less complicated, we were both hiding are feelings for each other. That sounds complicated to me."

Jane kissed Maura tenderly on the cheek. " Do you always have to be right."

"Yes." Maura said with a smile

Just than Angela and the kids came in from the backyard. The twins bolted for Jane almost knocking her down in the process. Each one had a hold of one of Jane's legs they were also talking at the same time. Each one had a hundred questions, Maura could see that Jane was becoming overwhelmed with it all so she intervened on her behalf.

"Okay kids, lets let Ma sit down and you can talk to her in an orderly fashion. Not like two children that I had no part in raising."

"Yes Momma." They both said

Jane sat down on the couch, the twins joined her waiting for the okay to ask their questions. Maura and Angela were about to make their way into the living room to help Jane if she were to get in to deep. Jane put her hand up stopping them, she also glanced at Maura and smiled letting her know she got this.

"Okay, ask away you two." Jane said

"Are you back for good Ma?" Jackson asked

"I have to go back to the doctors next week so only for a little while."

"Why do you have to spend so much time at the doctors Ma?" Isabella asked

"Ma has a...a boo boo in her head."

"Boo boo Ma were not babies anymore." Jackson said

"That's right you're not, you are going to have to forgive me I forget that sometimes." Jane said with a smile

"Are you Hurt?"

"Well."

"Do you have to go away for awhile?"

"I'm not sure."

"Can we come this time?"

Maura saw Jane struggling to communicate her condition to the twins so she decided to walk over and help. She sat down next to Jane on the couch taking her hand in hers.

"Sweeties Ma and Momma need to Have a grown up talk with you. We need you to put on your best listening ears for a while can you do that for us?" Maura said

The twins both agreed. Jane squeezed Maura's hand silently thanking her for recognizing that she needed help communicating to their children. she wanted to try and do it herself, but she had to admit defeat after all she was way out of her league with the twins.

"Okay" They both said

"Do you remember what Ma said about hurt's?" Maura asked

"There are big hurt's and small hurt's." Jackson said

Isabella giggles "Momma says hurt's isn't a word."

"Momma says you say a lot of wrong words Ma." Jackson said

Jane glares at Maura noting her sheepish smile. Jane begins to giggle along with the twins. "You'll have to tell me more of what momma says about MA later."

"Okay lets get back on topic." Maura says trying to avoid that conversation. "Do you two remember what Ma said about big hurts?" Maura asked

"Everyone will get small hurts and those go away, but some people get big hurts and they are harder to go away." Isabella said

"Like the people Momma help." Jackson asked

"No my baby, those people have hurts that never go away." Maura said while chocking up, tears escaping from her eyes.

"Momma why are you crying?" Isabella asked

Jane squeezed Maura's hand letting her know that they were in this together " Momma is a little sad right now because we need to tell you that I have a big hurt right now. And in order to try and get better I'm going to have to go back to the doctors for a while." Jane said

"And than your hurt will be gone?" Isabella asked

"I'm gonna try real hard to make sure it is!"

"Can we come?" asked Jackson

"You can visit Ma but not right away my love's" Maura said

"Why, I want to be with Ma." Jackson said

"Ma is going to need her rest in the beginning, just like you two did when you had chicken pox." Maura said

"Do you have chicken pox Ma?" Isabella asked

Jane laughed and picked her up to hug her " Something like that sweetie, something like that."

Angela could tell that both Maura and Jane were exhausted so she decided to take the kids to her house to make dinner for everyone. She told Maura she would drive dinner and the kids back over at six pm. Once gone Jane and Maura felt an awkwardness fall over them. Without the kids or Angela what do they do, there was so much to say.

"I think I'll take a shower if that's okay." Jane said

"Yes, of course. There are towels in the guest room closet. Should I get you some of my clothes until we go to your place later?"

"Yeah thanks, but nothing to...to you." Jane said

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean."

"you know..."

"No I don't please enlighten me." Maura said while crossing her arms

Jane could tell some of the underlying tension was starting to come out so she decided to relent to Maura's judgment. " I'm sorry I didn't mean anything by it. Whatever you want to get me would be fine, thank you."

"I'm sorry too, I just..." Maura said as she uncrossed her arms walking towards Jane.

"It's okay Maur I understand, I get it really. It hurts though to know how much I hurt you. So I think its best if I just go take a shower now." Jane said as she stepped back from Maura not wanting to be comforted, and feeling as though she wasn't good enough to comfort Maura

" okay, I'll be in the living room if you need anything." Maura said

"Thanks I shouldn't be long."

Maura walked into the living room and sat on the couch. She couldn't understand why all that anger came out. She thought she could do this but maybe she was wrong.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Thank you for the reviews once again. To the reviewers who said they can't understand why Maura is still so mad at Jane, think of it this way Jane put Maura through unimaginable hurt. With her words and actions, that kind of pain (which will be discussed) doesn't just go away because of a brain tumor. That is the reason why Maura forgave her so easily though, but forgive and forget are two different things. Big thanks to the guest reviewer who tried to put this in perspective for other readers. I'm trying to tell a story that involves a past and a present, and those two are not always told in succession. For any confusion I apologize.**

**Chapter 15**

Jane exited her room wearing a pair of yoga pant's and a Red Sox sweatshirt, she was still towel drying her hair when she heard the glass break. Jane was immediately drawn back into another memory of her past, one she would wish she never remembered.

_All Jane heard was the unmistakable sound of glass breaking right before she felt the shards tearing through her flesh. The next thing she knew she was being torn from her seat._

_"Where's our boy Detective, where is Shane ha?" A henchman for the Flannigan mob said to Jane as he held her by the lapels of her jacket._

_" Sh Shane who the hell!" Jane said a bit disoriented by the quickness that this had all gone down. last thing she remembered was being at a red light._

_"Don't bitch ok just don't play stupid wit us. We know ya was the one who pinched him at the warehouse, so tell us how ya gonna make it right." A second henchman said._

_"I don't know what you expect from me, but your boy is already locked up and on his way to a very long stay behind bars. There's nothing I can do about that." Jane said with a small smile knowing they weren't going to get what they wanted._

_"Do you honestly think that the three Irish mobs who control Boston are going to let a punk kid and a cop run this city, do you?"_

_"Why does the Flannigan's want in on this its between Doyle and Finn. You guys jealous, want to play in the sandbox too." Jane said_

_Listen bitch, that boy is ol man Flannigan's nephew, and because of you he's got a price on his head. a price that's making it bad for business and bad for our reputation."_

_"He has a price on his head cause he wanted to impress the Finn's, bet you uncle really loved that." Jane said right before she was punched in the stomach._

_"That's none of your concern, we handle family business inside the family."_

_"Tell me something if it was so important for him to impress a rival mob why do you care what happens to him." Jane asked_

_"Really some detective you are, He made the boss look bad, real bad. He wanted to be part of the Finn mob just to piss the old man off, and that he did. So now we're gonna handle the situation." _

_The henchman that was holding Jane threw her back slamming Jane into her car. The second punched her right in her abs causing her to slouch down and cough in pain. She was lifted back up, held tighter around her lapels, and slammed into the car again. The goon who was holding onto Jane got so close to her face that she could taste the scotch and cigars on his breath._

_"I'm only gonna say this once Rizzoli, you'd betta find a case of amnesia when it comes to testifying for Shane, or were gonna have to find what you love the most and tear it away. Just like you did when you took the bosses nephew from him." He said with a final punch to Jane's gut._

_Jane struggled to stay on her feet " Wait, wait what...what do you mean."_

_As the two were retrieving the bat they used to smash Jane's driver side window in one yelled back " You sure do have a pretty family Rizzoli, how bout you keep it that way."_

_Jane reached for her gun but it wasn't on her side, she left it at home as she ran out for the kids milk. Jane had never been so infuriated and scared at the same time. She had to get home, she had to make sure her family was okay. Jane jumped back in the driver's seat ignoring the pain she felt from her head to her stomach. Jane wrapped her jacket around her hand and wiped the glass off her seat. Jane drove with her lights on trying to get home as fast as possible. When she reached home she bolted from the car and almost busted the door down as she was opening it._

_"Maura" Jane yelled_

_"Jane is everything...Oh my Jane your face is covered in blood what happened?" Maura asked as she rushed to be by Jane's side. She attempted to move some of Jane's hair to get a better look but Jane stepped away._

_"The kids where are the kids?" Jane asked as she was about to take off looking for them._

_Maura grabbed Jane by the arm halting her in her tracks. " Jane they are upstairs sleeping, what happened please talk to me."_

_Jane saw the genuine concern in Maura's face and thought about how much she truly loved this woman. She couldn't get what Flannigan's men said out of her head, what you love the most. Had she ignored her better judgment all these years. She knew that with her crazy job and the habit she had of bringing it home with her, literally, That she could lose Maura one day. That was part of the reason as to why she took so long to admit to her feelings, it put Maura in a vulnerable spot. She could not live with herself if anything were to happen to Maura, or the kids now. What was she to do though living without them either way was not an option, so what came out of her mouth next would never be a mystery to her._

_"Uh I.. I was in a car accident. I must have been knocked unconscious cause I thought you and the kids were in danger."  
><em>

_"A car accident, why didn't you stay on scene? Was anyone else involved? Are you in any pain?" Maura was asking questions while she physically checked Jane for any neck or back injuries._

_Jane stilled Maura's hands and stared into her eyes " I'm okay, look at me I'm okay. Just a bunch of small cuts that's all."_

_"Are you sure, most people don't feel all their injuries due to the amount of adrenaline running through their bodies at the time of incident. and if you think you were unconscious"_

_"Maur I'm fine okay, I just need to take a shower and than you can get a better look at these cuts on my face."  
><em>

_"Jane what about the accident do we need to call the police?" Maura asked_

_"I am the police." Jane said while walking up to their bedroom.  
><em>

_"Jane this is not the time for jokes." Maura said while following Jane._

_Jane sighed and turned around just as they entered the bedroom. " Maur, sweetie. I was at a red light when a tree branch fell down and hit my window there's nothing to report. I'll call Korsak before i go to bed so he will be aware that I'm driving around in a windowless cruiser, but other than that there is nothing else to do. I have some cuts and a concussion nothing new" she said with a smile  
><em>

_Maura walked over to Jane and looked her in the eyes as if she could tell Jane was lying. It hurt to know the woman you loved would lie to you, she decided to let it go for now. Jane had never lied to her before so she must have good reason for it now. She helped Jane check her hair for any remaining glass and then went to go check on the kids. As for Jane she knew Maura saw right through her lies, but she couldn't tell her the truth the less she was involved the better._

_Three weeks went by and everyday of those three weeks were a living nightmare. How could she even think of lying on the stand, she could be thrown in jail, she would betray her oath to protect and serve, and if the truth came out she would lose the respect of the only person she has ever loved. Everyday she was also reminded of what she could lose by not lying by the Flannigan mob. She needed out of this situation and quick, but how could she? Those three weeks began to eat away at her soul she became distant and short with everyone except Maura. She didn't like what she was becoming, neither did Korsak. He was tired of getting complaints about Jane every day from someone who she had pissed off. He also was finding it harder to get her partner to stay, he seemed to be her number one punching bag. _

_Today was the day of the trial, the day she had dreaded since that fateful evening three weeks ago. She was number four on the list of the prosecutions witnesses, which meant it could be a while before she is called. Jane had been so close to telling Maura the truth that day she needed her best friend and wife's advice. She decided that she couldn't put Maura in that situation. Jane would have to ride this out alone. Or so she thought, Just prior to her being called to testify Jane received a visit from Maura._

_"What are you doing here I thought you were busy all day?" Jane asked excitedly _

_"I am, but I wanted to wish you good luck! I know you have been letting this case bother you for some time now and I just wanted to let you know that I love you! Maura said as she stood on her tip toes ever so slightly to match Jane's hight in heels, kissing her tenderly on the lips.  
><em>

_"Thank you for that I needed that more than you know." Jane felt some of the tension lift off her shoulder with that kiss. Because now it was clear what she had to do, that kiss said everything she needed to hear without saying anything at all._

_Jane walked Maura out and headed back to the hall to wait for her name to be called. She didn't have to wait long, Jane took a deep breath and walked in to the court room with her head held high. As she walked to the stand she noticed Jonny Flynn one of Doyle's men sitting in the audience. She hadn't thought much of it seeing as the Doyle's and Flannigan's have been enemies for decades, but after she sat down she noticed a piece of paper folded on top of her file. She discretely unfolded it, without taking her eyes off the prosecution and placed it on top of her file of Shane O'Malley. _

_"Detective Rizzoli could you please state the events that took place on July 19th."_

_As Jane was recounting the events that took place in the warehouse she was also reading the note that was mysteriously left for her. It was a not from Paddy Doyle it read as follows;_

_Jane I know what you have gone through these past few weeks, I know about the threat. I can protect Maura and the twins I can promise you that they will always be under my protection and my men's protection too. All you have to do is tell the truth,_put O'Malley away for life, and in the future if_ we should ever need of anything you could return the favor than. Don't worry bout the letter we will get it out the same way we got it in._

_"So Detective Rizzoli is it clear to say that the man you had a struggle with is here today?" The prosecutor asked._

_Jane sat there and just stared ahead at Doyle's man, it was now clear to her why he was there. So now what was she to do she could lie and have that eat away at her conscious, tell the truth and possibly become a CI for the Doyle mob or she could tell the truth about Shane and Doyle and have a clear conscious but a family in danger. What could she do but choose the only option that kept her family safe._

_"Yes he is, he's sitting right there. his name is Shane O'Malley." Jane said with a gulp and the knowledge that she would never be the same._

Jane dropped her towel to the floor and stood there wide eyed and shaking. What had she done, how could she become an informant for Patty Doyle. Just as she was about to sit she remembered a glass being shattered and heard her name being called.

"Jane...Jane don't come in here there is glass everywhere." Maura said

Jane walked around th other side of the island to find Maura squatting trying to pick up pieces of glass. Jane cleared her throat. " Maura we need to talk."

"Oh Jane is it about earlier cause I really am sorry about that, and I'm kinda busy right now if you can't tell"

"Maura look at me" Jane asked.

Maura sighed and looked up she dropped the towel she was holding and pushed the garbage bin out-of-the-way so she could get closer to Jane. " Jane are you okay you are so pale? Is it your head do you need your pills?"

"I just remembered something and I need to talk to you about it." Jane said

"Come, let's sit on the couch." Maura took Jane by the hand, and walked her over to the couch both sitting in their usual spots as if no time had passed.

"Maura do you remember when I went out for milk and came back all cut up from a tree branch going through my window?"

"Yes, why? wait you remember that...that's great." Maura said

"Yes, well just wait till I tell you, that I wasn't honest with you that night, it wasn't an accident."

"Jane... I knew you weren't telling the truth, I have always known."

"What, you knew? Why didn't you tell me? why weren't you mad?" Jane asked as she stood up from the couch and paced.

"Jane please sit, Please."

"No...I wont sit why would you allow me to live with the guilt of lying to you all this time?"

"Jane you have no right to be mad at me, no right what so ever. I was the one who was betrayed, I was the one who had to question day and night why you would lie to me. Do you have any idea what ran through my mind, what I had to endure every time you left the home. I could never trust you after that, never." Maura said as she began to sob into her hands.

Jane just stared at Maura, how could she be such a selfish idiot. Here she is, placing blame on a woman who had her heart broken, by none other than herself. Jane couldn't stand seeing Maur cry, even more so when it was because of her. She walked over to the couch and sat next to Maur, placing both her hands on her arms, silently begging for Maura to allow Jane to comfort her. Maura slowly put her hands down, her face was soaked with tears. Jane held onto both of Maura's hands, she than kissed every tear on her face, taking her time on each one. Maura closed her eyes giving herself to Jane, cherishing every touch of her lips. Jane pulled away and looked at Maura waiting for her to open her eyes, so she could see the sincerity in her eyes when she apologized.

Maura slowly opened her eyes, squeezing Jane's hands ever so gently. " Jane I.."

"Let me talk first, please. I can't remember everything I did to you yet, but I promise you never had a reason to mistrust me. I'm sorry I gave you reason to think otherwise. I know I can never make the hurt of the past leave your mind, but I can try. I can try till the day I die and every moment in between. Let me love you Maura, Let me make it right. Tell me what you need?" Jane said on bended knees, looking into Maura's eyes.

Maura stared at Jane, the woman she loved for so many years. Listening to every word, soaking up every ounce of truth that was spoken. She knew that she could never turn away from her. " I need you not to hurt me again. The day you left my heart broke, I can't handle that again, I wouldn't survive it."

Jane stood up and pulled Maura up with her. She placed Maura's arms around her neck, than she ran her arms around Maura's waist. She rested her forehead against Maura's and whispered." Let me love you forever, let me into your heart again. I promise I will never ever hurt you again. Please believe me."

Maura brought her lips right up to Jane's but stopped just short of connecting, giving her enough space to say. " I trust you, I love you forever." She than placed her lips on Jane's kissing her tenderly and slow, taking her time to get acquainted with Jane's lips again.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N I have contemplated changing this story for a bit. I started with a plan and due to some personal issues that plan has been lost. If you would like me to continue with the story as is please let me know. If the general consensus is to leave it as is I will. I also wanted to say thank you to all my readers thus far and to come for there continued support I have had some great messages, really encouraging. Please enjoy!**

**I claim no ownership of these characters. Any person/s who may be similar to those i made up are purely coincidental.**

**Chapter** **16**

Jane and Maura remained in each others arms for quite some time neither wanting to face reality. Maura didn't want to face the fact that Jane was sick, and Jane just wanted to forget it all. Jane was the first to pull back, she couldn't let Maura back in to her life without her knowing the truth, or at least the one her mind is telling her. Jane rested her forehead against Maura's and sighed looking into her eye's she thought how innocent those eyes were and how she hated to see hurt in those eyes, but there was no way around this. Jane had to be honest, if they were to move forward she had to put a little more hurt in those beautiful, innocent eyes.

Jane sat back keeping Maura's hands entwined in her own. She knew that this was going to be hard to hear, Jane had a hard time even believing she could do something like this. Although Jane was starting to believe she was capable of anything after the last few days of unwanted, confusing, and hurtful memories. If any one would ever ask her if she could turn her back on everything she held high in this life she would of said she'd rather die first, but here she is an apparent CI for the Doyle mob, an inconsiderate daughter, a vile wife, and a just all around vile person. Those things she couldn't blame on a tumor no matter what the doctors say.

Jane let out a sigh and looked down at their hands " Jane what is it? Please talk to me, we are just beginning to make things right, so please no more lies." Maura said

"There's something I remembered when you broke the glass."

"Okay what did you remember? Something bad?"

Jane looked back up at Maura " I want you to listen to everything I'm about to tell you please. don't interrupt and try not to get mad till I'm done. Can you do that, please?"

Maura just nodded. Jane went on to tell her everything she remembered, nothing was held back. As she went on Maura was showing signs of anger. She slowly released Jane's hands, sat a little straighter, and began to play with a ring on her right hand. Jane could tell the after math was going to be hard to get through, but she went on explaining how she had no choice and it was become a CI, lie under oath, or wait for the day that she was told her family was killed.

"So I'm, I'm done. I've told you everything, is there anything you want to ask?" Jane asked tentatively.

Maura stood up and turned her back on Jane. She stood with one hand on her hip the other was covering her mouth. Jane wasn't sure if she should say something or just wait. Fortunate for her she didn't have to wait long. Maura turned around and stared at Jane, she dropped the hand that was covering her mouth and placed it around her waist. Maura opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, She tried again and she just couldn't get the words out. Maura turned on her hell dropping both arms to her sides making a move to walk away, but Jane jumped up and ran in front of her holding her arms out preventing Maura from walking around her.

"Move out of my way Jane." Maura said on shaky words.

"No"

"Jane move." Maura said a little stronger

"No, Maur I'm not moving until we talk." Jane said as she dropped her arms down by her side.

Maura ran her hands through her hair. "I cant' talk to you right now, please move."

Jane moved to her side to let her pass. " If you go now, we will never be able to come back to one another. Please talk to me, please I'm begging you, please Maur."

Maua dropped her arms in defeat, tears ran down her cheeks. Jane walked up to her and began to wipe her tears away with the palms of her hands. " Its ok to be mad at each other, it's not ok to walk away." Jane whispered.

Maura looked into Jane's eyes and said "where was that advice month's ago?"

"I'm a slow learner." Jane said with a shrug.

Maura reached up and took Jane's right hand in her left, she than procedeed to lead them back to the couch. As they sat Maura was battling her tears, chocking up before she could even speak. Jane saw the woman she loved struggling and it broke her heart to know that she was once again the reason for her pain. With hands still entwined Jane brought them to her lips and kissed Maura's very gently, letting her know that it was going to be ok she wasnt going anywhere.

"Jane I just don't know why you wouldn't tell me this prior to everything going so horribly wrong."

"I wish I had an answer for you,but I don't remember why. I'm sorry, so so sorry." Jane said.

Maura reached for tissue's wiping the running mascara from her face. She stared at the fireplace, willing her eyes to stop betraying her with unwanted tears. "I could of helped." she said still staring at the fireplace.

"Maura what could you have done, I could barely make a choice. I'm sure I wouldn't of wanted you to live with the fear of having a threat to our kids lives or your's everyday." Jane said while placing her hand on Maura's chin turning her head towards her.

"But why, why would my father put you in that situation. He's my father, your my wife, he should have been willing to protect us for that alone." Maura asked.

"I cant remember, but I plan on finding out why soon."

"What does that mean?" Maura asked now holding onto both of Jane's hands

"I'm going to visit dear old dad, and ask for myself." Jane said sternly.

Maura placed scooted closer to Jane and grabbed her face not so gently. "You will not go see that man do you hear me."

Jane pushed Maura's hands away and stood up. "What am I suppose to do Maur, I need answers, we need answers." Jane said gesturing to her and Maura.

Maura stood up in front of Jane. "Jane listen to me I know you need answers and so do I, but this man can't be trusted."

"Maura than help me figure something out, cause with out talking to him I don't see how were going to get any."

"That may not be true."

"What are you talking about." Jane asked

"You had a storage unit."

"Annnd?" Jane asked impatiently

"Who's interrupting now." Maura said

"Really." Jane said with her arms crossed

"Okay, well you had a storage unit when we were married. It was for all the items from your apartment I would not permit you to move in."

"Maura, you made me keep my things in a storage locker." Jane said with a glare

"I most definitely did not, You suggested it. I just did not disagree." Maura said with a sheepish smile

"Ok, so go on." Jane said

"About a month ago a bill came here for the unit, so you must still have it. I think maybe we should look there, you may have put any information in regards to my father in there."

Jane looked at Maura with a growing smile. "You know, you're pretty smart."

"So I have been told." Maura said with a smile of her own.

Jane sat back down with Maura following. They both just stared into the fireplace, both contemplating what to say next. Each of there conversations ended up being a roller coaster of emotions. Neither wanted to be the first to spoil the quiet happiness they ended with. Jane kept thinking of how wonderful it would be to have just lived a life with Maura without all this drama.

Maura sighed and turned to look at Jane "Is there anything else you can remember now that we have talked about it?"

Jane did not look at Maura "No, It's like a word that's on the tip of your tongue, and you now it's there but you just can't for the life of you remember."

"It will come Jane, give your self time." Maura said

Jane growled and threw her head back into the cushions. " God, I'm such a headcase. I finally get the girl and I find a way to destroy it."

Maura turned her head to look over her shoulder at Jane. " Jane on this I don't believe that you had much of a choice as you said. I know I seemed upset, but it wasn't the fact that you became a CI but that you are a CI for Paddy. As for some of your other choices in our marriage well, that can't be explained."

Maura sat Back and was staring at Jane when Jane looked at her and asked a question that has been on her mind a lot.

"Our marriage, wow."Jane said

"Yes a lot to take in when you can't recall it happening." Maura said unaware of what Jane was planning

"You introduced yourself as Mrs. Rizzoli."

"Excuse me?" Maura said rather confused like.

"In the hospital you introduced yourself as Mrs. Rizzoli to the doc." Jane said as she began to play with Maura's empty ring finger on her left hand.

"Yes and your point?" Maura asked with a knowing panic growing inside her.

"Shouldn't you be wearing a ring on this finger_ Mrs._ Rizzoli?" Jane asked with a glare

"Wh..what why...would I, I mean you don't" Maura stammered

Jane sat upright " Come on Maura they'll see your hives from the moon if you continue to lie."

Maura placed her hands over her face and sighed "Alright you got me we are still married." She said in a muffled tone

"You wanna say that again, and this time without the hands." Jane demanded

Maura uncovered her face and slowly sat up turning to look at Jane. " We are still married, I never signed the divorce papers."

"You what? why not, why would you not sign something that you wanted." Jane said in a less threatening manner

"I never wanted a divorce, don't you dare say that. You gave me no other option." Maura said as she now stood up and paced the living room floor.

Jane immediately regretted the words when she saw Maura's reaction. Why does she keep doing this to her she thought, there's only so much pain one can take. Jane sat a little closer to the edge of the couch watching Maura pace. Jane was trying to figure out a way to keep her anger out of this conversation, seeing as she has no idea what went on in their marriage. Who is she to judge something she knows nothing about.

"Maura I'm sorry. Please, just come sit down."

Maura stopped pacing and looked over at Jane, she could see the pleading in her eyes. She walked over to the couch and sat down, but never looking at Jane as she was both embarrassed and infuriated.

"I shouldn't of said that Maur, I have no right to comment on the matter."

"Thank you. I wish you did though, I wish you remembered. It's so hard to mad at you, you hurt me so much. I try to tell myself that your judgment was impaired due to the tumor but I, I just can't sometimes. There are moments when all I wanted to do is just scream and hurt you as much as you hurt me, but what good would that do cause you don't know why I'm yelling at you." Maura said with new tears threatening to appear

"Oh Maur, it doesn't matter if I know why. You will and that's all that matters to me now. Fixing the pain that sits in your heart, where love should be, that's what matters to 's all that matters to me, now and forever."

Maura lost the battle with the tears in her eyes after she heard those words, she began to sob. Jane pulled her into a hug, holding onto her. They sat that way, clutched to each other for what seemed like for ever, until Jane's phone rang.

"Sorry." Jane said as she pulled away.

"No, it's okay it may be Angela." Maura said wiping at her eyes once more.

"Hello...Yeah okay, can't wait...no I'm fine ma, really...yes, see you soon."

"It was my mother, she's heading back with the kids and dinner now." Jane told Maura

"I better get cleaned up." Maura said as she stood from the couch

Jane grabbed Maura's hand and looked up into her eye's. " I'd really like to continue this conversation."

Maura smiled down at Jane "I would like that."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/n So the story shall continue as is Thanks to your great reviews.**  
><strong>I have to apologize in the coming chapters you will her lieutenant Korsak but in chapter 3 he was referred to as captain. That is because as I said I had a different plan for this story. Hope you enjoy, short chapter but much lighter.<br>**

**Chapte****r**** 17**

Jane sat with her fingers pressed into her temples trying in vain to fight off the approaching headache that was being to consume her attention so much so that she hadn't heard her mother and the twins come home. That was until they both jumped on her causing a puff of air to pass her lips. She had to smile at their boisterous laughs even though she was in pain, not only from the headache but also the bruising in her ribs.

"Ma are you excited to see us?" Bella asked.

"Of course I am, I missed you so, so much!" Jane said with a smile.

"Ma you missed the fun again." Jack said.

"I did, I'm sorry. Nonna is a lot of fun Huh." Jane said while winking at Angela.

"It's ok you can come next time, right?" Bella asked

"Of course I will. How bout we all have dinner together every night this week.  
>does that sound good?" Jane asked both children looking back and forth between them.<p>

"Cool." Bella yelled.

"Awesome." Jack yelled simultaneously.

"What are we yelling about, inside none the less." Maura asked as she returned to living room appearing refreshed, but Jane could notice the redness in her eyes from crying.

"I was just telling the kids I'd like to have dinner together as a family every night this week. All of us Ma, Korsak, and Frankie too, when he gets here of course."

Both Angela and Maura glanced at each other with confusion. Jane noticed it of course, but chalked it up to them just being shocked that she wanted to spend that much time with her family. Jane also noticed Maura looking warily at her.

"Okay children let's go get cleaned up for dinner shall we." Maura said with an outstretched arm as if she was showing the kids the way.

Bella kissed Jane on the cheek and ran off to wash up, Jack on the other hand sat defiantly on the couch. Jane looked down at him and than up at Maura noticing the deflated look in her eyes. Jane nudged Jack with her elbow, encouraging him to do as he was asked. He never even looked up at her he just folded his arms and huffed. Jane looked to Maura for an answer as to why the boy was being so defiant, but what she saw made her chuckle. There Maura stood with her arms crossed looking exactly like Jack, the same features and all. Jack was the spitting image of Maura same dirty blond hair, same green eyes,and wait a minute... Jack looks exactly like Maura and Bella looks exactly like her she thought.

Jane was told a lot about them in the hospital but she was never told, and never asked for that matter how the twins were conceived. Now that she thought about it they must have used one of Jane's eggs and one of Maura's. This made her smile from ear to ear, to know she had kids was one thing, but to know you have biological kids is another. She would love them both equally there is no doubt about that, but be able to look into a child's eyes and see your own staring back is amazing she thought.

"Jane...Jane Rizzoli." Maura demanded

"Hmm...Oh, yeah what's up." Jane said with a chuckle, embarrassed to be caught in thought.

Maura glared at Jane. "Could you please not make light of our son's defiance."

Jane elbowed Jackson lightly. " Hey kiddo, please go clean up."

Jackson got up slowly and walked even slower to the bathroom eliciting another chuckle from Jane which she tried to cover up with her hand over her mouth. Maura just continued her glare at Jane, causing Jane to stop.

Maura made her way over to Jane. " I'm not sure what about this situation you find so funny, but I'd appreciate it if you could not laugh while our son is being difficult, especially towards me."

Jane sat up a little straighter smiling at Maura. " I'm sorry it's just hard not to laugh when _our _son who looks so much like you, acts so much like me, Weird huh."

"What?" Maura asked

"Oh nothing it's just something I noticed. Just like I noticed that Bella acts just like you, but looks just, like, me!" Jane said while leaning forward.

Maura sat down on the couch with a thud not looking at Jane. " How...how did you."

Jane cut Maura off. "It doesn't take a genius Maur, there both exact copies of us. In all of our conversations why didn't you tell me?"

Maura finally looked at Jane, her eyes swam with tears. "I did not say anything because I was worried."

"Worried about what?" Jane asked now sitting close to Maura holding her hand.

"When you were in the hospital you had multiple episodes of syncope, and a seizure all of which were brought on by stressful situations. I was afraid of causing another by telling you, you didn't handle it so well the first time." Maura said, a tear escaping her eye.

Jane wiped the tear from her cheek. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Why?"

"We tried for a very long time to get pregnant. One of our options was to use your eggs, but you changed your mind after the procedure to remove your eggs. You said you didn't want a child with your genes that you were damaged goods. I tried to change your mind, But you wouldn't have it. So I went behind your back and used one of your eggs and one of mine for our last try. It worked and you were less than happy when you found out what I did."

"Oh Maura, I'm sorry I put you in the position. You shouldn't have gone behind my back though, there had to be some way we could have worked it out." Jane said as she enveloped Maura in a hug.

"I'm sorry Jane, I was just so desperate to get pregnant. It was our last chance to so I used both eggs to give us better odds. Please forgive me." Maura said.

"Sweetie of course I forgive you, of course." Jane said while rubbing circles on Maura's back.

Angela watched this whole scene play out and she was in amazement at what took place. Her Jane the Jane that she remembered was nothing like the one she saw before her. Jane was loving and tender with Maura, she took the time to find out why she was upset. She didn't jump to conclusions without waiting for answers. She reminded her of the Jane of old days, the one she'd do anything for. She was in awe of how much Jane had changed. she walked over to the two sitting behind Jane and wrapping her arms around the two. This caused all three to laugh. Jane released Maura and hugged her mother telling her that she loved her.

Both kids were now standing at the entrance to the living room. "Adults are so weird." Jack said

"Oh yeah wait till I get my hands on you two." Jane said while jumping up from her seat and running after the twins.

Both children laughed and screamed trying in vain to run from Jane. She quickly caught them and they all fell to the floor as she tickled each one. Maura and Angela looked on, laughing themselves.

"She's back." Angela said while hugging Maura from behind.

"She is" Maura said with a smile.

Okay kids, that includes you Jane. Lets eat." Angela said as she walked towards the kitchen.

Maura walked up to Jane who now stood wrapping her arms around Maura's waist. She kissed her tenderly on the lips. "What was that for." Jane asked.

"For coming back to me." Maura said with another kiss.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N SHORT CHAPTER**

**Chapter 18**

"Wow that was a great meal Ma, you outdid yourself." Jane said while standing to help remove the dishes.

"Jane please stop, go sit with your children. Maura and I'll take care of this." Angela said while she cleared the table.

Jane walked over to her mother and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank's ma." Jane held on to Angela for a little while before she walked in to the living room to be with the twins. The children were fighting over the remote, Jack wanted to watch baseball, and Bella wanted to watch a cartoon that even Jane didn't understand.

"Ok you two stop fighting, I'm sure we can solve this." Jane said with a smile

Both children started in on Jane, giving all the reasons as to why they should be the one to choose. Jane never really saw her self as very maternal so she was at a loss for what to do. Both children were almost yelling trying to be heard over the other. Her headache was getting worse by the minute. Jane reached up to press the tips of her fingers to her temples, She swayed a little as well. Jane had her eye's closed so she hadn't noticed Bella leave. When she sat down on the couch and opened her eye's she was alone and it was quiet.

"Are you ok?" Jack asked

"Geez" Jane jumped she hadn't noticed Jack sitting right next to her.

"Yeah bud I'm fine." she said with her hand on his shoulder.

"Jane are you okay?" Maura asked coming to kneel in between Jane's knees.

"Yeah I'm fine why?" Jane said with what she hoped was a smile conveying that everything was okay.

Maura glared at Jane, she could tell she was in pain,she knew would never admit it though, especially in front of her kids. Maura reached up and placed the back of her hand on Jane's forehead, she than grabbed her wrist feeling her pulse point. After being reassured that Jane was in no immediate danger she relented to Jane's judgement. She looked lovingly in to Jane's eye's asking. "Does your head hurt?"

"Yeah a little, it's no big deal really." Jane said placing her hand over Maura's which was on her knee

"It must be a little more than that if Bela noticed, she came in to the kitchen to get me."

"I just need one of those pills and I'll be ok." Jane said with a weak smile.

Maura got up to get Jane some medicine and water. Bella sat on the other side of Jane, she was now flanked by kids. Jane looked to each of them and sighed. She was going to have to reassure them, after all that's what parent's do, right. Where does she start, she thought. Jane doesn't even know these kids, sure she's met them and talked, but she doesn't really know them. What comforts them, what scares them, what makes their little faces light up with joy. Jane had to learn this all in a matter of days, when Maura got four years to discover all the twins idiosyncrasies, it wasn't fair she thought. None of this was fair, and she was starting to get very angry about it. She could understand why she was mad, but not the amount of anger she felt.

Jane took a couple of deep breath's trying to calm herself down. As if they have a sixth sense towards her, both twins placed their tiny hands on Jane's. This brought tears to her eye's. Jane found herself being comforted by four year olds, why not after all they probably knew her better than Jane know's herself. Maura stood in the doorway to the living room in awe of what she was witnessing. She could feel every emotion Jane was feeling, just by watching Jane's body posture. She saw how calming it was to her to be around the children. Maura had to hold back the tear's, she loved this woman and so did the kids, and they were being robbed of her. This tumor was taking parts of her from them and it pissed Maura off, she vowed right than and there to not let it take any more. She would fight till her last breath.

Jane could feel someone staring, she turned her head looking over her shoulder at Maura. They smiled at each other, both with tears swimming in their beautiful eyes. Maura walked towards Jane handing her the pills and water. She left abruptly, not wanting the twins to see her cry.

Angela saw Maura head towards the guest bathroom crying, she decided to check on her. "Maura, sweetie, are you ok?"

"I'm okay Angela." Maura said trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to break through.

"Oh honey, please talk to me." Angela said through the door.

Angela waited for a bit till she heard the door being unlocked, she opened it to find Maura about to break. Angela stepped in to the bathroom closing the door. She held out her arm's waiting for Maura to come to her, knowing that you can't rush Maura when it comes to being comforted in a crisis. Maura slowly collapsed into her arms sobbing uncontrollably. "I can't lose her, I can't lose Jane. What am I going to do without her." Maura cried

"Shh, she's not going anywhere, not when we just got her back. Shh." Angela said as she rocked Maura rubbing circles on her back. Maura just kept crying, finally letting it all out.

After what seemed like an eternity but was only a few minutes, Maura slowed her crying to a sniffle. She moved away from Angela wiping at the tears that were left on her rosy cheeks. She straightened her clothes and took a deep breath. "Thank you Angela, thank you." Maura said as she grabbed Angela's hands.

"I'm here for you Maura." Angela said

"I appreciate that more than you know." Maura said with her arms wrapped around her waist.

"I know, I know." Angela said as she made her way out of the bathroom.

Maura turned to look at herself in the mirror, what she saw made her sigh. Maura had mascara down both rosy cheeks, eye's red, and shirt stained with tears. She began to wash her face trying to appear less an emotional wreck, more a wife and mother who is prepared for what lies in waiting.

As Maura stepped back into the living room she noticed it was empty, as she looked for clues of there whereabouts she heard giggling coming from upstairs. While she was climbing the stairs to the bedrooms she noticed a light shining through Jack's door that was left slightly ajar. Maura could hear Jane reading the twins a story, but she was using a different voice for each charachter. Maura had to place a hand over her mouth to stiffle the laugh.

"Out of the forest a fierce dragon appereared. Oh brave knight where art though." Jane said using a different voice for each part.

"I don't need a knight to fight a dragon." Bell said while jumping up from the floor that they were all lying on.

"I don't either." Jack said not to be out done.

"Oh yeah well how would you two do against...a, TICKLE MONSTER!" Jane yelled as she attacked both children.

Laughs and screams could be heard throughout the entire home. Maura opened the door watching the scene in front of her made her heart swell with love. It had been far to long without children's laughter in these walls. Jack held Maura responsible for the divorce, he would never blame Jane she's his whole world. She tried explaining that it wasn't anyone's fault that sometimes adults just cant live together anymore, but that doesn't stop the love, it doesn't stop the feelings from being there, it just changes the way they see each other. Jack wouldn't hear of it though, in his eye's Maura took Jane from him. If she loved her she wouldn't do that he would say, If only love were enough she thought.

Maura was so busy in her own musings that she hadn't noticed Jane approach from behind. Jane wrapped her arms around Maura's which were at her side. "Oh no look who I caught, another tickle monster, get her." Jane yelled out

As Maura was being assaulted by tiny little hands doing their best to tickle she laughed. "Payback Jane Rizzoli, you wait!"

Jane whispered in her ear. "Hopefully not to long."

Jane had to hold Maura up as her knees buckled, she laughed at the reaction she caused in Maura. "Uh oh kids I think us tickle monsters have been defeated. Your just to much for us, you win." Jane said as she held up her arms in defeat.

Maura followed suit, she gave Jane a seductive smile and licked her lips. She watched as Jane sucked in her breath. "Two can play" Maura whispered.

"Play what?" Bella asked

"Uh..." Jane was at a loss for words

"Bath time kids." Maura said giggling as Jane stood there flustered.

Maura turned towards Jane and rubbed her hand down Jane's forearm. "Maybe you could use a cold shower."

"Yeah, very cold." Jane said


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Jane walked in to the kitchen more than a little frustrated, but happily so.  
>She was going to enjoy making Maura squirm later.<p>

"Hey Ma, can I help?" Jane asked

"Nope I'm almost finished. Where are the kids?"

"Maura is helping them with bath time, although I was corrected by Bella that she doesn't take bath's she only shower's. What four year old shower's?"

Angela laughed. "Maura's"

Jane joined her mother in laughter. She picked at a dish towel while her mother looked on curious as to what was bothering Jane. She could tell something was Jane never just stood around the kitchen when there was work to be done. She'd rather make herself scarce so as not to be asked to help.

"What's wrong" Angela asked placing the last dish away.

"Hmm, oh, it's nothing."

"Jane I'm your mother, I know when something is wrong, and something is definitely wrong." Angela said with her hands on her hips.

Jane looked up at her mother amazed that even after their huge fight she could just step right back in to the role of devoted mother. Jane wished she could be like her. Things of a motherly nature just came natural to her, Jane didn't know where to even begin.

"It's just...well, the twins are so attached to me it seems. I love that don't get me wrong, but I barely know them. I don't know how to be a mother, not like you. I can be their friend, but how do I be a parent?"

"Oh Janie, I know it's hard not remembering them but just give it time. You cant rush this, you just found out you have four year old twins. No one expects you to be the perfect parent, it's hard to be perfect when their not a surprise, let me tell you. Jane just relax and let them guide you, you'll be fine." Angela finished with her hand on Jane's cheek.

"Thank's Ma. I know I don't say this often, but, I love you." Jane said with a tear escaping

Angela stepped into Jane's space. "I'm gonna hug you know."

Jane sighed with a smile, accepting Angela's hug. Maura walked in ambivalent to what was going on. "I swear those two are getting more and more like..." she trailed off as she saw the two hugging.

"I'm sorry did I interrupt?" Maura asked

"Nope, just a little motherly smothering." Jane said with a wink of her eye.

Angela smacked Jane across the arm. "Well I'm going to head out, Maura do you want me to take the twins for the night?"

"Jane." Maura looked to her for the answer.

"Nah we'll keep them, thank you though." Jane said

"Ok, well give them kisses for me. I'm gonna sneak out, tomorrow night Jane?"

"Yes dinner tomorrow night, please." Jane said as she walked her mother to the front door.

"I love you Janie." Angela said

"Me too Ma." Jane replied

Jane closed and locked the door, sighing as she leaned against it. She brought her right fingers up to her nose as she felt something. As she drew her hand back she noticed blood on the tips of her fingers. She scrambled to the guest bathroom, trying to clean up before anyone saw her. There was no way she was going back to the hospital when there was so much to do. As she turned the water off in the sink she looked up in to the mirror. Why is this happening to her, why is her life being threatened when she just started living. Jane knew what she had before wasn't a life, it was a lie.

"I'd give anything to start over." She whispered.

Maura was getting concerned when Jane didn't come back to the kitchen right away. She decided to go look for her. she noticed a light on in the guest bathroom. Maura walked up to the door placing her hand on it.

"Jane...Are you okay?"

Jane opened the door, tears in her eyes. "I'm ok, just tired."

Maura grabbed Jane by the hand and led her upstairs. She led Jane in to her bedroom, closing the door behind them. Jane was confused as to what was going on but to tired to ask. Maura turned around taking both of Jane's hands in her own. She slowly backed Jane into the bed, sitting Jane down and straddling her all in one swift motion. Maura looked in to Jane' eyes placing both her hand's on her cheeks, wiping away the ears with her thumbs. Maura than placed her hands under Jane's t-shirt, fanning her fingers out over Jane's hips, silently asking for permission.

Jane lifted her arms up while Maura pulled the shirt over Jane's head. Maura traced the scar from the shooting with her left hand, kissing Jane's bare shoulder at the same time. Maura stared to unbutton her cream colored blouse, but Jane stopped her by placing her hands over Maura's. Jane slowly moved Maura's hands to her side, than brought her own hands to Maura's blouse slowly undoing each button. Jane let the garment fall off Maura's shoulders to the floor. Jane brought her face to rest on Maura's chest, reaching around Maura to caress her back. Maura placed both hands in unruly brunette locks. They both sat there holding each other for a moment, before Jane spoke never moving her head still on Maura's chest.

"I'm so, so, so sorry!" Jane said so quietly Maura had to listen carefully.

Maura leaned Jane back on the bed, she slowly slid Jane's pants off her long, lean, legs. Maura than stood unzipping the side zipper of her pant's allowing them to fall to the floor. Maura than crawled up Jane's body, kissing every inch on the way. Maura stopped just above Jane caressing her cheek with her left hand, holding herself up with her right hand. There they were Just as Jane fantasized about ever since meeting the beautiful blonde. Maura slowly brought herself down resting her body along the length of Jane, listening to her heartbeat against the cheek that rested on Jane's chest.

"I need you to promise me something." Maura whispered.

"Anything but that Maur." Jane responded.

Maura let the tears fall from her eyes on to Jane's bare chest. "Please don't ask something of me I can't guarantee." Jane asked Maura.

Maura began to cry, tightening her grip on Jane. "Please don't say it." Maura cried.

Jane rolled Maura over, hovering just over her. "Look at me Maur."

Maura kept her head sideways not wanting to see the truth in Jane's eye's. "_Please_, look at me." Jane quietly pleaded.

Maura turned her head looking into Jane's tear filled eye's. "Please don't say it" she asked placing her hand on Jane's chest, needing to feel every part of her at that moment.

"You need to hear it, just like I need to say it." Jane pleaded

"No..._no_" Maura cried.

"Maura I'm dying, I'm...dying." Jane said with tears dropping down on to Maura's neck.

Maura pushed Jane off of her and paced in front of the bed. "You don't get to leave me again, you, you can't" Maura said with a finger pointed towards a semi nude Jane.

Jane moved to the edge of the bed with her hand out silently asking Maura to grab hold of it. "No" Maura said with a shake of her head.

Jane stood up to go to her. "No Jane, no."

Jane stood in front of Maura looking her in the eyes. "You are not going to make this_ okay_ for me. It's not _okay_, I won't let this happen to you." Maura said pointing her finger in to Jane's chest.

"That's it Maura, yell, cry, hell hit me if you need, but you have to come to terms with this." Jane said with both arms stretched out at her sides.

"No, I, Don't. That's what you do, give up on everything, but not me, not..._me_" Maura said furiously wiping at the tears escaping from her eyes.

"Do you really want to pick a fight right now, cause, news flash that's not going to change the fact **THAT I'M** **DYING!**" Jane yelled.

"**NO**." Maura said as she dropped to her knee's. She bent over wrapping her arms around her waist sobbing.

Jane sat down on the floor placing a hand on Maura's shoulder, which Maura shrugged off. Jane tried to unfold Maura's arm's she shrugged this off too. Jane had enough she grabbed Maura by the arms and lifted her up. Maura pushed Jane away, Jane moved closer. Maura pushed Jane again, this time Jane grabbed Maura's arm and pulled her in to her arms. Maura tried to fight her off, but Jane was to strong.

"I'm not running, I'm here, I need you to be also. Please don't waste time." Jane said while trying to get Maura to stop struggling in her arms.

Maura finally began to allow Jane to hold her. She sobbed into Jane's shoulder, Moving her arms around Jane's back holding on tightly. There they stood crying in each others arm's, both coming to terms with what just transpired. There is no more denial,no more anger, just two broken-hearted woman who are about to lose each other.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N I am so so sorry for the delay, especially after the last chapter. I was unable to get to a CPU due to unforseen circumstances. I promise I wont take this long to update again. To those of you who had a problem with Jane dying, all I ask of you is to read till the end. I didn't put this story under tragedy cause it's not. There will be plenty of angst though. I hope you continue on this road with me, I stated that this is my first Fanfic so mistakes will be made, like not relaying that this is a story of angst and drama. That being said, please forgive me. Please leave your reviews I love to read them no matter the content.**

**Chapter 20**

Jane lays facing the window of Maura's bedroom. She watches the sunrise and wonders why she's never done this before she wished she took the time to have done so many things she took for granted. Jane sets her jaw and swallows the lump forming in her throat, refusing to cry anymore than she has. The blond in her arms shifted slightly causing Jane to smile, this is what she so desperately wanted for so long, Maura in her arms till her last breath. That thought struck Jane as tragically funny, she finally has what she's wanted and time is not on her side.

Jane smiled even more at the irony of it all. Here she lied with the woman she viewed as her soul mate, and they had so little time. So many days wasted, so many moments skipped, but she vowed not to waste one second from here on. Jane would make sure she showed Maura all her love, and all her strength would be there to lift Maura up when it got to be to much. All Jane wanted was to spare her the pain of the coming days.

Jane tightened her grip around Maura, feeling her breath on her bare chest. Maura responded by pulling Jane closer by the waist, also sliding her thigh further past Jane's legs. Jane hadn't looked down wanting to catch every moment of the gorgeous morning sunrise, so she was unaware that Maura was awake.

"Did you sleep at all?" Maura asked Jane, her voice hoarse from all the tears she shed last night.

Jane looked down at the green eyes looking up at her. "A little"

"I dreamt of you." Maura said.

"Yeah, how so?" Jane asked.

"You stayed." Maura responded quietly.

In fact it was so quiet Jane had to strain to hear the response. Jane took a deep breath trying to figure out what to say. What do you say to the one you love to make your leaving easier.

"Maura, I'll never truly leave you. You will see me in our children's eyes. In the many photos we have, and the memories that no one or thing can take away." Jane replied.

Maura tried not to cry. She wanted to remain strong, but her eyes betrayed her, shedding tears on Jane's breasts. "It's not the same. I can't feel you, smell you, or hear the voice that fills me with so much comfort."

Maura sat up, wiping at the tears that lay on her pale cheeks. She looked over her shoulder looking into Jane's beautiful brown eyes.

"Jane I need you to let me try to save you. I need this please let me try. I couldn't, I can't live with myself If I don't. Please say yes, please Jane I need this." Maura begged with tears in her eyes.

Jane sat up running her hands through her hair. She reached for Maura, pulling her into a hug that said so much. Maura thought she knew what Jane's answer would be, so she braced herself for disappointment.

"Ok, ok Maur." Jane said while holding Maura.

Maura pulled back from the embrace, enough to look into Jane's eyes. She placed both hands on Jane's cheeks, she smiled from ear to ear. "Jane are you...are you sure? This means so much to me."

"Fight for me Maura, Fight this evil growing inside of me. Don't waist a second, but in the end, if it doesn't work, If I still succumb to this tumor you need to promise me something." Promise me you wont let it eat you up inside, promise you'll continue to be a mother, daughter, and friend. You have to know that it wont be your fault, promise Maur."

"I promise Jane." Maura said while she leaned in giving Jane a slow and sensual Kiss.

The kiss grew in need, both woman seemed to not be able to get close enough to each other. Their hands caressed every inch of exposed skin. Jane slid one hand on the back of Maura's neck and the other cupped Maura's ass. Maura moaned at the touch.

"Maura" Jane spoke into the kiss.

"Hmmm" Maura responded.

"Maura wait, we...we need to stop." Jane said as she removed her hand from Maura's ass, resting her forehead on Maura's.

"What's wrong...what is it Jane?" Maura asked pulling her head back looking into Jane's eyes for a sign.

"There's this image I have of you and I...together. A perfect image in fact, one that I would love to make a reality, but now...now doesn't feel right. There has been so much sadness, so much we have come to terms with. I don't want those memories to mix with our first time." Jane said

Maura looked at Jane with understanding, than chuckled. "Jane I get it, I do, but it wont be our first time."

"Ok, well the first that I can remember." Jane said with a slight smile.

Maura leaned in giving Jane a loving kiss on the lips. " I will wait forever for you Jane Rizzoli."

Jane reached up caressing Maura's cheek with her right hand. Maura leaned into the touch, closing her eyes and letting the moment wash over her.

"I love you Mr.s Rizzoli." Jane stated lovingly

"I love you More Mrs. Rizzoli." Maura said as she opened her eyes.

Jane and Maura held each other for a little longer, caressing and kissing, just cherishing the moment. There was no cancer and no divorce, only love. They moved to their sides and that's were they remained the rest of the early morning content to just stare at each other and hold hands. After a little while they could both hear the distinct sounds of little feet running down the hall.

"One, two." Maura counted

"Maur." Jane asked confused by Maura's counting.

"Three." Just as Maura said three the door flew open and the twins jumped on the edge of the bed.

"Good morning Ma, Mommy." The twins both yelled

"Oh my, loves you are awfully loud and hyper so early in the morning." Maura said playfully as she sat up pulling the sheet up to cover her naked body.

"What's hy...per?" Jackson asked.

Isabella giggled. "It means lots of energy."

Jane looked to Maura who just shrugged. Even though Bella was the spitting image of Jane, mentally she was all Maura.

"okay, can you get out of bed now." Jackson said.

"Yeah we want pancakes." Bella said.

Jane started laughing. "How bout you two go downstairs, start the cartoons, and we will be down in a sec."

"Ma a second has already passed." Jack said

"ok smarty a couple of minutes than." Jane responded with a chuckle.

"That long" Bella whined

Maura laughed. "Yes that long, now go ahead downstairs please."

"Okay" Bella said

"Fine" Jack stated.

As the twins left both Maura and Jane looked to each other and burst out in laughter. The entire time the twins sat on the edge of the bed Maura and Jane tried desperately to conceal their naked bodies. Both woman were so wrapped up into each other that neither thought to lock the door or go to bed with clothes on.

"We will only have a couple minutes knowing our children so we better get dressed. Maura said with a giggle.

"What no naked pancakes this morning." Jane said seriously

Maura looked to Jane with her mouth open and a horrified look in her eyes.

"It was just a joke maur." Jane said laughing.

"Not a funny one." Maura said rolling her eyes.

"Oh come on it was a little." Jane said while getting up from bed.

Maura threw Jane's clothes at her "Get dressed comedian, our children are waiting."

Jane smiled at the last comment, _our_ she liked the sound of that. "Yes Mam."

Both women walked down the stairs to the kitchen hand in hand. The twins were watching cartoons in the living room. Jane decided before she made her way downstairs that she was going to make breakfast for her family. Maura deserved a chance to relax anyway.

"How bout you go sit with the kids while I fix breakfast." Jane said.

"Are you sure Jane."Maura replied.

"Absolutely, I want to." Jane said with a huge Rizzoli grin.

"Okay but if you start to feel weak or your headache increases you better notify me." Maura said with a stern look.

"I will, I promise." Jane stated with a chaste kiss to Maura's lips.

Maura sat down in the living room and opened her laptop. She wanted to get started on the research into Jane's tumor right away. Jane was in the kitchen, just as she was about to get the ingredients for breakfast, there was a knock on the back door. Jane wondered who could be coming over so early in the morning, figuring it was her mother she opened the door with out looking through the window. As soon as she opened the door a memory came crashing back into her mind.

_"ok, so let's go over it again Joey." _

_"Ugh for the fifth time I now what I'm doing Rizzoli._

_"Really, If you did you wouldn't be coming to me for protection" Jane said angrily_

_Joey was a small man only about five foot six, and maybe one hundred and seventy pounds. He was in his forties, and had no family to speak of except for the irish mafia. So the fact that he was willing to bring them down was not lost on Jane. Joey was one of Doyle's men, although he acted more like a weasel than a man. Jane was putting all her trust in him though, so she had to keep her opinions to herself._

_"ok Joey I need five minutes to get in the office and get what I need. please make sure I have that much time at least." Jane stressed_

_"No problem Rizzoli, I need Doyle to go down as much as you do. The way I see it is your doing me favor so don't worry I'll give you a big enough distraction. Joey stated proudly._

_"Not to big though, we don't need the cops here." Jane said._

_"Just do what you gotta do, and don't forget about me after. Charlie don't take kindly to guys messing with his girls. Joey stated._

_"I got you, Charlie has always had a hard on for me. All I have to do is Bat my eyes and you'll be fine." Jane said with disgust in her voice._

_"Ok there goes Boyle, he just left the office. Now's your chance rizzoli,"_

_"As soon as I'm close to th door start messing with the girls on stage." Jane said_

_"Good luck" Joey said_

"Joey" Jane whispered

"Hey Rizzoli happy to see me." Joey asked while looking around to see if he was followed.

Jane's mouth kept opening and closing like she wanted to say something, but she didnt know where to start. She had so many questions for this man, questions that could get her the answers she needed. Than it hit her, her family is here, This is Maura's home, has he been watching them, how does he know I'm here if not.

"What are you doing here." Jane asked nervously.

"I have been trying to get in touch with you." Joey said still looking paranoid

"I..I have been in the hospital." Jane stated

Joey walked up closer to Jane, she took a step back." Listen Rizzoli, whatever you had planned to use all that information, you better do it soon. I think there on to me, and if I go down so do you." Joey said while pointing his finger in Jane's chest.

"What..whose onto you?" Jane said while swatting his finger away.

"The boss, Doyle. He knows I've been sniffing around. I need you to get your shit together and pull the pin on this. Shit is getting close, you hear me Rizzoli."

"I hear you."

"Good now enjoy your breakfast." Joey said with a smug smile/

Jane grabbed him by his Jacket." Hear this Joey if you ever come round my Family again, you'll wish I handed you over to Doyle. Understand me."

Joey pushed Jane off. "Touchy bout that pretty family of yours I see. Listen I don't want to see you any more than you want to see me, but I'm not going down alone for this. So act fast, real fast Rizzoli."

Joey walked away, leaving a stunned Jane standing in the door way. Jane closed the door and walked over to the kitchen counter, as she placed both hands on the counter to lean she looked down noticing a few drops of blood. Jane realized her nose was bleeding again. Jane tried in vain to clean Maura's white marble counters before she noticed, but it was to late. Maura walked into the kitchen.

"Jane who was at the do.. Oh my, Jane your bleeding!" Maura said as she hurried over to Jane.

"It's ok Maur, It's just a nose bleed." Jane said trying to calm the blond down.

"Here use this towel, pinch the bridge of your nose while I clean up." Maura said a little hurt that Jane was trying to conceal this from her.

"Maur"

"Yes" Maura said whiles till cleaning the counter.

"I didn't want you to worry." Jane said softly

"Jane you can't hide things from me understand. It's not okay, we are in this together." Maura said while staring straight into Jane's eyes.

"I wont hide anything from you again, I promise." Jane said

"Who was at the door." Maura said wanting to move on from this discussion.

"Someone who might have the answers I need. One of Doyle's men." Jane said.

"Here at my home." Maura said with a shaky voice.

"It's ok Maura, he's on my side, I hope." Jane said while looking at the door


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Hello all my faithful readers I'm presently working on a update, but I wanted to let you know it may be another few days.  
>I really appreciate your patience with this. With the holidays here in the states, and medical problems I'm currently going through, I have not been able to give this story my full attention. I apologize for that, it has never been my intent to let this story go so long without updates. I also hate when authors write notes like this, you open it expecting a new chapter and it's just AN. So please forgive me for doing the same, I will make the wait worth it, I hope. Hope you all that celebrate had a good thanksgiving, and to the rest enjoy your upcoming holiday season.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N First I need to thank all that sent their kind words to me, I beyond appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this chapter it's the longest so far. As I have stated before I claim no ownership of Rizzoli and Isles. If this story is in any way comparable to a real life event, person, or place it is purely coincidental. I do claim ownership of this story and do not give permission for its use anywhere else. Warning to any prudish readers this chapter is definitely rated M, Enjoy!  
><strong>

**Chapter 22**

Maura was given little choice in taking over making breakfast. After she saw the nose bleed and found out it was not the first time, she was overcome with emotion. Mostly she was concerned, but she was also fearful that the symptoms were progressing which only meant that Jane was getting worse. Jane had to help steady Maura as she sobbed into her hands. After what felt like forever but in reality was only a couple of minutes, Maura was able to stand on her own, and clean herself up. Jane was ushered into the living room to watch cartoons with the kids while Maura cooked.

The family ate in mostly silence; Jane only ate half of what she would normally put away. Her mind was occupied with the mornings events. The twins attempted to bring Jane out of her mood, but were only semi successful, this caused them to retreat into themselves. They were very perceptive and knew when it was ok to push and when to let Jane be. Maura just looked on with tears in her eyes, there were so many nights that this morning resembled. Jane preoccupied with something, the kids scared to bother her, and Maura biting her tongue, for fear of starting a fight. She couldn't stand the fights towards the end of their relationship, the thought of a fight with Jane made her nauseated.

The doorbell rang and it brought Jane out of her thoughts. Jane looked over at Maura, then the twins and noticed what her mood had done to them. As Maura was placing her napkin on the table and about to stand Jane reached for her hand. Jane looked in to Maura's eyes, she was trying to convey all her regrets with one look. Maura could always read Jane's eyes, so she immediately moved to sit on Jane's lap. Jane wrapped Maura up in a warm, tender hug. Maura put one hand in Jane's hair, and the other hand on her back just between her shoulders. She rested her head on Jane's shoulder placing her lips on Jane's neck.

Jane could feel Maura's ragged breath and could tell she was about to cry. She wrapped her arms around Maura's waist and whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry, I love you, I'm not running, _please_ don't hide behind the pain. I want to...I need to know"

Maura pulled back to look into Jane's eyes. "I wont hide, if you don't run."

"_Never_ again." Jane said.

Maura leaned in giving Jane a tender kiss. Which was followed by the twins both gagging. " ewww." They both said.

Jane and Maura chuckled. "Ewww, what is wrong with kissing." Jane asked

"Everything." Jack replied.

Before Jane could reply the doorbell rang again, causing Maura and Jane to move from there comfortable and safe feeling position. Jane and the kids brought the dishes in the kitchen and Maura went to answer the door.

"Angela, why didn't you just come in?" Maura asked

"And walk in on something like I did the first time you two got together, no thank you!" Angela said as she walked into the home.

"Angela...Jane and I...well we...that was a long time ago." Maura said, thrown off guard by Angela's statement.

"EH HUH They way you two love, it will happen again." Angela said with her hand on Maura's arm.

Maura just blushed, she was by no means bashful when it came to talk of sex, but just thinking about being intimate with Jane made her warm all over. Maura followed Angela in to the kitchen, hoping that Jane would not notice the reddish hue to her cheeks. No such luck as soon as Jane looked up she smiled at Maura knowing there was only one reason Maura blushes like that. Which meant that she was aroused, Jane's smile began to fall. She suddenly wondered exactly what her mother had said to put Maura in such a state. Now that is ewww, she thought.

"Jane how are you?" Angela asked as she approached not sure if a hug would be ok. Jane and Angela had worked through their fight but neither was still sure about how things would proceed from here on. Jane could sense her hesitancy, and closed the distance, wrapping Angela in a bone crushing hug.

"It's ok Ma, Hugs are ok. I'm sorry I ever made you feel that they weren't." Jane spoke into the hug.

Angela sniffed and stepped away still holding Jane's hand, smiling at her never looking away. " I will always be sorry too. but how bout we move on now, huh."

"Works for me." Jane said with a smile.

"Ok, so were are my grand babies? I thought I'd take them to preschool today. Give you two some time alone." Angela said with a wink.

"Angela." Maura said.

"Ma, come on." Jane said with Maura.

Angela chuckled while walking away to find the twins. "I'll whistle or something before I come back."

"Honestly, she is never going to let us forget that." Maura said while leaning against the island.

"Forget what?" Jane asked confused

Maura stood up off the island and walked towards Jane. She slid both her arms around Jane's waist leaning back to look into Jane's eye's. "When we first got together, we...well, we made use of every room in our home. I seem to recall you saying that it was as we were, rabbits."

"Tell me she didn't!" Jane whined.

"Unfortunately I can't. We were watching television when you decided the view between my legs was better than the movie. Your mother walked in, startling both of us. You tried in vain to cover me up but unfortunately she already saw more than I would have preferred." Maura stated biting her lower lip at the end.

"Oh, my, god, I told you it was a mistake to let her live in your guest house. I'm sorry." Jane said resting her head on Maura's shoulder.

"It's okay Jane, she has never mentioned it until today. Your mother can be discreet when she want's." Maura said while rubbing Jane's back.

"We talking bout the same woman here!" Jane said raising her eyebrows.

Maura started to laugh. " It is a rather comical story when you think about it."

"Maura, even if I could remember, I don't think there would ever be a day that story could be considered comical." Jane said with a sigh.

"That's because you're a prude." Maura said while pinching Jane's side than trying to make a quick getaway.

Jane grabbed Maura's wrist pulling her back towards her. "I am not a prude, I just don't feel the need to let every one in on my most intimate moments."

Maura began to play with the hem of Jane's shirt looking down she asked. "And have you had any intimate moments since we have been apart."

Jane just stared at Maura noticing how small she looked, how fragile. It pained her to know that she was the cause."Maur, look at me."

Jane put her hand under Maura's chin trying to get her to look up. "Maur, I can't remember everything, but I do know with every fiber of my being that I would never, ever break our vows. Even if we were supposedly divorced, in my eyes I will always be your wife and nothing can change that. look into my eyes. do you see a lie?"

Maura looked into Jane's eyes and saw the truth, a truth she should have never questioned. She knew Jane better than anyone, and no matter what had gone on, Jane would die before she hurt her like that.

"I'm sorry for asking, I should never have questioned..." Maura was cut off by Jane.

"Maura stop, stop beating yourself up for being human." Jane said followed by a tender kiss to Maura's unbelievably soft lips.

"Hmmmm." Maura hummed.

Jane could feel the warmth in her body pooling at her core. Jane wanted Maura, but also knew that with her mother and children in the house it wasn't the time, so she hesitantly stopped the kiss.

"Don't stop." Maura whined

"I have too, if I don't I am going to have you right here in this kitchen. I don't think our family would appreciate that sight...again." Jane said as she laughed, Maura joining in.

"Here we come." Angela called out.

"Very funny Ma." Jane replied

Angela rounded the corner with both kids following. " Oh wow, you two clean up nice. Hot date's?" Jane asked with a smile.

Maura slapped Jane's arm. "They have to dress up for preschool, It's a requirement."

"What kind of preschool you got them in?" Jane asked.

"The best in all of Mass. You agreed that our children's education was of the utmost importance." Maura replied.

"Yeah but what does education have to do with how they dress? Kids should be in clothes they can roll around in the dirt in." Jane said as she smiled at Jack who was giggling.

Maura gasped at Jane." They will not be rolling in dirt, now or ever."

"Oh come on Maur, there four. Dirt is good for their health, isn't that what you say when you try to get me to go to that stupid mud bath with you." Jane said with her trademark grin.

"That is different." Maura glared

"Yeah, ok." Jane said as she moved to pick both kids up swinging them around. " Lets go find some dirt."

"Nooo." Bella

"Yesss."Jack

"Jane." Maura yelled at the same time.

Jane put both kids down, laughing the entire time. " Ok, no dirt, for now." She said with a wink to the kids.

"Ma your silly." Jack stated.

"Yes she is love, now let's get your coats and backpacks before your silly mother causes you two to be late." Maura said.

"Do you drop them off all the time Ma?" Jane asked.

"Mostly, it helps Maura out." Angela replied with a somber tone. Knowing that Jane was able to read into that statement. For the past few months Jane had been an absentee parent, she was always working, at least that's what she would tell them. Angela started bringing the kids to school so Maura could continue on with her morning rituals. Every one who loved her tried to help where they could, so that Maura would not drown in the chaos of it all. Maura was having a hard enough time taking care of herself never mind the kids and home. There were days right after the split that Angela had to literally drag Maura out of bed. She was falling apart without Jane in her life, Jane truly took a part of her the day she walked away.

"Thank you Ma, I'm so glad that Maura has you." Jane said with tears in her eyes.

"You have me too, Janie." Angela said as she held her daughter, drying the few tears that escaped Jane's big brown eyes, with her thumbs.

Jane smiled at her mother and shook her head as if that would make the tears go back from where they came.  
>"Alright no more sadness, let's get you three off we don't want you to be late."<p>

"Yes lets" Maura said as she walked to Jane wrapping her arm around Jane's bicep.

The family walked outside together, Maura and Jane both assisted the twins with their booster seats. They gave them kisses and waved goodbye as Angela pulled away. Jane led Maura back into the house, closing the door with a sigh.

"What's wrong." Maura asked

"I barely know my own children, Bella had to correct me in the car because I wasn't putting her seat belt on the way I normally do. I just wish I could remember all of it, seat belts, school attire, this damn Doyle thing. It's just driving me crazy Maur." Jane said while walking over to the couch, sitting down and placing her head back into the cushions.

"Ask me something, ask me anything. I can fill in most of the blanks for you Jane, if you let me." Maura replied

Jane turned her head to look at Maura. "Do you still want me?"

"I could never want anything else, let me show you." Maura said with her hand stretched out for Jane to take.

Jane hesitated for a few seconds before she stood and walked over to Maura grabbing hold of her hand. Maura turned and led them up the stairs and into her bedroom. Jane closed the door, Maura had her back turned towards her. Jane stood there against the door watching Maura's body, she was nervous. Jane could tell this by the way her shoulders were slightly slumped and she appeared to be playing with a ring on her finger. Jane walked the few feet to Maura, placing both hands on her shoulders. She smoothed her hands down Maura's arms, grabbing hold of both her hands. Jane rested her head on Maura's shoulders, turning her head so her lips ghosted across Maura's neck. Maura could feel Jane's warm breath on her neck and it sent shivers up down her spine.

Jane whispered into Maura's ear. " Okay?"

"Perfect." Maura replied leaning back in to Jane's hold.

Jane gently turned Maura around in her arms, she kisses her on those beautifully full lips." I want this, I _need_ you. I could wait though, you are worth the wait."

"It's just been so long since I felt your touch, since I have been fully exposed to you. I want this Jane, I'm just a little nervous. Can we go slow?" Maura asked, as Jane continued to kiss her jaw line.

"Slow sounds good, I'm not sure I'm going to even get this right. I don't remember what you like, what you need." Jane said shyly as she looked into Maura's eyes.

"I'll lead, you follow." Maura said with a seductive smile and a moan that has been drawn out by Jane's hands roaming over her body.

Maura started to walk them backwards towards the bed, stopping when the back of Jane's knees hit the bed. Jane let her hands roam over every inch of Maura's body including her soft, round breasts. Maura's moans fulled her desire to feel every bit of Maura's naked body. Jane let her hands slide under Maura's shirt lifting it up and over Maura's head. Jane stared at her gorgeous breasts, needing to taste every inch of milky white skin, needing to know how her nipples will feel between her lips. Maura reaches for the hem of Jane's t-shirt , pulling it over her head. They both stood there smiling and breathing hard.

Jane reached down cupping Maura's ass, she than lifted her up. Maura wrapped her legs around Jane's waist, feeling the warmth of her core on Jane's was almost to much. She let her head fall back as Jane attacked her neck with kisses and gentle bites. Maura moaned at Jane's touch, as much as she missed this it almost felt as she was with another lover completely. Jane was a great lover, but something was different. It was as if Jane no longer had any of the inhibitions that held her back from fully opening her self to Maura. Right now though Jane gave Maura every part of her.

Jane turned and lowered Maura to the bed, she stood up unclasping her bra and letting it drop to the floor. She stared into Maura's eyes watching as her pupils became big with desire. Jane then slowly crawls over Maura's primed body, Maura is already breathing hard, and reaches out for her long-lost lover. Jane removes Maura's bra before she lays next to her, where they kiss and caress, whispering words of love and lust.

Jane positions her body just above Maura's, she slowly lowers herself on to Maura. Their naked breasts claim each other as Jane begins to kiss Maura's jaw line. Maura slides her hands through Jane's abundant and beautiful curls.

"Jane I never want to be without your touch again." Maura moaned.

"You'll never go without again, I love you." Jane said between kisses

Jane begins to kiss every gorgeous freckle on Maura's chest. She than turns all her attention to ravishing the full breasts before her. Jane places one nipple in her mouth, gently stroking it with her tongue at first. Than claiming the tought nipple in between her teeth gently nipping and licking it. While her tongue and teeth paid special attention to her right breast her left hand massaged the left breast, every so often rolling her nipples between her fingers. Jane switched breasts making sure that neither was left untouched by hand or mouth.

Maura's moans began to fill the room. Jane was in awe of how beautiful and needy they sounded. Jane made her way down to Maura's waist kissing all of the skin she came in contact with en route. She slid her hands under Maura's pant's and panties pulling both off with a fluidity that caught Maura by surprise. Jane stood and removed what clothing she had left on as well. Jane looked into Maura's eyes as she crawled over her like a lioness ready to strike. Jane moved her hand over Maura's moist folds. She than spread her lips apart granting her full access. Jane hovered over Maura holding her self up on her left elbow, as she placed a finger tip just in the opening of Maura's core.

Wetness began to pool around Jane's finger. she swirled her finger in the wetness collecting some to use on Maura's hard clit. She glided two fingers over her clit.

"Jane" Maura moaned.

"Let go Maur, let go of all your thoughts. Just be here with me, be here nowhere else." Jane breathed

Jane began to kiss Maura's neck as she kept her fingers busy on Maura's extremely wet core. As she slid her fingers into Maura's core she watched in total bliss as Maura threw her head back and groaned out an expletive. Jane made a mental note to make sure she pointed this out the next time Maura admonishes her for language. Jane moved her lips to Maura's full silky soft lips, They tasted of fruit and honey. Jane slid her tongue across Maura's lower lip asking or permission to enter. As Maura opened her mouth giving herself over completely to Jane. Jane' tongue entered and danced across Maura's mouth.

Moan's filled the air along with the sounds of Maura's wet core being teased by Jane's fingers. Maura placed one hand on Jane's ass and another on the back of her neck. She flipped them over, Maura straddled Jane linking Thier core's.

"I want to come on you." Maura moaned

"Yes please, please come for me." Jane groaned

Maura's movements were slow at first but as her desire grew so did her thrusts. Maura ground her core into Jane's, feeling all of Jane's wetness mix with hers. Jane cupped Maura's ass with one hand and held her breast in another. Maura placed both Hands on Jane's breasts giving her something to push-off of. As Maura's hips moved the wetness of their cores could be heard. Jane loved every second of it. Jane need to feel closer than they already were, so she sat up never disturbing Maura's movements against her. She lifted maura just enough to slide three fingers in to Maura.

"FuucK, Fuck me Jane I'm going to come all over you." Maura yelled

"Fill me with your come Maur, show me how good I feel inside you."

Maura placed both hands on Jane's shoulders quickening her pace. with her hips. She closed her eyes as she could feel her climax building. Maura had her head buried in Jane's shoulder with her eyes shut. Jane wanted to watch her come undone.

"Don't hide, I want to watch you, look at me." Jane demanded.

Maura lifted her head up and looked into Jane's eyes she wrapped one arm around Jane's neck the other she slid down and into Jane's core. Jane's mouth dropped open and she growled. Jane then kissed Maura fiercely as she could feel her own climax building. Both woman were inside of each other, Maura continued to thrust her milky white hips into Jane's core. Maura pulled away from the kiss in time to look into Jane's eyes as she reached climax.

"Fuuucckk, Jane."

"Yes, Let go Maur, Come on me. I'm going to come too." Jane said with ragged breath.

"Come with me, come...with...me." Maura screamed as she reached the peak of her orgasm.

Maura thrust her hips into Jane one last time, Jane curled her fingers up further into her gspot. Jane could feel Maura's walls tightening around her fingers. They both felt a rush of fluid that now rested in their palms. The two woman sat there trembling and panting for air, never looking away from each other. Both woman were in awe of what they just saw and felt. to look into ones eyes at the exact moment of climax is to see them at their most vulnerable and most beautiful. As both woman began to come down from their highs, Jane noticed that Maura looked a little sad. Jane knew know that the ecstasy had gone, Maura had gone back to thinking of Jane's cancer, of her lying, and Maura's anger.

"Don't" Jane said

"What?" Maura asked.

"For just a little while longer don't think, just be here, with me in this moment. Far away from anything that can hurt us, be here with me." Jane said

"I don't know if I can." Maura said while looking down.

"What do you see in my eyes, what do you feel in my touch?" Jane asked while leaning her head down trying to get Maura to look up.

"I see and feel everything I need in my life forever." Maura said while looking back up at Jane.

"Tell me."

"I see your love for me, your want. I see the strength that you have, but feel the vulnerability you know I need." Maura said softly

"Hold on to that than, hold on to the _happiness_ not the _sadness_. I'm here right now, I'm here with you and I'm not going away. So please don't waste any time with thoughts of sadness, or the past. Hold on to my love and strength, I need you Maura. I need all of you if I'm gonna have any kind of chance, I need you to be strong as well, I know I should have treated you better, I should have loved you better, But I'm here now and I will make things right by you I promise with all that I am." Jane said as she rubbed circles on Maura's bare back."

Maura pulled back and placed both her hands on Jane's cheeks."For the first time in a long time I trust you. I trust you completely, and will follow your lead. _Together_ we can make us right again, _together_ we will win."


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

"Would it be to much, to ask to stay in bed all day" Jane asked as she held Maura tightly from behind.

"Hmmm, as wonderful as that sounds, we will need to get the kids at some point." Maura responded.

"I could always ask my ma to take them for the night." Jane said with her trademark Rizzoli grin.

Maura pulled Jane's arm tighter around her midsection, it was as neither could get close enough. Maura had gone so long without this woman's touch that she couldn't foresee letting her go anytime soon. Life had to keep moving though, even if she wanted to honor Jane's request. Maura wanted to stay here in Jane's arms, to feel her touch, taste her kisses, and smell her want. Maura wanted to forget about everything that had happened and that was to happen, she just wanted to be with the woman she loved more than her soul could bare. There were days that it hurt so much to love Jane, it hurt to know that all it would take is one word from this gorgeous woman and she would crumble and die. There wasn't any other way to live though, because to live without Jane would be a life not worth living.

Maura turned in Jane's arms kissing her passionately on love swollen lips. " I will stay with you, wherever you are, forever."

"Is that a yes?" Jane said with a smile and kiss.

"That's a yes." Maura said as she rolled over on top of Jane.

Jane and Maura stayed in bed for another couple of hours loving each other, and letting time stand still. Jane called her mother and asked her to take the kids for the evening, Angela agreed but not without knowingly asking why. This caused Jane to groan and hangup on her mother. By early evening both woman finally made their way downstairs for sustenance of a different kind. After a quick and healthy meal, the women returned to their oasis. Jane led Maura towards the bathroom, turning the water on while kissing her way down Maura's body.

Maura grabbed Jane's hand's and walked into the shower closing the glass door behind them. Maura ran her hand's up Jane's arms, along her collarbone, up her neck, and through her thick brown hair. She pulled slightly revealing more of Jane's neck, which is exactly what Maura's lips needed. Maura ran her lips and tongue across Jane's neck sucking gently on her pulse point, being careful to not leave a mark. Jane began to let her hands slide over Maura's perfectly toned ass, squeezing each cheek when Maura bite down on her shoulder. Jane turned Maura around having her face the now fogged up glass door, Maura placed both hands on the glass. Jane slowly brought her hands from Maura's ass to her core, letting her fingers slide through wet lips. Maura began to pant and spread her fingers across the glass, she leaned her head back on to Jane's shoulder. Jane continued to work Maura over with fingers determined to bring her to the edge.

"OH. HMMM yes I love you Jane." Maura panted.

"I will always, love you more." Jane replied never abandoning her position between Maura's legs.

Maura brought one of her hands to Jane's, guiding her inside. Jane began to pump three fingers inside Maura's core, holding Maura up with the other hand, holding firmly on to Maura's firm breast's. Maura began to match the pace of Jane's hand with her hips, placing both hands against the glass again. Jane reached up turning Maura's head towards hers as she could feel her walls tightening, placing her lips on Maura's swallowing up her cries of ecstasy. They remained that way for some time in each others arms, enjoying the feelings of love and want. Before the water could run cold Maura began to wash both their bodies, enjoying the little moans coming from Jane's mouth as she soaped up her primed body.

"Come on, let's get back to bed I'm hungry." Maura said seductively.

Jane tilted her head and looked confused for a second, until realization hit her and she began to smile. " I have just the thing to satisfy that appetite of yours."

"Hmmm, I don't doubt it." Maura purred

As morning light began to filter in to Maura's bedroom, she stretched groaning at the pleasurable pain that was brought on. The memories of hours on end of love-making came pouring in to her beautiful mind. She smiled to herself, than she realised that when she stretched she didn't feel Jane. Maura turned her head looking to Jane's side of the bed and felt an emptiness. Jane was gone, she wasn't in the bathroom, the door was wide open. Maura sat up straining to hear any noise that would indicate to her where Jane could be. She could hear faint sounds coming from the kitchen, Maur climbed out of bed grabbing her robe on her way out of the bedroom. As she rounded the kitchen corner she could hear Jane whistling, she stopped just shy of the kitchen doorway. Here she had a perfect view of Jane dancing and whistling to a song on the radio, she looked healthy and peaceful. Maura giggled at the sight before her, she could no longer stay away she made her way in to the kitchen reaching out for Jane. Jane pulled Maura in to her arms for what started out as a slow dance, than became more energetic. The two woman danced and laughed with each other, neither could recall feeling so light.

Jane pulled Maura into a kiss, holding her around the waist. "Good morning gorgeous."

"A very good morning indeed." Maura said in to the kiss.

"I'm gonna make breakfast than we can pick up the twins at Ma's." Jane said as she walked back towards the stove.

"Can I help." Maura asked as she stood with her hip against the island.

"Nope, you just relax." Jane said as she looked in to Maura's eye's smiling.

Slowly Jane's smile began to falter. " Jane, what's wrong." Maura asked as she stood up straight.

"I love yo..." Jane slurred as she fell to the ground convulsing.

"JANE.." Maura yelled as she ran to Jane's side.

Maura knew Jane was having a seizure, she rolled Jane on to her side and tried to make sure she didn't injure her self on anything. Blood began to run out of the side of Jane's mouth as she shook. Maura cried out Jane's name over and over again. When it became apparent that Jane's seizure was coming to an end Maura scrambled to her feet, reaching for the phone.

"911 What's your emergency?"

"I..I need an ambulance my..my wife had a..a seizure." Maura cried.

"Does our wife have a history of seizure's.?"

"No...She..she has a brain...a brain tumor." Maura felt sick to her stomach saying those words out loud.

"We are sending help Mrs. I need you to stay calm and tell me if she's breathing."

Maura looked to Jane and was actually scared to walk over to her and check her breathing. What would she do if she wasn't, did she have it in her to do something about it. As she got closer she could see that Jane was breathing but it was very labored.

"Ye...yes..she is." Maura said

"Help is on the way."

That was the last thing Maura heard as she hung up the phone, she needed to feel Jane. She sat down and cradled Jane's head in her lap, running her hand through Jane's hair. " It's going to be okay, you are going to be okay, you hear me Jane. You can't leave me, you just can't. It's going to be okay, It's going to be okay."

**A/N I know, cliffhanger. I apologize but it needed to be done.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N When I first decided to write this fiction I never could of imagined it would have been received so well. Thank you for your kind words, constructive criticism, and following/fav's. As I stated before I have a medical issue that takes up much of my time. It can be very depressing, but reading your reviews and knowing that I am writing something that people care about brings me some joy. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**Chapter 24**

Maura paces the floor of the family waiting room, eager to hear news of Jane's condition. Angela sat in a chair watching the worried woman in front of her.

"Did they say how long they'd be" Angela asked.

"No, they only said that a doctor would come and talk to us as soon as Jane was stabilized." Maura replied while continuing to pace.

Angela's knee began to bounce, a nervous habit she's had since childhood. When she received the call from Maura she dropped the kids off at Preschool and rushed over, only to find a frantic Maura yelling at the charge nurse. After she managed to calm Maura down they were taken to the family waiting room to wait for news of Jane's condition. Neither woman was happy about waiting, but understood that Jane needed the staff's attention more right now.

"Frankie's plane landed, I told him to come here right away. He needs to be here right?" Angela asked

"What...oh yes Frankie. I'm sure Jane would love to have him here." Maura replied ignoring what Angela was really asking.

"I just got her back I can't lose her now" Angela stated while her voice cracked and tears dropped from her eyes.

Hearing the defeat in Angela's voice angered Maura. She had no plans on giving up on Jane, and could not handle anyone who would. She stopped pacing and looked straight into Angela's eye's so there could be no misunderstanding of her words.

"Look at me Angela... Jane is going to be okay. Jane has a family to come home to, a long life to live, and I will _not_ tolerate _you_ or anyone _else_ who will talk as if she is dying. Furthermore it does Jane no good to have anything but people who will help her with the upcoming fight. So if you can not pull yourself together long enough to show Jane nothing but optimism, I can not allow you to be around." Maura stated, wrapping her arms around her self at the end hoping to feel some of the strength she had tried to exhibit.

Angela stared at Maura with her mouth open, suddenly at a loss for words. Never has Maura spoken to her like that, she hadn't expected her to react so harshly. Angela tried to hold her tongue before she spoke, so as not to say something she would regret. Angela knew that Maura was hurting and scared, it washed over her the moment she laid eyes on Maura. Angela also knew that Maura had said nothing that wasn't true, she needed to be strong for Jane. Angela needed to be a mother, a mother who will protect her daughter at any cost.

Angela stood up and walked over to Maura cautiously placing her hands on Maura's shoulders, waiting for a sign that her touch was welcomed. When Maura made no attempt to move away Angela pulled Maura in for a hug, rubbing circles on her back.

"I will be strong enough for the both of my daughters. You can relies on me sweetie, I'm so sorry I allowed myself to give up hope, never again." Angela said.

Maura allowed herself to be comforted, to be weak for just a moment. Jut as she was about to speak her phone began to ring.

"Dr. Rizzoli." Maura said as she cleared her throat

"Hello Dr. Rizzoli, my name is Joyce. I am Dr. Apner's assistant, she asked me to return your email."

"Thank you for calling." Maura replied.

"Yes, well from what you wrote it appears that the matter is somewhat urgent, this has gained my employer's attention."

"It is, even more so now. Jane, my wife, whom I spoke of has had a seizure this morning. I am waiting for news on her condition." Maura stated as she walked over to the window looking down at the park below.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Your wife's tumor sounds to be progressing rather rapidly."

"unfortunately so." Maura said as she closed her eyes fighting back the tears.

"Dr. Rizzoli you understand that the drug is still only in its trial stage. A favorable outcome can not be guaranteed, or even anticipated at this point." Joyce stated.

"I am fully aware that there can be no certainty that Jane will benefit from the drug, but if you could please let Dr. Apner know that Jane is the ideal candidate for the trial. She is strong, has no other medical history, young, and willing to do whatever it takes to live. I believe that both Dr. Apner and Jane can both benefit from her being part of the trial." Maura stated with a crack to her voice.

"Jane is or are you?" Joyce asked

"Excuse me." Maura said confused by the question.

"Dr. Rizzoli it has been our experience that family members are willing to do whatever they can to prolong their loved ones lives, even if the patient is ready to let go. I only ask this because the drug Dr. Apner is researching has some horrible side effects, effects that you will not have to go through, Jane will. Do you understand?"

"I do, and I assure you that as much as I want Jane to live a long and full life, I would never willingly put her through this without her permission and understanding of what it entails. Please I'm begging you, give Jane a chance, she wants this as much as I do. Jane needs this, please." Maura said holding back the tears that stung her eyes

"...Okay, I will email you our address please have Jane's medical records sent over." Joyce said.

"Thank you, you have no idea what this means." Maura said with a smile and allowing a few tears to fall.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves' here Dr. Rizzoli, Dr. Apner still has to make the final decision. I will do what I can on my end, but please be cautious on giving Jane to much hope right now."

"I understand, thank you Joyce!" Maura said as she hung up.

"What's going on Maura?" Angela asked.

"I called in a few favors with people that the Isles foundation has helped, and I found a Dr. who has done some very promising research and trials on a drug that may shrink Jane's tumor. There is no guarantee it will work, but if we can get Jane on the trial there may be a chance that this nightmare will be over soon." Maura said with a smile and while wiping away the few tears that had escaped.

"Oh my god sweetie, that's wonderful news, wait till Frankie hears." Angela said

"No Angela you can't tell Frankie yet." Maura said nervously.

"What, why not."

"I have yet to tell Jane. I would like her to hear about it from me so I can explain it to her in full detail." Maura said while walking closer to Angela.

"OK, but just for a day, so you better talk to Janie about it right away." Angela said with a glare.

"I will, as soon as she is alert enough."

Just than a doctor walked into the waiting room. "Are you the family of Rizzoli?" She asked

"Yes I'm her wife." Maura stated, not missing the look Angela had given her at that statement.

"I'm her mother." Angela said.

"Please sit...Jane is stable for now. She had a grand maul seizure, a seizure that was no doubt brought on by her tumor. I paged Dr. Becher, he is on his way in. It took me a while to come see you because we ran another CT scan to rule out any bleeds." The ED doctor said.

"What did it show?" Angela asked on the edge of her seat.

The doctor never took her eyes off Maura when she said this next sentence. "There was no bleeding, but the tumor has grown. So much so that we would like to keep her here, Dr. Becher would like to do the surgery first thing in the morning."

"He..he thinks it's that serious." Angela asked.

"Yes he does, and I agree."

Maura just sat there listening to the words that came from this beautiful woman's mouth, wanting nothing more than to scream. How could the tumor have grown, and that fast as well. What did this mean for Jane's chances at a full recovery, there were so many questions Maura had yet she couldn't open her mouth to ask any of them. Maura just sat there and listened and nodded, fighting the urge to run. Angela sensed Maura's pain and trepidation, taking over the conversation for her.

"Can we see her?" Angela asked as she grabbed Maura's hand.

"Yes you can but just know that she is pretty out of it. Between the drugs we gave her and the normal after effects of a seizure, she most likely wont be able to talk to you tonight."

"Yes we understand, thank you doctor." Angela stated.

The ED doctor shook Angela's hand and left after telling them what room in ICU Jane was in. Angela sat there for a few moments trying to let everything that was said sink in. As she looked to Maura she noticed the same blank stare on her face that had been there since the doctors first words. She didn't know if she should leave her alone or ask her to accompany her to Jane's room. She was grateful for Frankie's interruption, he had rushed into the room as if it was on fire. Out of breath and sweating he came to his mother's side as she still sat holding Maura's hand.

"Ma is...is she?" Frankie asked.

"Janie is going to be okay, Frankie." Angela said as she looked at her son with tears in his eye's

"What happened?" Frankie said.

"She had a seizure, the tumor is growing, but her surgeon is going to take care of it tomorrow and your sister will be fine." Angela said with a stoicism Frankie has yet to see.

"Maura honey why dont you go see her first, we will join you in a bit." Angela said as she squeezed her hand.

Maura nodded her head and walked out of the room feeling slightly upset at her bad manners, she never even greeted Frankie. All that was on her mind at the moment was Jane though, she had to see Jane and make sure she was alive. As she walked towards the elevators it felt as though she was trying to run in sand, time was going so slow. Her heart raced and her mouth ran dry. Maura was afraid if she didn't get to Jane soon she was going to have a panic attack, but just as her thought were beginning to consume her she reached Jane's room.

Maura opened the door and let her eyes adjust to the dim lighting. She made her way to Jane's bedside, immediately grabbing hold of Jane's hand. Maura whispered to Jane that she was here and would be there when she woke up, wiping away tears with her free hand. Maura sat on the edge of the bed rather than the chair wanting to be as close to Jane as possible. As she stared down at Jane she noticed a small smile forming on Jane's face.

"Whatever your dreaming about must be good." Maura stated.

"Hmmm it..is...it's bout...you." Jane stumbled out.

"Sweetie your awake." Maura noted.

"I...think so." Jane said with a smile eyes still closed.

Maura let a small smile grace her face as well. "Jane your in the hospital, do..do you remember what happened?"

"Ugh no, why am I here." Jane said finally opening her eyes halfway.

"You had a seizure this morning." Maura said as she rubbed her thumb over Jane's hand.

"A...why?" Jane said now fully alert.

"Your tumor Jane, It's growing." Maura said sadly.

Jane stared at Maura and smiled squeezing her hand. "Maur, it's gonna be ok."

"That's the problem Jane, I'm not so sure it is anymore." Maura said as she began to cry.

Jane reached up wiping Maura's tears off her soft warm cheeks. "Everything is going to be ok, Maur."

"But..." Maura started to say.

"It's...going...to..." Jane started looking to Maura to finish.

"Be okay." Maura said as she leaned down to place a kiss to Jane's lips.

"I'm getting sleepy again, stay with me?" Jane asked as her eyelids became heavy.

"Now and forever." Maura said as she kissed Jane once more.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N This will be the last update until after the holidays, sorry. To those who celebrate hope you had a happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. to those who don't enjoy the rest of the year and may the new year bring each of you happiness and good health!**

**Chapter 25**

Both Maura and Angela were awaken by Jane's cough's. Maura was asleep in a chair by the edge of the bed so she was on Jane within a second.

"Jane are you okay?" Maura asked as she stroked Jane's pale cheek.

"Throat is dry." Jane whispered

Maura looked to Angela who walked over to Jane's tray pouring water in a styrofoam cup with a straw for Jane. She handed it over to Maura who helped Jane take a few sips from the cup.

"Better?" Maura asked.

"Yes, thanks." Jane said a little louder now that her throat had been lubricated with the cold refreshing water.

"How are you feeling, Janie?" Angela asked

"I'm ok, sore but ok." Jane answered.

"You had a seizure Jane, they tend to leave you feeling very sore." Maura stated.

"I cant remember anything past waking up this morning. What time is it?" Jane asked.

"It's nine pm, you wont remember anything about today's earlier event's, unfortunate side effect of the seizure." Maura said

"Great one more thing I can't remember." Jane huffed.

"We should probably let the nurses know your awake." Angela stated.

"Yes, Angela would you mind doing so. I would like a minute alone with Jane if you don't mind." Maura asked.

Angela squeezed Jane's other hand. "Sure Maura, you two need some time. I'm going to let Frankie know she's awake too."

Jane smiled in appreciation to her mother, Maura never took her eyes off Jane. Soon after Angela left the room Jane spoke.

"So, what's wrong?" Jane asked.

"Nothing is wrong, I just needed some time alone with you." Maura said

"Hives, Maur." Jane grinned.

"That and I need to tell you that I made contact with a doctor who is researching a new drug that has some very promising outcomes. I am trying to get you on the trial, that is if, you are willing." Maura said with a bit of hesitancy.

"Why do I feel like there should have been a but in there." Jane said glaring at Maura.

"There are some serious side effects to the drug, effects that would be hard to endure." Maura stated.

"What type of side effects?" Jane asked.

"Severe gastrointestinal effects, Severe muscle contractions, spontaneous pneumothorax, and irregular heart rhythm's. " Maura stated matter of factly.

"English Maur." Jane huffed.

"Sorry, You will have a severe upset stomach, muscle cramps, and chances of your lungs collapsing, also an irregular heart beat. All of which will require you to be hospitalized for observation." Maura said sadly.

"Well, that's all...pfff no problem." Jane joked.

"Please be serious." Maura said quietly.

"Maura, If this drug gives me a chance at a long life with you and our kids. I would walk through hell to get it, I'll do anything for a chance." Jane said while lifting Maura's hand's and placing her lips to them.

"Are you absoulutley sure, it will be very hard on you, and I." Maura said that last part in almost a whisper with her head down.

"Maura, sweetie, I can handle anything but seeing you in pain. If we do this I need you to talk to me, tell me when it's getting to be to much, hold nothing back. We can do this but we have to do it together." Jane said while lifting Maura's head up with her hand on her chin.

"I can do that, if you keep talking to me as well. When I ask how you are doing I need to hear more than, _I'm okay or_ _ I've been better. _ I need to know whats going on at all times so I don't panic, thinking the worse." Maura stated.

"Deal." Jane said as she held her hand out waiting for Maura to shake it.

Maura grabbed hold of Jane's hand and shook it, she than sighed. " I guess there's nothing left to do but wait for the call."

Jane chuckled. "That's going to be the hardest part of all this."

Maura scooted closer to Jane on the bed and placed a tender kiss to her lips. Jane ran her left hand through Maura's hair, using the right to hold on to Maura's waist. Maura pulled back resting her forehead on Jane's. " I love you Jane."

"I love you more." Jane said with a smile.

"Not possible." Maura smiled.

"Hmm there are ways to prove my point."

"Oh really, such as." Maura asked.

Jane began to lay the bed flat causing the top half of Maura's body to fall down on top of her. The two began to laugh, Maura lifted her body up on her elbows. " I don't believe you are in any condition to continue down this path."

"You may be right, but it would be awesome to try." Jane said as she grabbed Maura's ass.

"Jane, The nurse will be entering the room at any moment." Maura admonished.

"Good than she won't get any ideas during my sponge baths." Jane winked.

Maura slapped Jane's arm. "The only person rubbing you down with a sponge better be me."

"Is that an offer?" Jane questioned with a grin.

"Hmmm that depends."

"On?" Jane said with a tilt of her head.

"You being nice to the staff."

"Oh man, come on Maur, you know I can't promise that. How bout something simpler like, a miracuolus recovery." Jane said. while rubbing her hand up and down Maura's back.

"Jane, really, please be nice. They are being really nice and letting me stay in here with you. If you alienate all the staff I will be lucky to get a phone call through to you." Maura said as she began to sit up keeping her arms on either side of Jane.

Just as Jane was about to protest Maura's change of position a nurse walked in to the room. "I hear our patient is awake."

"She is and besides some soreness throughout my body I feel pretty good." Jane said looking at the nurse noting how young she looked.

"That's good to hear, we can probably stop your I.v for now and maybe getting you up for a walk will help ease away some of the soreness you are feeling." Nurse Abby stated.

"Oh that sounds so good, first stop will definetly be the bathroom though." Jane laughed.

"Great cause we are going to need a urine sample to test for pregnancy before your surgery tommorow." Nurse Abby stated.

"Surgery?" Jane said raising her eyebrow, looking at Maura.

"Yes Jane, I hadnt had the chance to discuss that with you yet. Dr. Becher want's to perform your brain surgery tommorow." Maura said as she stood holding on to Jane's hand.

"Why tommorow? I thought I had a couple of weeks." Jane said a bit panicked.

Nurse Abby saw the hesitation on Maura's face, and knowing how delicate a situation this was she decided to jump in and help Maura out. "Jane, first let me properly introduce myself. My name is Abby and I will be your nurse till the morning. When you were brought in this morning you had a CT scan to make sure there were no other issues going on that would have caused your seizure. The doctor's noted a growth in your tumor, a sizeable growth in fact. Due to this Dr. Becher scheduled you for surgery tommorow morning. It's critical that they get in there soon and try to remove the tumor before any further damage is done."

"I have pressing issues that need to be handeled before the surgery, that's why I asked him to wait the first time." Jane said now releasing Maura's hand and running her hands through her hair in fustration.

"Jane that was before you had a seizure and repeated nose bleeds." Maura said

"Maur I need to take care of things, make sure that if anything happens you and the kids are safe." Jane looked in to Maura's eyes silently begging her to understand.

"Jane please don't do this, you need this surgery, we will be okay, no matter what." Maura couldn't actually say, if anything happens to you. It would be to painful.

"UGH...I'm going to need a day at least. One day to get things taken care of, this isn't negotionable." Jane said no getting angry.

"I think you should really talk to Dr. Becher hear what he has to say." Nurse Abby said.

"It wont matter, Maur it wont matter, you know this." Jane pleaded for Maura to be on her side with this decision.

Maura folded her arms and glared at Jane. "One day Jane, that's all!"

Jane knew she couldn't put the surgery off any longer, and the from the look Maura was giving her she knew it was going to happen no matter what. "Scout's honor" Jane said with three fingers up.

"intreasting thing about that phrase." Maura said with a straight face.

"Really Maura." Jane said as she rolled her eye's.

Maura began to chuckle, nurse Abby just looked back and forth between the two woman. "Okkkay...so Ill let Dr. Becher kmow you want to wait. He will probably come talk to you soon, anything I can do for now."

Jane just shook her head no. After Abby left Jane looked to Maura who still stood up with her arms wrapped around her self. "Come lay with me, look no more wires." Jane said as she moved her hand up and down her body, showing that nurse Abby removed her heart monitor and I.v.

"I shouldn't." Maura said with her head falling down.

"With me Maur, I need you to be with me." Jane said feeling scared that Maura would eventually run.

Maura sighed, she than walked over to Jane's bed. She sat down then lay on her side next to Jane waiting for her to Cuddle up next to her. She didn't need to wait long, Jane lay next to Maura breathing in the scent of her hair. As Jane placed her mouth to Maura's ear she whispered, "I love you."

Maura let her eyes fall shut at the moment Jane's words hit her ears. "I love you more."

"I'm gonna need to talk to Frankie, get him to go to the storage locker. I need him to find out what I got on Doyle." Jane said holding on to Maura knowing that she would try to move at hearing his name.

"I need you to not get in to this right now Jane. Your going to need all your strength to fight this, not putting it on a man who does not deserve our attention." Maura said as she tried to sit up.

"I can't focus my energy on fighting when I know there could be a chance to put he and many others away for a very long time. This is our chance to be free of that mad man once and for all, please understand this." Jane loosened her grip on Maura allowing her to turn in her arms.

Maura looked in to Jane's eye's and placed her hand on her cheek stoking it with her thumb. " I love how protective you are Jane Rizzoli, but if I see this affect you in any way, you are done."

"Of course." Jane said with a gentle kiss.

Maura sat up when there was a knock on the door. She straightend her clothes out before saying "Come in"

Frankie walked in hesitently having not seen his sister in months seeing her like this now was a bit jarring. The last time Frankie spoke to Jane was shortly after she had the argument with Angela. He tried to see things from both sides, play devils advocate, but Jane was not having it. Either he side with her or he could leave and leave he did. They crossed paths at works but never really spoke, than he left for Florida chasing down a lead on Tommy's whereabouts. He was unsuccessful, which has left him in an already saddened state.

"Hey Janie, how are you?" Frankie asked as he approached her bed.

"I'm gonna give you two some time." Maura said before she bent down to place a tender kiss to Jane's lips. "Thank you." Jane whispered.

"Frankie please sit I have something I need your help with." Jane asked


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N So i had more time than I thought to get this out, Happy New Year!**

**Chapter 26**

"Frankie it's so good to see you, come here little brother."  
>Jane said as she waved Frankie over to her bedside.<p>

Frankie hesitated before taking a couple steps than stopping looking at Jane with an eyebrow raised and confusion on his face. "Jane they give you something, some happy pills maybe."

Jane crossed her arms and glared at Frankie. "Since when do I have to be high to be excited to see you."

"It's just that we..haven't been...close lately, you know."  
>Frankie stated as he stood a few feet away from bouncing on his heels.<p>

Jane hadn't realized that she and Frankie were not getting along as well, there was a lot that she didn't know yet. Jane could see the hurt and fatigue in Frankie's features, she wondered if he had anyone to lean on. Jane was angry that she couldn't say with out a shadow of a doubt that he had her, because she had no memories of time with her brother for the last six years. She questioned what he had been up to, did he have a girlfriend, married, kids, or did he devoute all his life to the job. She hoped the latter wasn't true, some of the last things she can remember before everything went to shit was that she would die married to the job. She remembered the lonleness, being tired of the routine. Jane wanted more for herself but she did not know how, now that she has had a taste of life with Maura all she can do is question why, why did she not see what was always right in front of her Jane has never experienced happiness like she has the past days, even if it all seems to be some fucked up dream. The thought of hurting all those around her brought out an anger that was undeserved by Frankie.

"NO Frankie I don't know... I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped.  
>It's just that...I mean I know or I have been told that I wasn't the most cordial person, but I'm still trying to get used to not remembering it for myself." Jane said.<p>

"Wow you really don't remember anything. Ma told me but it's wow you know." Frankie said now moving closer to Jane, choosing to sit in the chair to the right of Jane's bed. Frankie bent over leaning on his elbows, rubing his face with both hands.

"Yeah I know, you should try being me. Feels like I'm in the twighlight zone sometimes. Most of what I've been told is still sinking in." Jane said with a chuckle.

"What freaked you out the most?"

"Oh I don't know, Being married to Maura and having two kids was pretty up there on the freak out list." Jane stated.

"Yeah it was a pretty big shock to all of us when you two got together. There was always the touches and looks you two shared but I never thought that there would be more. After a while though we all saw the love you two shared and knew that Maura was made for you. You were really lucky to find love like that you know, a love that never questions, never wants, and has no limits." Frankie said as he looked to his sister.

"I know that now Frankie, I just hope I don't screw it all up again. granted I can't remember fucking everything up, but that was all me you know."

"Jane you have a tumor that is messing with your mind, don't be to hard on your self."

"If I don't who will." Jane asked

"Ma."

"Ma." Both Jane and Frankie said at once, which caused them to burst out with laughter.

"Frankie I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything I've done to you." Jane said looking at Frankie with tears in her eye's

Frankie scooted his chair closer to Jane's bed reaching for her right hand and holding on to it tightly.  
>"Janie it's forgiven already, you hear me."<p>

Jane sniffed and smiled now looking at Frankie. "Thanks Frankie, I love you little brother."

"I love you too."

They both sat there for a couple minutes enjoying their renewed closeness. Frankie held his sisters hand smiling at her, happy to have Jane back in his life. granted it was just a start,and they still had a lot to talk about, but they were talking and an apology was given which was had always been his big sister, his protector, but now she needed him and he planned on being there no matter what happened in the past.

"Frankie I have so many questions for you,so many wrongs to make right but right now I don't have much time so I need you to do something for me. I know I have no right to ask, but it's important." Jane said.

Frankie nodded his head and sat up a bit straighter. "Sure Janie."

"I need to tell you something that will be hard to hear. It will change they way you think about me, I just hope you can understand why. I need you to listen to everything I'm about to tell you and keep in mind that I'm not asking you this for me, but for Maura and the kids." Jane said as she turned slightly to look in to Frankie's eye's so he knew the importance of the task at hand.

"Yeah sure Janie, I'll listen to anything you have to say, I'm sorry that you would think otherwise. I know we haven't been close these past months but I will always be there for you. Your my family Janie, and like it or not family lasts forever."

Jane began to recount the story of how she was forced into becoming a CI for Patty Doyle. She told Frankie everything and he listened with as much attention as Jane gave in retelling every detail. Jane also told Frankie of her run in with Joey and what she recalled about the files she took. She held nothing back, even the fact that she lied to Maura and everyone else for months. As Jane recounted the events that she remembered she watched Frankie's face for any sign of disgust. Jane was unable to get any sign of Frankie's thoughts from his face or body language, he just sat there and stared ahead watching Jane speak.

"So what do you think...say something, anything." Jane said scared by Frankie's still silent posture.

"I..I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say." Frankie said.

"Say what your really feeling." Jane asked

"Well...first I'm shocked, and when that wears off I' probably gonna be pissed. Why didn't you tell me about this sooner, I could have helped Janie."

"I wish I had an answer for you, but I just don't know why. There is so much I still can't remember, if I did it would hopefully make this easier."

"Easier on who?" Frankie said know standing up and pacing the room.

"Frankie please, I know I'm a shithead for this, but I probably thought by keeping this to my self I was protecting all of you."

"Always like you to think keeping stuff from us is protecting us." Frankie said now looking straight at Jane.

"Frankie please, I don't even know why I did what I did. Can't you understand that." Jane pleaded with Frankie.

Frankie ran his left hand through his hair, than sat back down with a sigh. " Janie... I'm sorry I am, but this is big you know. I'm just gonna need some time."

Jane smiled sadly. " I don't have time Frankie."

Frankie reached over grabbing Jane's hand once again. "What can I do?"

"Maura says I have a storage locker, I'm thinking that I would of hid any evidence there. I need you to go check it out for me."

"Sure I'll check it out."

"No one can know about this Frankie, no one. It may be enough evidence to put Doyle and his gang away forever, that means who ever has it is not gonna be safe." Jane said squeezing Frankie's hand.

"I understand Janie, but if this is big as you say, we're gonna need help."

"Let's just see what we have first, than we can decide who else we can bring in on this."

"OK, Janie. I'll keep it quiet."

"Thank you little brother." Jane said.

Frankie's smile began to fall, he let go of his sisters hand and leaned back in the chair. "What is it." Jane questioned.

"How much do you actually remember?" Frankie asked

"Can you be a bit more specific."

"how much do you remember about Tommy?"

"All I know is that Ma and I had some huge fight over him, one which we have made up over by the way." Jane stated.

"Yeah she told me, glad to hear it by the way. Well...were do I start."

"Start at the important part." Jane said with a huff.

Frankie leaned forward. " He came to you one night asking for help, he was very drunk and you just found out he stole money and antiques from Ma's. You were angry, he was inebriated a toxic combination. You two fought, for an hour back and forth. You managed to get him to tell you where he fenced the antiques, but he had already spent the money on booze. You told him you had enough of his shit, and to get out and never comeback. He begged you not to give up on him, you told him "why should I give a fuck when you don't" he begged and you threw him out on his ass literally."

"How, how do you know all this?" Jane asked dumbfounded.

"He came to your home, Maura was there she called me after. She was worried about you, You locked your self in the bedroom."

"And Tommy, what happened to him."

"We haven't seen or heard from him since that night." Frankie stated somberly.

Jane looked away and started to cry. Frankie reached for her hand but she pulled away, not wanting comfort right now. Jane couldn't believe that anything her brothers would do would ever lead to her turning her back on them, she was wrong. Jane's heart was breaking for Tommy, how could she make this right. Unfortunetly she didn't have much time to think about it as Dr. Becher and Maura walked in.

"Jane, Jane whats wrong." Maura asked as she quicky strode over to Jane's bedside.

Jane wiped at her tears and sat up a bit straighter. "Nothing it's fine." Jane said as she held on to Maura's hand.

Maura looked to Frankie and saw what neither was willing to say that Jane's sadness was brought on by mention of Tommy. She knew that the conversation that She and Jane needed to have would have to wait till they were alone. Jane didn't like to show much emotion to anyone but her so she would not make Jane uncomfortable by discussing this in front of others.

"Ill leave you guys to it then." Frankie said as went to walk out of the room.

"Frankie you'll stick around, yeah." Jane asked.

"Of course Jane." Frankie said as he left the room.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N Just a quick chapter, enjoy! **

**Chapter 27 **

"So I hear you want to reschedule your surgery again." Dr. Becher stated.

"Just a day, I _need_ one more day." Jane pleaded.

"Jane" Maura spoke in a hushed tone.

"Maura_ please_ help me out here." Jane asked.

Maura looked at Jane and relented. "One more day couldn't hurt doctor."

"Actually it could, Jane your Hypertensive, tachycardic, and you just had a major neurological event. If we continue to wait who knows what else will happen. I strongly suggest you let me operate tomorrow morning." Dr. Becher said as he stood by Jane's bedside opposite Maura's position.

Jane sighed and looked to Maura, she could see the pain in her eyes. Jane didn't want to hurt Maura but she needed to make sure Frankie was able to find something on Doyle. " I understand what you're saying doc, but I have to make sure something is taken care of before I go into a dangerous surgery."

"The surgery is risky, but waiting is more of a risk Detective."

"I'm sorry doc but I wont be changing my mind on this." Jane said as she Sat up a bit straighter trying to appear stronger than she felt.

Dr. Becher huffed and stuck his hands in the pocket's of his suit pants. "Okay than, I guess I'll reschedule for Thursday morning, I will be keeping you in the ICU for monitoring. I'm also going to put you on medication to prevent another seizure and to lower your vitals as they are higher than I'd like. You'll need to go back on the monitor and I.V, this is where I will not budge Jane."

"Alright, if that's what I have to do to hold off a day you got it" Jane said with a smile avoiding Maura's gaze.

"I'll check on you tomorrow, Have a good night. Dr. Rizzoli, Detective." Dr. Becher said as he left Jane's room.

Maura walked over to the chair sitting by the window and sat down looking outside. She began to play with a ring on her finger. Jane looked closely and noticed that it was wedding and engagement rings she had on her left hand. Jane tried to remember if she had noticed them before, she was positive she had never seen them before. Jane cleared her throat. "So, did you buy yourself something nice at the gift shop."

Maura turned her head looking at Jane confused by her question. " Pardon."

Jane moved her chin up looking at Maura's left hand. Maura followed Jane's gaze to her ring finger, she began to blush. "I had them in my purse, I put them on when we were in the ambulance." Maura stated while she stared down at the rings.

"Why?" Jane asked

"Why what?"

"Why do you have them, why did you put them on, why didn't you tell me."

Maura looked outside again with a big sigh, she than looked over to Jane. " I couldn't get rid of them, they are a symbol of the love we had. I put them on so there would be no question that I was your wife, so I could stay with you. I didn't tell you, because honestly we haven't discussed how you feel about the fact that we are still married. I know we brushed over the topic but we really need to have a deep discussion on the matter."

"Do we?" Jane asked

"Yes Jane, how do you feel about still being married to me?" Maura asked as she stood and walked over to Jane's bedside.

"Ah Jeez Maur I don't know how to answer that don't get me wrong I have always thought about possibly having more with you, but being married... it's a bit shocking. I can listen to all that you and my Family has to say but in my mind we were only best friends up until four days ago. That doesn't change the way I feel about you, I love you and always will, but married with kids is still sinking in. "

Maura licked her lips and sat down on the edge of Jane's bed looking out into the night sky. " Do you want to be married to me, have a family with me, grow old with me.?"

Jane reached for Maura's chin and turned her face so that they were staring at each other. " I said it's sinking in I didn't say anything about regret. Tell me how I proposed?"

Maura smiled and felt a tear fall down on her cheek. " You took me to Paris, you booked a room in this quaint little hotel in Montmarte. A neighbor hood that has breathtaking views of the city, and workplace to many of my favorite artists. We took long walks through the cobblestone streets, ate at tiny cafe's, and made love many times over the week. On the last day you and I had just finished with the most amazing sex that I had experienced, we stood naked in each others arms looking out to the city lights in the distance and you reached around me holding this gorgeous ring. No words were spoken for what felt like forever until you turned me around and simply said _Maura marry me, love me forever, and forever after that. _It was the absolute moment in time that I knew I would never love another, I would be yours for all time."

Jane wiped her thumb over the rings on Maura's finger. " Who knew I could be so romantic."

Maura chuckled at that. " It's a side of you that only I get to see, but It's a side that I will never tire of."

Jane reached up and cupped Maura's cheek wiping at the tears that had washed over her cheeks with her thumb. " When this is over I'm gonna take you back to that hotel in the city with breathtaking views and quaint cafe's. I want to spend forever making you feel the way you did that day."

Maura grabbed a hold of Jane's hand on her cheek and turned her head into her palm giving it a kiss. She than moved closer to Jane so that they may hold each other. " I would like that very much."

Jane leaned back still holding on to Maura looking into her eyes smiling. "Promise me something."

"Anything." Maura said.

"If I don't get a chance to take you back there, I want you to go with out me. Go and remember me in everything you do, than walk away."

"What, no." Maura said as she tried to get some distance between her and Jane,but Jane held on.

"Don't mourn me forever, That's Ma's job. Move on with your life, love again." Jane said with a sad smile.

"Jane we are not talking about this." Maura said as she broke free from Jane's grip and walked over to the window peering out in to the night.

Jane followed Maura with her gaze, sighing at the fight she had ahead. "Maur we have to talk about, what if. If we don't and something happens than what. I mean I know you want to have your ashes spread in the ocean with a cello, but do you know what I want?"

The room fell silent for a while, until Maur spoke in a tone that spoke of her sadness. "You want me to sneak your ashes into Fenway and spread them over all three bases."

Jane laughed. "Really, I said that?"

"Yes we had this talk shortly after the kids were born. So I don't see how it needs repeating."

"Ok so you know what I want in death but do you know what I want in life."

"What?" Maura said as she spun around looking quite mad. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Jane held up her hands in surrender. "OK now wait a minute let me explain before you go all Carrie on me."

"Jane please refrain from using pop culture to explain yourself right now I have neither the patience nor the time."

Jane starred at Maura in disbelief that she had no clue in regards to the Carrie reference. "Anyway, I want to talk about what should happen if i end up in a never ending coma."

"Jane." Maura warned.

"NO, No we can't just stick our heads in the sand and ignore things Maur. Let's act like the adults we are and talk about this stuff, the important stuff that needs to be said and answered. I know It hurts you, but..Maur Not talking is not going to make my tumor go away, it's just going to shorten the time we have together. Because I need to talk, I need this Maur." Jane stated.

Maura bowed her head and wiped at the new tears that had begun their assault on her eyes. "Okay..Okay Jane."

"Please come closer." Jane asked.

Maura walked back over to the bed and sat down in the chair to Jane's right side reaching out and taking her hand in her own. "What should I do...if you...Don't wake up." Maura asked while holding back the sob that was in her throat.

"Thank You..I don't want to be kept alive if there is no hope Maur. I want you and my family to be able to move on, and you can't do that with my body still hanging around."

"Okay." Maura said as she wiped at her tears.

"I don't want Fenway, I want my ashes to be kept in a safe spot so that I can be spread in the sea with you. There can even be a cello but let's just keep it at one Maur we don't want to show off." Jane said with a smile.

Maura smiled along with her fresh tears. "Sure Jane."

"Maura?"

"Yes Jane."

"Can I hold you now, or are you still mad?"

"I'm still mad..but I could really use a hug right now." Maura said as she sat on the edge of the bed and allowed Jane to pull her into a loving hug. Maura couldn't hold back any longer the sobs that she held in could no longer be contained, she cried in Jane's arms. Jane whispered in to Maura's ear that it would be alright, but inside she was breaking apart at seeing and feeling the love of her life crumbling like this. There was nothing that she could do to fix it either, it was all in the doctor's hand's now.

There the two woman sat crying together until both fell still. Jane ran her hands through Maura's hair, and kissed the head that rested on her shoulder. Maura ran kept one arm wrapped around Jane's back while he other rubbed up and down Jane's arm. Both woman were on the verge of exhaustive sleep when nurse Abby knocked on the door. "Come in." Maura said as she stood up straightening her wardrobe out.

"Don't go Far." Jane said as she looked to Maura.

"Don't worry I'm not going anywhere." Maura responded.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N There have been some reviews and PM's that have been fearful or mad that Jane will die. All I can say is please, please stay with me and read till the end. I promise you there _will_ be a happy ending, but we gotta get through a lot of angst to get there. Thank you again for following my story and leaving reviews I love reading them. **

**Chapter**** 28**

"Wakey, wakey." A red haired man who stood over Jane's sleeping body said.

Jane opened her eye's slowly, confused by the intrusion. As her eye's cleared an the fog lifted from her mind she realized she was in trouble. As she tried get up her arms were pinned down by two other men. The man to her right was tall had dusty blond hair and was in his forties. The man to her left was considerably younger maybe in his early twenties, he was short, and had dark brown hair. Jane tried to gather as much information as she could about these men, noting any distinguishing features. Jane attempted to speak but her mouth was quickly covered by the red haired stranger's hand. His hand reeked of cigarette smoke and as he bent over her body she could also smell his cheap after shave.

Jane struggled a bit more before she realized that it was a loosing battle. while she struggled she tried to note anything that could help. She also wondered why the nurses weren't coming in to see why her heart rate was elevated, as she felt it beating in her chest. Jane found out the answer while looking at the man to her right, he had her monitor wires attached to his chest. Jane's eyes widened, her head was forced straight by the red head.

"Shh, now we don't want you making to much noise, got it." The red head said with a devious smile.

Jane shook her head. "Now I'm gonna let go of your mouth, but you raise your voice, I shut you up, K."  
>The red head said as he moved his coat to the side showing a Glock 9mm.<p>

"Can you tell your boys to let go of my arm's" Jane asked

The red head shook his head towards the side at the man on Jane's right, silently telling the men to let go.  
>"You make one move and.."<p>

"I know you shoot." Jane interrupted.

"Smart ass." The older man to her right said.

"Yeah she is, part of her charm I hear." The red head said.

"Who are you?" Jane asked.

"All you need to know is we were sent here by Flannigan, he has a message for ya. One you'd be smart to listen to."

"I'm listening." Jane said while crossing her arms across her chest.

"We know your sick, we know your dying actually."

"So you know than that whatever you are going to threaten me with means nothing." Jane said defiantly.

The younger man made a move to slap Jane, but he was stopped by the red head. He held him back while the young kid yelled. " Show some fucking respect bitch."

"Cool it , not a hair he said, remember that." The red head stated as he pushed the younger man back.

"Keep your voice down too, you stupid fuck!" The older man to Jane's right said.

"Let's just get this shit over with." The young man said.

"Not a hair, huh." Jane stated with a smile now knowing that she was safe, for now at least.

"That's right we're not gonna hurt you, you are."The red headed man stated.

"What?" Jane asked as her smile fell.

"HA HA." He laughed knowing from Jane's look he had put an end to her smugness. " That's right _detective_, we have the upper hand, you'd do good to remember that." He said as he moved closer to Jane.

As he stood with his legs touching the left side of Jane's bed he reached back and pulled a manilla envelope out from where his pants met his shirt. He dropped the envelope on Jane's lap, she looked at it warily before returning her gaze to the red head.

"Go head, open it." He demanded.

Jane moved slowly, grabbing hold of the envelope. She opened it and looked in seeing a bunch of papers. She reached in and pulled them all out, reading the first page in horror. It was a transcript of Maura's phone conversation with Dr. Apner. She read about halfway thru before looking to the red headed man, she looked at him with anger in her eye's, this only made him smile. Jane than began to leaf thru the rest of the papers seeing that some were her recent medical records, transcripts of phone conversations, and a copy of something that made her heart skip a few beats and her blood run cold.

"How did you get this." Jane asked with out looking up from the paper she was holding in her hands.

"Flannigan has people everywhere, your not safe, no matter who has your back." Red head said as he referred to the paper Jane held in her hands. It was a copy of the note Doyle had slipped her in the court room, the note that made her choose between becoming a CI or Fearing for her Families life forever.

"I don't understand, you know if you harm me or my family it will lead to war between Doyle's gang and yours." Jane said confused as to why they were keeping tabs on her and her family.

"That's just it see, we don't plan on doing anything to hurt you or your family, you are. Flannigan wants you to know he never forgets a move against him, and that's what you did by putting his nephew away. So you have to know that even if you die we are still coming for your family, Doyle won't protect them when your gone."

"That's his daughter and grand kids, he will protect them till his death." Jane said.

"Which will be sooner than you think." The red head said as he laughed and shared a knowing smile between himself and the other two men.

"Your gonna take out Doyle." Jane stated more than asked.

"Did I say I was gonna whack the old man boy's?"

"Nah."

"Nope I didn't hear that." The two men said at once.

"Listen you got to make a choice again, this time it's your life or your families. You are not gonna take that drug, your not gonna fight this in anyway. You are gonna let yourself wither away and die, or if for some miracle you make it we are gonna kill your gorgeous ex wife and adorable little brats, but not before we have a little fun with that woman of yours first. If you catch my drift, _Janie_."

Jane saw red she wanted nothing more than to wrap her hands around this mans throat and choke the life out of him. She was outnumbered and out gunned though. So she sat there and let her blood boil, let her skin crawl, and her heart race with hatred for these men. Hoping that soon she would have her revenge for his audacity to even think of harming her family.

"How do I know you wont hurt my family anyway." Jane seethed.

"You don't, but know this, know that your life will pay the price for your misstep. Once that has been paid we will have no reason to go after your family." Red head stated with a smile loving the reaction he was getting from Jane. He loved knowing that she was getting angrier by the minute. He has followed her for a long time now and knew that she had a temper and hated to be bested.

Jane dropped the paper she was holding on top of the others, she knew what she was going to do, what she had to do. "Fine, I wont fight. I'll die so they can live." Jane said as she looked straight ahead.

"Smart decision Rizzoli, very smart. Just in case you have a change of heart though I think we'll continue to keep tabs, ok."

"What am I supposed to do about my surgery, if I don't go along with it they will think I'm incompetint and make the decision for me." Jane asked as she suddenly thought about it.

"Find a way, your good at that." He said as he grabbed the envelope and placed it back in his pants. "Remember we're watching and know of everything you do, Rizzoli." He and the other two men smiled, they placed the monitor leads back on Jane before leaving her room.

Jane let her head fall back on to the pillow releasing a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. She just stared at the ceiling trying to figure out what her next move should be. There was no way she was going to allow Flannigan, Doyle or anyone else to dictate how she lived or died anymore. The anger she was feeling fueled her desire to live and get her revenge on all who have caused her life to spiral out of control for the past months. She needed help though she was in no condition to do this all on her own, she wondered if the people she knew she could rely on were still reliable. After all her mind was full of holes, she had no idea who she could trust anymore. Especially after finding out that Flannigans men can get any bit of information they want.

"Argh!" Jane yelled as she ran her hands over her face frustrated.

"Jane, whats the matter?" Maura asked as she walked in to the room holding a cup of coffee.

"Where did you go?" Jane asked

"To get a cup of coffee, why is everything okay?" Maura asked Jane.

"No, no it's not. Did you see three men leaving the floor?"

"No, why? Jane what is going on?"

"Maura, I need you to get Frankie in here now." Jane demanded.

"Not until you tell me what is going on Jane." Maura stated angrily as she glared at Jane.

"Maura sit, please."

Maura walked over to Jane's bedside placing her coffee on the side table. She than sat on the edge of the bed taking Jane's hand in her own. "Jane talk to me."

Jane sighed and stared at their joining hands, brushing her thumb over Maura's rings. She than looked up with tears in her eyes. "I'm in real trouble Maur."

"What...why?"

"I was woken up by three of Flannigans men." Jane told Maura as she attempted to wipe the tears from her eyes with her free hand.

"Flannigans men were here...just now." Maura started to panic.

"They had transcripts of your phone conversations, my medical records, even a copy of Doyle's note to me in court. They have been watching us for months now."

"What did they want?"

"They want me to die." Jane said with anger in her voice thinking back to the men's outright heartless way of talking about her demise.

Maura removed her hand from Jane's and covered her mouth quieting the gasp that escaped her lips. "Maura if I don't they will come after you and the kids." Jane said as she reached for Maura's waist. But maura stood before she could be held down by Jane, needing some seperation from Jane now.

Maura shook her head no. " No Jane, NO."

Jane began to stand up from her bed. " What are you doing get back in bed Jane." Maura demanded.

"I need to be close to you right now and if you aren't gonna come to me I'll come to you." Jane said.

Maura huffed and walked over to Jane's bed helping her back in. As she was putting the covers back over Jane's legs Jane grabbed hold of Maura and placed her mouth against Maura's ear. "Jane what are..." Maura was cut off by Jane whispering in her ear.

"Shh I think the room is bugged. I have no intention of giving up and dying, but they need to think I am." Jane said as she pulled back looking into to Maura's eye's "I just needed a hug."

Maura looked worried she knew Jane was in a weakened state and this was not something she needed right now. Maura leaned in to Jane's body again and whispered in her ear this time." What are we going to do?" Jane smiled at that, so like Maura to include herself in Jane's battles.

"I need to get to another room one that isn't bugged. I need to get Frankie in here so he can help, I also need you to talk to Dr. Becher and get him to make it appear that we are canceling the surgery." Jane whispered her mouth so close to Maura's ear that her lips were touching it.

"But we are not, right?" Maura asked leery of Jane's answer.

"No we're not, I just need it to appear as though we are." Jane said as she kissed the side of Maura's neck.

"I love you." Jane said out loud not minding if that part was heard.

Maura pulled back keeping her arms wrapped around Jane's neck. "I love you too." Maura leaned in and gave Jane a kiss that was gentle but meaningful. She than placed her mouth to Jane's ear. " I'm going to go get Frankie, I'll let him know what's going on." Maura said as she gave Jane a kiss on the cheek.

"Be careful." Jane whispered.

Maura smiled at Jane squeezed her hand and stood to go get Frankie. As she left Jane ran her hands thru her hair, Jane knew that besides getting staff to keep quiet about her surgery she also needed to come up with a plan to take down two of the biggest crime families in Boston. A seemingly impossible feat, but Jane had to accomplish both if she was going to keep her family safe, and stay alive in the process.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N again I need to apologize, I had two drafts of this story and the first one had korsak as a captain and the other he's lieutenant. I wrote earlier that he was captain. Also sorry for the delay I'm going through some medical issues right now and I had to have a last minute surgery.  
><strong>

**Chapter 29**

Frankie stepped into Jane's room stopping after a few steps, and noticing for the first time how fragile his sister appeared to be. Jane had never looked so weak, she was now fading in to the background where as she used to be the only thing you could see. He had to muster up all the strength he had left so that he would not cry, he had to be strong for her. Jane needed him now and he will show her that she can count on him, even if all he wanted to do is run over to his big sisters side and shed the tears that have threatened to spill from the first words out of his mothers mouth, "they found a tumor."

Frankie was lost in thought when Jane woke, so he hadn't noticed her attempt to get out of the bed until Jane knocked a cup off her tray splashing water on to the floor.

"Janie what are you doing?" Frankie said startled as he approached Jane to help.

"I need to use the bathroom and I'll be damned if I'm gonna use a fucking bed pan. Help me out, will ya." Jane asked as she let her legs dangle off the side of her bed, holding on to the I.V pole.

"Shouldn't I...I mean...wouldn't you want a...another girl or something." Frankie stuttered as he reached under Jane's arm helping her stand. He wanted to help but was hesitant to follow his sister in to a bathroom.

"Jesus Frankie I just need you to walk with me to the bathroom, the rest I can do on my own. I'm just a little wobbly from the meds they gave me, so stop being a pussy and walk me to the bathroom." Jane said with a smile.

Frankie laughed at the playful name calling. " Yeah ok, here we go ol'lady." He said with a grin as he helped Jane walk to the bathroom in her room.

"No not this one, I'd like to stretch my legs a little, lets walk to the bathroom that's down the hall." Jane said nonchalantly.

"Uh ok." Frankie said confused, Maura had came to him in the family waiting room and said that Jane needed to see him right away. So it was a bit confusing that she was now talking about taking a walk.

Jane and Frankie walked slowly out of her room and down the hall to the visitor bathroom. Jane held on to her I.V pole with her right hand and Frankie's arm with her left. They didn't talk at all during the trek, Jane just watched to see what staff would look on curiously. Making note of any individual who looks to long or make's any phone calls. As they arrived at the bathroom Frankie made an attempt to hand Jane off, but she held on tightly to his arm staring at him hoping he would understand that she needed him. He huffed and said "Ok I'll help but _no one_ is to know about this." They walked in to the bathroom together.

Jane turned to Frankie placing her hand on his mouth as soon as the door was shut. She leaned in whispering in his ear. " The place is bugged, Flannigans men paid me a visit earlier they know our every move."

Frankie stood there, eyebrows knitted together in anger. Jane held a finger to her mouth gesturing to Frankie to stay quiet. She began looking around the bathroom for any devices that may have been left by red head and his crew. Frankie joined in on the search, the found nothing. Jane turned to Frankie still speaking in a whisper, but not needing to be so close. "I need you to do a sweep of my hospital room, apartment, and Maura's home for any bugs or wires. I also need you to buy burner phones for Maura, you and I. Make sure your not followed they can't know that we're doing this. I'm gonna need you to go to the storage unit right away too, we can't wait any longer."

"Jane we need help with this." Frankie whispered back running his hand over his face.

"No we can't trust anyone right now." Jane stated.

"How bout the lieutenant, we can trust him." Frankie pleaded.

"What no I'm not bringing Cavanaugh in on this." Jane said confused as to why Frankie would bring him up. He's there boss not a close friend or family member that can be trusted.

"Cava...what...no, Jane, Korsak, Korask is our lieutenant." Frankie said with a loud whisper.

Jane stilled for a second wondering why she had forgotten about that again. She recalled how terribly confused she was when Korsak first told her. " Right, right yeah I...I knew that. Ok, you can bring him in on this but no one else Frankie, this is important."

"Ok...we're gonna pull this off Janie."Frankie stated.

"Yeah we will, nobody pisses off a Rizzoli." Jane stated while placing her hand on Frankie's cheek and smiling.

The pair made their way back to Jane's room, the same way they made their way down the hall. Jane was a bit winded by the time they got back to the room which was the least of her concerns after she saw the look on Maura's face. To say that she wasn't happy about them not being in the room when she got there was an understatement. Maura sat there in the chair next to Jane's bed with her arms folded in on her chest, glaring at both siblings.

"Uhh, I think I'm gonna be going now." Frankie said as he slowly walked Jane to her bed, never looking straight at Maura as if he did his face would burst in to flames from the death glare she was giving the two of them.

"See ya soon, yeah?" Jane said as she laid down on the bed.

"Yeah real soon, Janie." Frankie said as he was leaving.

Jane hadn't looked Maura's way yet but could feel her glare in her peripheral vision. She knew Maura would be mad if she found out she went for a walk but it was a necessary evil, there was no way she was going to talk to Frankie in her room. Now that Jane was settle in her bed she looked over to Maura, she dared not smile, There was no need to aggravate the situation anymore.

"I had to get out for a bit, Frankie was by my side the whole time."

"That's supposed to make me feel more comfortable with the situation, you had Frankie by your side." Maura said in an even tone.

"Maur... think about it. Why would I leave the room...understand." Jane said trying to get Maura to understand her need to leave with Frankie."

Maura glared at Jane a little more , than stood up and sat on Jane's bedside. Maura grabbed Jane's hand and looked at there joined hands for a bit before returning her gaze to Jane and saying. " I understand why, but if you disregard the doctors orders to stay in bed again...I'll leave."

"Maur, don't say that."

"Jane you have no idea the pain that I'm in right now. I have to watch the woman I love fight for her life and there's not much I can do. The only thing I can do is walkaway, so please don't make that decision for me. Listen to what the staff has to say, we are all trying to do what we can to save you, please let us."

"Maura I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you. I know you're going through a lot right now. Have I told you how much I appreciate you and all that you do?"

Maura nodded her head no. "That's cause I'm a fucking idiot."

"Language." Maura whispered.

"I love you Maura, please know how much I love you.

"I know, I love you just as much. If not a little more." Maura said with a sad smile.

"It's not a contest Maura." Jane said as she smiled pulling Maura in for a hug.

As they sat there in each others arms Jane whispered in Maura's ear. " Did you talk to Dr. Becher?"

"I did." Maura whispered sadly.

"And?" Jane asked

Maura wrapped her arm's around Jane neck a little tighter, needing to feel close to her righ now. " He said he will help."

"Ok how? Did he tell you his plan?" Jane asked

Maura sighed and leaned back shaking her head no. She recalled the talk she had with Dr. Becher, remembering how much effort it took on her part to get him to agree to help. His first instinct was to call the police on Jane's behalf, but Maura convinced him that would be a pointless move seeing as they have no idea who is on Flannigans payroll. Maura begged Dr. Becher to see this through for them, he acquiesced but would not tell Maura of the plan saying he himself was unsure of what he was going to do, but that he did have an idea. Maura hated not knowing what was going to happen next. Little did she know she would not have to wait long for the answers to her questions.

It was sometime in the early afternoon when Dr. Becher walked in to Jane's room. He noticed the two woman fast asleep, Jane in her bed and Maura in the recliner to the right of Jane's bed. He was nervous, he wasn't sure that they would both agree to his plan, it was risky. He saw no other way though, this was what needed to be done on order to allow Jane to go through with the surgery while still keeping her family safe.

Dr. Becher cleared his throat loudly hoping to awaken both women. Maura was the first to wake up, she noticed Dr. Becher standing there with a smile. She stood up wiping at the wrinkles that were now evident on her skirt, she than walked over to Jane's bedside grazing her hand over Jane's arm waking the detective up.

"Whats.." Jane noticed the doctor standing there with his finger to his lips, signaling to the woman to not speak.

"Jane I've gone over your last set of labs and I'm a bit concerned." Dr. Becher said as he walked closer to Jane bending down removing her I.V as he did so he whispered. " I know about the wires I need to get you out of here so we can talk."

Jane nodded her head. " I would like to take you to CT to run another scan." Dr. Becher said as he prepared to get Jane into a wheel chair that had been sitting of in the corner of the room.

Dr. Becher pushed Jane out of the room with Maura following. " I'm taking Ms Rizzoli to CT scan." The doctor notified the nursing staff.

"Would you like help doctor." One of the nurses said as she looked to Jane, which did not go unnoticed by Jane.

"No I can handle it, thank you nurse." Dr. Becher said.

As the three continued on there path to CT it remained quiet, all aware that anyone could potentially be listening. Once in the CT scan room the doctor ordered the two radiologists out saying he needed to speak with his patient in private.

"OK doc what's going on?" Jane asked.

"Jane, Maura and I had a talk earlier as I'm sure you know. I understand the quandary you find yourself in and I think I can help. What I'm about to propose is dangerous and may not work if all we plan does not fall in line exactly as it should, but if it does work I believe it will solve your problem and them some." Dr. Becher stated.

"What is your plan Doctor?" Maura asked as she wrapped her arms around her waist needing to feel safe as she anticipated not liking what was about to be said.

"There are drugs that I can administer to Jane that will slowly cause her vitals to deteriorate. Eventually leading her heart to stop."

"What the hell kinda plan is that." Jane interrupted.

"Jane, please let him finish." Maura said weary of where he was going with this.

"You see the only way we are going to be able to go ahead with the surgery and the drug trial is if they think your dead, and the only way that can happen is if it's true. Once you flat line I will administer a drug that will reverse the effects of the initial drugs. Your heart will begin to beat immediately but it wont be strong enough to be picked up by the monitor or felt, so I can declare you dead and once your transported to the morgue we can remove you from the hospital and admit you in a hospital out of the state under an assumed name."Dr Becher stated happy with his plan.

Jane and Maura just looked at each other, Jane was the first to speak slowly turning to look at the doctor. " What are the risks, this sounds to easy."

"Unfortunately it wont be easy, not on you and not for your loved ones. The medication will cause some very painful side effects not to mention the risk that I wont be able to bring you back. No one except for us three can know about this. I will take care of everything here at the hospital and the transport of your body, but everyone else has to believe your dead Jane, its the only way it will work. They are obviously following everyone, if it doesn't appear to them that your family and friends are grieving they will know something isn't right." Dr. Becher said as he looked to both woman while talking aware that this would be especially painful on Maura as she would have to watch the woman she loves die.

"I..I don't.. I mean I'm not." Jane wasn't sure how to answer the doctor.

"She will do it." Maura stated looking to Jane, still keeping her arms wrapped around her self.

Jane whipped her head around looking at Maura with her mouth open, stunned that Maura was in agreement of this plan, a plan that could kill her. "Maur."

"Jane this is the most viable option we have, we are running out of time, we need a plan and Dr. Becher is the only one with one that could work." Maura walked over to Jane and placed both hands on her cheeks smiling gently. " It will work Jane, it has to."

"Maur this wont be easy, my family wont understand." Jane spoke.

"Nothing about our lives has been easy. It will be hard, yes, but in the end it whats gets me you. How can I say no to that. I will take care of your family trust me" Maura said before placing a gentle yet meaningful kiss to Jane's lips.

"OK, ok I'll do it doc. On one condition though, you have to promise me, you will explain all this to my mother if I should not make it. Lord knows if you have the threat of explaining to that woman how you killed her only daughter, I'm pretty sure you will do everything to save my life." Jane said with a wink.

Dr. Becher chuckled but also paled when he thought of how Mrs. Rizzoli would react. "I promise Jane."

"So when do I die." Jane said with a straight face.

"Jane." Maura yelled as she slapped Jane's arm.

"What that's what were gonna do." Jane replied.

"Still you don't have to say that, I may have agreed but this is still not easy." Maura said as she looked down trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.

"Sorry Maur, I shouldn't.."

"No you shouldn't." Maura said as she looked back up at Jane now that she felt more confident she wouldn't cry.

"Alright, well let's get you back to your room so we can start. It should take about an hour for the medicine to take full effect. After that you will have what seem like a heart attack, it will feel like it too. I will be called to your room were I will act as though I'm trying to save you but Nothing will work until I give you the other drug. I will pronounce you dead and we will transfer you out of here." Dr. Becher stated.

"I need a day doc." Jane asked.

"Again." He replied.

"I asked my little brother to do some things for me that are important to this case. I need to see that they get done, otherwise we may still be in danger" Jane explained

"One day Jane." Dr. Becher stated in a tone that left no room for debate.

"Jane what is so important?" Maura asked.

"Maur there planning on killing Doyle, and they have all of our homes bugged I'm sure of it." Jane said as she let go of Maura's hand to turn her wheel chair so she would be facing Maura now, her eye's begging Maura for understanding.

"There what.." Maura said as she gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

"They told me he wouldn't be around much longer, he has to be warned. I'm also hoping if they think I'm dead there will be no reason to kill him any more, but you can't anticipate how these guys think." Jane stated

"How do you plan on warning him?" Maura asked.

"Frankie." Jane said.

"No, No it should be me." Maura shook her head no.

"Why cause there is such a bond between you two, No Maura. Frankie will do it, the man forced me in to being an informant as blackmail for protecting you and the kids. There is no way I'm letting you talk to that bastard. Jane said as she lifted her hand not needing to be reprimanded for her language right now.

"Jane I'm the only one he is going to listen to, I'm sure he wont even see Frankie." Maura said her hands now on her hips.

Jane ran her hands through her hair frustrated, she knew Maura was right. That didn't make it any easier, she hated Doyle and knew the pain he has put Maura through. Maura bent down and placed her hands on Jane's knees, looking lovingly at her. " I can handle him Jane, let me do this, please."

Jane knew Maura was the right person for the task, but it was still hard to admit it. In the end she had to do what was right for her family, and that meant letting Maura talk to Doyle." Fine, but you will take Frankie with you, just in case."

"Jane the man is in prison what can he do." Maura said with her head tilted to the side.

"Prison doesn't stop a man like that Maur." Jane stated.

Maura smiled and stood up turning to the doctor who had been looking on. "We can go back to the room now, and tomorrow evening we will start with your plan."

"Tomorrow evening it is." He said as he moved to push Jane back to her room with Maura by her side again.

**A/N I know that the whole medication that will stop and start your heart sounds fake and bizarre but this is fiction, please remember that.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Frankie walked Back into the room, only this time, Jane was not alone in her bed. Maura was snuggled in to Jane's side, with her lips resting on Jane's pulse point. Even in sleep she would look to maintain her watch over Jane. Frankie noted how peaceful they both seemed in sleep, neither showing any signs of the pain there situation had caused both woman. He wished they could remain that serene forever, but he had a job to do so he needed to risk waking the woman from their slumber.

Frankie placed his backpack down on a empty chair to the left of the room. He slowly opened it trying his best to not make to much noise. Frankie pulled out a scanning wand and git started on his mission of scanning the room for any audio or video devices. He began at the left corner of Jane's room and worked his way around the room. The scanner beeped slowly as he made his way around the room. It wasn't until he waved the wand near the end of Jane's bed that the scanner began to beep wildly. He bent down looking for any bugs, at first he wasn't able to see anything so he crouched down almost sitting on the floor and reached under Jane's bed feeling around for anything out of place. Maura had been awoken by a sound she believed to be Jane's monitor, due to Frankie's position she was unable to see him, so when she heard a man yell "AHHA" she shrieked and placed her body over Jane's closing her eye's tight fully expecting a move to harm Jane by whomever was in the room with them.

Frankie stood quickly once he heard Maura's shriek, he side stepped to place his body in her field of vision. Frankie placed his hand on Maura's shoulder at the same time as saying " Maura, It's ok, It's Frankie."  
>Maura jumped at Frankie's touch but opened her eye's when she heard the familiar voice, she lifted her head off Jane's shoulder glaring at Frankie, just than Jane opened her eye's immediately becoming confused.<p>

"What the hell is going on? Maura why are you on top of me?" Jane asked.

As Maura began to remove herself from her position over Jane's body she yelled at Frankie. " Frankie what are you doing?  
>you scared me, I thought you were here to harm Jane."<br>She finished off her sentence with crossed arms and another death glare.

Jane looked down at Frankie's hands when she noticed he was holding on to something. She recognized both items as a scanner and a audio bug. Jane motioned to Maura to be quiet by placing her finger to her lips, Maura began to open her mouth to protest, not liking the fact that she was being told to be quiet and that something was obviously going on that she was not privy to. She was stopped by Jane with a glare of her own, one that Maura gladly returned.

After what seemed to be an eternity of the two woman locked in a stare off, Frankie cleared his throat drawing their attention. He held up his right hand showing the woman what he found. Jane looked back to Maura and waved her hand slowly to frankie's right hand, silently asking Maura to understand why she silenced her. Maura sighed and shook her head yes, acknowledging the need for silence. Frankie moved from Jane's bedside and kneeled down placing the bug in a evidence bag that was on the floor. Maura made her way around the bed to get a closer look at what Frankie was doing.

"Frankie thanks for coming back again, why don't we play some cards." Jane said in an attempt to give their listners an answer on why the room was going to suddenly becoming silent.

"Yeah sure Janie that sounds fun, sound good Maura? And sorry bout scaring you I dropped my phone." Frankie stated.

"That's quite alright Frankie just a small understanding." Maura said.

Frankie could see that Maura had questions, so he walked over to his backpack and pulled out a notepad. He turned around with a smile and wrote. " So we can communicate." He handed the pad to Jane as continued his search.

As Jane wrote Maura made her way back to the bed, sitting down on the left facing Jane. Jane finished writing and turned the notepad around, it read " I asked Frankie to search the room and our homes for bugs."

Maura placed her hand on the notepad, Jane gave it to her, she wrote." Why didn't you tell me about this, I mean I know you had mentioned that our homes and your room may have been bugged, but why not tell me that Frankie would be conducting a search tonight?"

As Jane explained to Maura that it had slipped her mind with everything else that was going on, she hadn't meant to leave Maura out, it just happened and she was sorry. Frankie moved methodically across the room, checking everywhere. Frankie found four more audio bugs. He placed them all in the evidence bag. Next to the evidence bag was a camera, and fingerprint dust. Frankie stood up and faced Jane and Maura, it was like watching a tennis match. The notepad was being passed back and forth, both woman writing furiously. Frankie sighed and ran his hand through his dark locks much like Jane would. He could see that Jane was in trouble for not including Maura on their plan's earlier, but right now there was something more important that the notepad was needed for.

Frankie cleared his throat and put his hand out and said " Can I have the cards."

Maura looked at Frankie with confusion, Jane rolled her eyes, Jane than grabbed the notepad and placed it in Frankie's hands. "Here's the cards." Jane than looked at Maura, pointed to the pad and said. " Cards Maura, Frankie needed the cards."

Maura stared blankly for a second than opened her mouth and said " Oh, I understand now."

Jane shook her head and smiled which resulted in a playful slap across her upper arm, and a pointed look from Maura. Frankie began to write when he was done he turned the notepad around showing both woman what he wrote. "All the bugs are audio only, I'm going to dust them for prints, and photograph them. I checked your apartment Jane, there was some there as well. "

Maura reached out for Jane's hand, squeezing tightly. She couldn't believe what she was reading, she reached for the notepad. Maura began writing, when she was done she turned it around showing the siblings what she wrote. " Are there any at our home? should I send the kids away are they safe?"

Frankie shook his head and reached for the notepad, it read. " I haven't been to your place yet, but you can be asured that there will be bugs there as well. We have to keep up an appearance that things are status quo, if you send the kids away now they will know something is up."

Maura sighed and ran her hands through her hair. She was fighting the tears that had crept into her eyes. Jane could see how this whole ordeal was slowly breaking Maura down. She had become a sad and insecure woman, nothing like the confident woman she fell desperately wished she could spare Maura any more heartache, but short of using super powers to turn back time, there was nothing she could do to erase what has already been done. Jane swore to herself in that moment that she would spend the rest of her life building Maura back up if she should make it through this. All Jane ever wanted was to be connected to Maura on a romantic level, she failed to take that step due to fear and fucked up notions that she was not good enough. Jane was half right though, she was not good enough, but not for Maura, for herself. She allowed fear, insecurities, and not trusting enough to put her family in this situation. Granted there's nothing she could have done to prevent the tumor, but she could have made different choices in regards to her family. No matter what she's been told about the tumor disrupting her Decision making, emotions, and memory. She knew that there was no blame to be placed on a tumor, her decisions are her own. No one or thing controls a Rizzoli, which is why she will make the Flannigans and Doyle pay for what part they have played in this debacle.

Jane grabbed the note pad and began to write, " Maura I can't apologize any more, it wont make any of this better for you, but I can promise you that this will all be over soon. I love you more than life itself and I promise that when this is all over you will have your life back, you will be yourself again, and worry no more."

Maura lost her battle with the tears that had built in her eyes. If only Jane knew how badly she wished that to be true. Maura wiped at the tears that had now fallen down her blush colored cheeks. She than bent over placing one hand on the side of Jane's head, the other on her pale cheek and than she kissed Jane with tear stained lips. Maura pulled the Notepad from Jane's hands as she stood up. She wrote what she was feeling at that exact moment, what she had always felt. Maura turned the pad around and with it a smile graced her lips, it read. " Let's get OUR life back."

Jane smiled and grabbed Maura's hand so appreciative for Maura's understanding and patience. Jane was not the easiest woman to live with under the best circumstances, but add a tumor and two Irish mobs, and it was impossible. Yet there stood Maura, by her side through it all. Frankie watched on in awe, he was very aware of Jane's actions as of late. He had been on the bitter end of her hostility and to see a woman who has bared it all still standing close, was a thing of fiction, or so he thought, Maura was proving him wrong.

Frankie got started on dusting and photographing the bugs before he put them back. They couldn't remove them for fear of allowing the Flannigans insight on the change of plans. Maura watched as the many different emotions washed over Jane's face as she watched her little brother. Maura saw pride, love, fear, and than sadness. She knew that not including their family on the plan to fake Jane's death weighed heavily on Jane. She worried about how her mother will handle loosing her daughter. Maura also knew Jane was worried about the stress this would put on her. Maura tried to comfort Jane on this matter, telling her that she was aware of the need for this plan and she would be okay. She also knew though that if the shoe was on the other foot, she would be just as concerned.

Maura had told herself that this was a necessary evil, this gets them closer to being a whole family again, this gets her Jane. She told herself this over and over, every moment, she had to in order to get through.

"Maura" Jane said

Maura was roused out of her thoughts, she hadn't even noticed that Frankie was now all done with the bugs and had already placed them back in their positions. " Yes Jane."

"You alright?" Jane asked.

"Yes I am." Maura said with a small smile.

"Ok well would you mind getting me some water." Jane said as she pointed to a half full water pitcher.

Maura looked to where she pointed than back at Jane realizing that Jane wasn't asking so much for water but more for privacy with her brother. " Sure Jane." Maura gave Jane a chaste kiss than grabbed the pitcher exiting the room.

Jane grabbed the notepad that rested on her lap and wrote." Maura is insistent on seeing Doyle, I need you to go with her, keep her safe. Watch your back, who knows what C.O's or prisoner's are watching. The Flannigans will know you're there, just make sure they don't know why. Keep your self's safe, please."

Frankie reached for the pad and wrote. " You can count on me sis, tell her I'll pick her up first thing in the morning. That will give me time to scan your home and arrange for a private room to talk to Doyle in."

Than as though he just remembered something he put his pointer finger in the air and shook his head. He stepped back and turned towards his back pack, reaching in and pulling out two phones. They were the burner phone's Jane had asked for. Jane gave him a thumbs up and a smile. She began to write something, turning the pad around when she was done. "What did you find in the storage locker?"

Frankie replied in writing. "Janie there's enough evidence in the form of files and photographs to bring down Doyle's entire operation. You did real good Janie."

Jane wrote. "That is great news Frankie, with what we got on him, plus the news of the hit placed on him, he will have to cooperate."

"What are you planning?" Frankie wrote.

"You're gonna approach Doyle with all this info, tell him if he ever wants to see the light of day again he will cooperate. Tell him the only way we will protect him is if he does what we ask. He is going to help us set up Flannigan, with him out of the picture I'm sure this stupid Vendetta goes with him. Whoever takes Flannigans spot on the top isn't going to risk loosing it for another man's fight,why risk loosing out on being the head of an Irish mob. We need Doyle to set up a meet with Flannigan, offer him a piece of his action for the release of his death wish upon my family. We'll have surveillance on the scene, we can get him on a litney of charges, especially if we can get him talking about his illegal dealings. That part is important, a confirmed death threat on an officer isn't enough. We need to have enough evidence to put him away long enough for him to loose all his status with the mob. Without them he's just a man with a grudge. I've Handled that before."

Frankie Finished reading with a sad smile. more than familiar with Jane's history. Frankie wrote back. " What if Flannigan doesn't talk or Doyle doesn't agree?"

"Maura will be there to insure Doyle agrees, hopefully. As for Flannigan, well I'm counting on his over grown ego and superiority complex to get him talking." Jane wrote.

"I'll do my best Janie." Frankie wrote.

"You always do little brother." Jane said.

"Thanks Jane." Frankie said with a smile.

"I love you Frankie, come give me a hug." Jane said.

"Really Janie." Frankie was shocked by the request, Jane never was much for shows of affection. Jane put her arms out waiting for Frankie to step into them. Frankie smiled and hugged his sister. He was aware of the fact that Jane held on a little to long. Jane took a deep breath trying to hold in the tears that were building. She cleared her throat and said." I love you Frankie please never forget that. I'm so sorry for everything I put you through."

"Hey Janie it's all in the past now, I love you too!" Frankie said as he held on to his sister. He stepped back and looked at Jane weary of how she was acting. " Everything ok Jane?"

"Yeah Frankie, everything is good. Just wanted you to know how I felt." Jane said as a lone tear found its way out of he left eye.

Just as Frankie was about to push the issue Angela walked in, she was immediately alarmed by what she saw. "Is everything ok?" She asked noting their close proximity and the tears in Jane's eyes.

"Everything is fine ma." Jane said

"Yeah Ma" Frankie responded.

"Ok ok." Angela said as her eyes locked on to the notepad. Before she had a chance to say anything Frankie grabbed it and placed it back in his back pack. "Well I better get going...see ya tomorrow Jane."

"Yeah Frankie, thanks for everything." Jane said

Frankie gave his mom a hug before leaving the room. Angela looked to Jane as she walked closer to her bedside. "So you gonna tell me what's going on, and before you lie remember that I'm your mother Janie I know when your lying."

"Ma there's nothing to tell, please calm that overactive brain of yours."

"Why wont you tell me." Angela huffed.

"Cause there's nothing to tell." Jane said loudly as she ran her frustrated hands through her hair.

Angela glared at Jane she knew he was lying but decided to drop it not wanting to put anymore stress on Jane. She sat down on the chair to the left of Jane. "Fine don't tell me, but just know that I know something is going on."

Jane chuckled. "Like a dog with a bone she mumbled.

"I heard that." Angela said.

Jane just smiled." Sorry."

Angela smiled but shook her head. "How are you feeling?"

Jane knew she hated lying to her mother but knew it was necessary." Honestly...I've had better days."

"Everything is going to get better after your surgery, you'll see sweetie." Angela leaned in and held her daughter's hand."

"Yeah about the surgery it's been postponed for another day." Jane said

"What, why." Angela said as her voice got higher.

"Doc had an emergency."

"And your not an emergency, I'm gonna talk to that doctor of yours" Angela said as she made a move to stand up.

"MA..stop, just sit ok. It's fine another day wont kill me." Jane winced as she saw the hurt flash across her mothers face when she said the word kill.

Angela sat back down keeping her hold on Jane's left hand, she stared at their joined hands as she said. " You know when I found out I was having a girl I was so excited. So pleased that I would have someone to dress up, teach the family recipes, and have girl talks with. Than you came into this world and I quickly found out that would not be happening." Angela chuckled as she looked up in to Jane's eye's "You were such a little tomboy, so ready to follow the boys and play in the dirt rather than put on a pretty dress and cook, but I loved you still. Than as you grew up I had dreams of you meeting a nice man having gorgeous babies and wanting to know all that had to due with being a good housewife. Yet again I was wrong, but I loved you still." Tears began to fall from Angela's eyes. " Now I sit here and watch as you fight for a life that I envisioned being a long and happy one, I can't...I won't be wrong this time...I..."Angela broke down in tears placing her head down on their joined hands.

"Ma.." Jane didn't know what to say next she couldn't lie to her mother not this time. She couldn't say she was going to be alright when she knew that tomorrow night she would be dead. "I love you Ma, I love..."Jane broke down, sobbing at the thought of hurting her again. Angela moved from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed pulling her daughter in her arms. There both woman remained for some time sobbing together in each others arms, both regretted the time they lost, and feared for the time that they may still loose.

"It's ok baby...I love you still!" Angela cried

* * *

><p><strong>AN I feel like I'm always apologizing to you but i must once again. I did not have my head or heart in this chapter, I have a family member who is very ill, and appears to be loosing the battle. That has taken up so much of my thoughts that I feel like this chapter suffered because of it, sorry for that. **


	31. Chapter 31

First I'd like to thank all who wished me well during this tragic time.  
>I really appreciate the kindness and heartfelt reviews I've been receiving, it means more than I can express. I am going in for surgery on mon, I will be in the hospital for a bit, but after that I will post the next few chapters.<br>Thank you for your patience, I never wanted there to be so much time in between updates,  
>but life happens, take care.<p> 


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Maura laid comfortably against Jane's chest resting her cheek on a tanned breast. She played lazily with the hair that rested on Jane's bare shoulder. Maura could feel the warmth of her loves breath on her forehead. Jane lovingly grazed her fingers across Maura's back, she tickled her lovers spine with a gentelness that no one but Maura has ever seen. The morning sun had just begun to shine, falling on there bodies with all it's warmth, Jane sighed. " what are you thinking?" Maura asked.

"I wish this could last." Jane replied.

Maura leaned up on her elbow looking Jane in the eyes. "Wish what could last."

"Our love." Jane said.

"Why would you say that Jane?" Maura asked as she sat up pulling the sheets up over her bare chest.

Jane sat up ignoring her own nakedness, she smiled while placing a hand on Maura's cheek. "Oh Maura you know I have to leave."

"No...No you don't. Jane you don't have to leave, please stay." Maura begged.

"I'm sorry love I cant stay...I'm already gone." Jane said

"What?" Maura asked confused, she could feel her heart rate accelerating in her chest.

"Maura open your eyes." Jane asked

"My eye's are open Jane." Maura said angrily

"Than why cant you see." Jane asked but her voice sounded as though it was coming from far away.

"Jane...what is happening." Maura asked as she watched Jane fade away. "Jane...JANE."

"Open your eyes Maura." Jane said yet she was no longer in front of Maura, the room became very dark Maura could barely hear Jane. Maura frantically felt around the bed, feeling her way, trying to reach out for Jane. "Jane where are you?  
>Jane please I'm afraid."<p>

"Open..._your_ eyes" Jane's voice commanded again.

Maura closed her eyed shut than slowly opened them, when she did she saw Jane's body laying lifeless on her autopsy table. Maura screamed, "Noooo."

Maura...Maura it's ok...Maura...open your eyes. Maura's eyes flew open her hand on her chest, she looked around frantically trying to make out where she was. Than she remembered she was in Frankie's car, she must have fallen asleep, it was just a nightmare. "Maura you ok?" Frankie asked.

Maura looked over at him embarrassed. "Yes... I'm okay. Just a nightmare, I apologize for that outburst Frankie."

"You don't need to apologize Maura, you've been under lots of stress, it's understandable." Frankie said with his hand on Maura's shoulder

Maura turned to look at Frankie, realization hitting her that she fell asleep while he was talking to her. "Oh Frankie...I'm sorry, I.."

Frankie interrupted Maura knowing what she was apologizing for once he saw her cringe." Maura there's no need, you needed the sleep."

"Yes, but I cant believe I fell asleep while you were talking, ow rude of me." Maur stated.

"Really it's no biggie Maura." Frankie said with a smile

Maura nodded taking a deep breath she looked down at her hands that were now entwined on her lap. "Would you think it horrible of me to ask you to go over what I slept through." She said with a shy smile.

Frankie laughed. "Sure Maura...sure."

Maura had fallen asleep halfway through their trip to the prison. Frankie was now parked in the parking lot, he turned back towards the steering wheel looking out into the gray sky above them and somberly asked. "the nightmare was about Jane, wasn't it."

Maura looked out the passenger side window, choking back the emotion that threatened to sweep her away. "It was." She replied.

Frankie turned his head noting the sag in Maura's _shoulders,_ he worried about her. "Maura sh..."

Maura turned putting her hand in the air silently asking Frankie to stop. "I.. I just cant right now, I'm sorry." Maura said before she returned to staring out the window.

"Ok Maura, ok." Frankie said understanding how painful all this must be for her.

"Thank you Frankie" Maura said as she placed her hand on Frankie's forearm.

"So how much did you catch before you fell asleep?" Frankie asked changing the subject for both their benifit.

"Catch..." Maura asked confused by the phrase.

"How much of what I was telling you do you remember before you fell asleep." Frankie said with a smile.

"Ah, yes, well I remember you telling me about finding the audio bugs in my home, which is_ still_ quite distressing. I don't recall anything after that though."Maura said

Frankie ran his hands through his hair, he was just as upset as Maura at what he found in her and Jane's home. Frankie began telling Maura about Jane's plan, the one that would hopefully take down Flannigan. Maura listened to every word Frankie had said, and allowed the slightest bit of hope to creep into her mind, hope that there may be an end to this nightmare after all. Frankie told her everything, Jane had instructed him to, she knew if the plan were to work Maura would need to know everything. Frankie relayed Jane's message to Maura of how sorry she was that she had not been the one to tell her, but with Flannigan's men listening Jane figured it would be safer to let Frankie tell her away from all who could be listening. Maura sat there taking it all in, knowing that it was all up to her now. If they were to have any chance at a future free of fear, Maura would have to convince a man who she despised to give all that he had away for her.

"Is there anything else I should know?" Maura asked in a monotone voice.

"That's all of it." Frankie took a deep breath than said. "Maura we have to have Doyle's cooperation or we have nothing. There's no other way to bring Flannigan down. He trusts no one so trying to plant an undercover in his operation to get the evidence we need would be next to impossible, and even if we were to pull that off there's no telling how long it would take to get what we need. So no pressure, but this is our one real chance at getting Flannigan." Frankie said with a nervous energy.

Maura looked out the window towards the prison than back at Frankie. " How are we going to get Doyle alone, away from prying eyes?" she asked.

"I have a connection in the prison, we will be visiting with Doyle in a private room. It's a room used for meetings with lawyers, so there are no recording devices on the room."Frankie stated.

"Okay...well than I guess there's no need in putting it off any longer, shall we." Maura said as she grabbed her purse and began getting out of the car. Frankie and Maura walked in to the prison together both nervous about what lies ahead.

* * *

><p>Jane had said good bye to Maura a few hours ago, she now stared out the window wondering how things were going. The thought of Maura being the one to approach Doyle with their plan literally caused Jane's whole body to ache. Jane was not used to being the one to sit back and have others protect her and her family, she was always the one who was in danger. Jane knew that her best chance of convincing Doyle to go along with the plan meant that the message had to come from Maura, she was the only one he would listen to. That being said it didn't make it any easier for Jane to send Maura off.<p>

Jane wondered just how she got here, everything has happened so quick. Jane never allowed herself to imagine a life with Maura, never dared to dream of a happy ending, and here she was living the dream that had become her nightmare. At that exact moment Jane was bombarded with memories of her life with Maura, with her kids, with her family. Jane remembered it all, it was as if someone pressed rewind on her memory. Everything came back to her, every bit of time she had lost to the tumor she was gaining back. There was her wedding to Maura, the twins birth, every happy moment, and also the sad ones. It was a rush of emotions for Jane, she was finally tearing through the fog that had settled over her memories. At first Jane smiled than she began to laugh, but soon the tears came. It was to much, Jane could feel the emotions tied to every memory, but she also had all these memories of another life. Why was her mind betraying her, what was real, and did it even matter to her.

Jane stopped crying and began to smile, she wiped her tears away with the palm of her hands. Jane knew in her heart that it didn't matter what the truth was, all that mattered was that she was here now, with Maura, and that's were she planned to stay.

"God, I've gone nuts." Jane said as she sat back and laughed.

* * *

><p>Maura sat with her hands entwined on top of a cold metal table. Frankie sat besides her, she could feel the tension wafting of of him like a cool breeze. They could both her distant sounds of metal doors being closed shut and men yelling, it was very unsettling. Frankie began to tap his long fingers on the metal table, Maura tried to ignore the irritating sound, but it proved o be to much. " Frankie would you mind very much putting a stop to that extremely irritating sound you are presently making."<p>

Frankie stopped and looked at his hand. "Sorry, kinds nervous."

Maura gave Frankie a faint smile, then looked to the clock on the wall. "It's been to long something is wrong." Maura said while keeping her eyes locked on the clock.

"It's not regular visiting hours, probably just taking a while to clear him for the visit." Frankie said trying to sound convincing.

Maura looked down at her hand and let out a long sigh, just as she was about to say something the door opened. Both frankie and maura looked up to see Doyle being escorted in. A C.O pulled Doyle's chair out for him, after he was seated his hands were placed on top of the table and his handcuffs were chained to it. Doyle remained void of any emotion while the C.O's were in the room, he only looked at Maura.

"You have an hour." A corrections officer stated.

"Thank's." Frankie responded.

Doyle smiled and sighed. "So I take it by his presence that this is not a friendly visit." Doyle said as he looked from Frankie to Maura.

"We knew you wouldn't agree to talk with out her here." Frankie said.

"Right, ...so are you going to tell me why the need for this impromptu visit, I doubt your here to check in on me." Doyle said as his gaze remained on Maura.

"Jane sent us..." Frankie began to speak but was cutoff by Doyle.

"How is Rizzoli? I hear not to good." He said with a devious smile.

"Where not here to catch up Doyle."Frankie said his voice beginning to rise.

Maura placed a hand on Frankie's forearm, but never looked away from Doyle. Frankie cleared his throat and took a breath allowing the hatred he had for this man to take a backseat to their agenda. He had to keep his emotions in check if they were to achieve their goal. Frankie spoke again. "We have information that you are in Danger, Flannigan has placed a hit on you."

Doyle removed his gaze from Maura and looked at Frankie. "You think that's news to me, why do you care?" As he finished saying this he turned his head back to Maura. "Is that why you're here? You wanted to warn me."

Maura could see the hope in his evil eyes, hope that Maura cared. "We came to warn you cause if you die, Jane and the kids are at risk. That is the only reason why we would even care to warn you." Frankie answered.

Doyle set his jaw, he was becoming angry. " You gonna do all the talking, cause if so we got nothing left to talk about."

"You'll leave when we say you can leave." Frankie's anger had returned. Both men sat staring at each other neither willing to back down. Maura could sense that it was now time for her to intervene, they were going to fail if she didn't. Muara sat up a little straighter looking directly in Doyle's eyes. "You wont leave, you can't, because even though you would have me believe that you don't care anymore we both no that not to be the truth. From the moment you entered the room I could see the hope in your eyes, nothing you can say will prove otherwise. Unfortunately I am not here for you, I'm here for my family. The ones that you so selfishly took advantage of, my family has been put in a situation that you will help us out of."

Doyle chuckled. "You come here after not speaking a word to me in years, and expect me to jump when you say. You got some nerve, despite what you think you see there is no hope for anything with you, especially not after you married that bitch cop."

"JANE, her name is Jane. You will not talk ill of her, ever." Maura yelled as she shot up from her chair smacking both hands down flat on the table.

Frankie placed a hand on Maura's shoulder, easing her back down into her chair. Once she was settled back in to the chair Frankie spoke to Doyle, deciding on a different tactic. "Listen despite what you feel for my sister, this is your daughter, those kids are your grandchildren, you have to help them."

"I stop needing to help when she decided to marry the woman who tried to kill me." Doyle spat out angrily.

"She shot you in self defense, you have to let that go. I know how much you care for Maura don't let your anger get in the way of that." Frankie said

"Please.."Maura said softly.

Doyle watched as tears began to fill Maura's eyes. He knew he still cared very much for her, she was his blood, his life, his daughter. He had done so much to make her life miserable for choosing Jane over him, he wondered if maybe it was enough, maybe it was time to let it go. He wanted so much to have a relationship with Maura but his life didn't afford him the pleasure of family. Doyle thought about where he was, behind bars for the foreseeable future. What chance did he have to be a father, a grandfather, none from where he sat. He felt he needed to listen to hear his daughter out, he owed her that much. "What do you want from me?"

"We need your cooperation." Frankie said.

"Why do I get the feeling it's a lot more than just cooperation." Doyle said

"What I'm about to propose is a lot I realize that, but what I'm offering in return will make it worth it." Frankie stated

"Doyle...we need you to help us set up Flannigan." Frankie said cautiously.

Doyle looked from Maura to Frankie and back again. "This some sorta joke...I'm no rat."

"We are not asking you to rat anybody out just help us arrange a meeting with Flannigan. Help us put him in a place where he will talk, hopefully he'll talk enough so that no one else has to." Maura said anxiously

Doyle shook his head looking down at his cuffed hands, laughing to himself. "You can't be serious, if I do that word gets out and I'm a dead man."

"We are prepared to offer you freedom and a new identity. It's your chance to start over Doyle." Frankie said.

"Please, do this for me. I have never asked you for anything Doyle, please." Maura begged.

Doyle stared out the window covered in bars, contemplating his answer. What they were offering seemed to good to be true. He often sat in his cell and dreamed of another life, one where he could have all the things he was forced to give up due to his lifestyle. "I need some time."

"We don't have much." Maura responded.

"How can I be sure you can give all you promise." Doyle asked.

"The feds will be involved, you will get everything in writing from them." Frankie answered.

"That's not very comforting...the feds lie just as much as you cops." Doyle said

Maura placed her hand on Doyle's hand. " You have my word, you have Jane's as well. If you help us, help me...we will get you out of here." She said as she stared into his eyes.

Doyle looked down to the hand that rested on his, he wished that she was touching him under different circumstances. Doyle knew that Maura was only reaching out to him, showing him affection, because she needed his help. That didn't matter though, he craved a familial bond with her. He knew that it was to late for that though, there was no going back from what he has done to her, to her family, but he could make the right choice now. Doyle knew that in order to start over he had to make this wrong right, he had to help Maura.

"Ok..what do you want me to do." Doyle said as he felt Maura squeeze his hand.

Maura released a breath she had been holding in anticipation of Doyle denying there request. She never thought that he would so readily agree to turn his back on all that he has built up. Maura was so grateful for whatever had swayed him in their favor that she didn't waste time dwelling on it, she just smiled and squeezed his hand showing her appreciation. "Thank you Doyle..Than..." Maura said as she began to choke up, she cleared her throat and wiped the tears from her eyes with her free hand. "You have no idea what this means to me, that you are willing to give everything up, to give my family a chance."

"I may have gone about things all the wrong way, I made decisions that affected you, that forced you to turn your back on me, but you have to know that I have regretted those decisions ever since the day you walked away. This is my chance to show you that I care, that I have always cared." Doyle responded.

Both father and daughter sat there smiling at each other holding hands. A truce had been called in that moment, one both had been in need of. Frankie took a breath and placed his hands on the table. " We need you to set up a meet with Flannigan, tell him that you need to speak to him about his vendetta with Jane. At the meet you tell him that you are willing to give up a piece of your operation if he backs off Jane and her family for good."

"I see how that helps you but how does that help the feds?" Doyle asked.

"We need whomever you send to the meeting to get Flannigan to talk about the hits he's placed on people, his drug operation, and whatever else that will put his back to the wall." Frankie stated.

"That's not gonna be easy, Flannigan is not very trusting to just start talking." Doyle responded.

"If you send someone high up in your organization, someone he would never suspect of working with the cops, he just might talk enough for us to put him away long enough for him to loose control." Frankie said.

"You know that would have to be life for him to loose control, right. Life with no parole." Doyle said as he sat back in his chair, beginning to question the success of this operation.

"Look I know it sounds like a long shot, but it's the only option we have." Frankie said as he repositioned himself in his chair.

"Well you do have luck on your side, I mean who would of thought I would so readily agree to help." Doyle chuckled.

"Yeah well about that, Jane never leaves anything to chance. She has enough evidence on you to put you away forever and than some." Frankie said as he looked down at his hands than back up again.

Doyle looked at Frankie with anger in his eyes. "How does she have this..evidence?"

"Let's not get angry Dole after all you did force her to be a Confidental informant. Did you really think she would just let that go." Frankie responded with just as much anger.

"Well maybe I need to rethink things." Doyle said glaring at Frankie.

Maura could sense that things were about to go wrong, she decided to step in. "Dad please...please don't" She said as she reached her hand out waiting for Doyle to take it.

Doyle sat back in his chair glaring at Frankie not liking the fact that they were going to force his hand. That they never planned on asking for his cooperation, they planned on taking it. Everything in him yelled to tell them to go to hell and leave, that is until he heard the one thing he thought he would never hear. "Dad" that one word seemed to draw him back to the reasons he first agreed to help. That one word was all it took to cool his anger, to tame his stubborn side that wanted to renege. "Let me be clear...the_ only_ reason I will still help is because of her." Doyle said as he pointed to Maura, while he still glared at Frankie.

"Noted." Frankie said.

"Thank you." Maura said as she received Doyle's hands in her's.

"Give me a day to work things out I'll be in touch." Doyle said

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you for the well wishes i really take them to heart. To the reviewer who had some issue with some of my spellings, I apologize as I said in the beginning this is my first ever story and I am bound to make a few mistakes. I hope you all enjoy the chapter it took a lot to write it especially being so heavily medicated from the surgery lol, enjoy and as always your feedback is appreciated. **


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Maura returned to the hospital with what she deemed to be great news. She couldn't wait to tell Jane, as she entered the room though she could sense that something was wrong. "Jane...Jane honey, what's wrong?"

Jane was laying flat on her bed staring straight up at the ceiling. "Do you ever wonder what our life's would be like if we hadn't got together."

"No, No I don't because that's not a life I would prefer to live." Maura said as she walked closer to Jane. She put her purse down on the chair, then she sat down on the edge of the bed pulling Jane's right hand in to hers. "Why would you think about that Jane."

Jane sighed and rolled her head to the side to look at Maura. " I remember it all, every detail of our life together."

"That's great Jane.." Maura began to speak but was interrupted by Jane sighing and looking away stopping the huge smile that was beginning to form on Maura's face.

"It's not as great as you think, I have all these memories of a life I _haven't_ lived. There's happiness, lots of happiness but there's also so much pain. And I cant help but wonder if you'd been better off with out me." Jane said.

"Jane look at me...please, look at me." Jane rolled her head to the side looking at Maura."I can never forget the pain I felt in our relationship, I just cant, but I know that the happiness outweighs the pain every time. I also know that I wouldn't change a thing if it means that I get you, you Jane Rizzoli are my soulmate, for better or worse, if you recall." Maura said to Jane as her eyes began to water.

Jane huffed and looked away sitting up in her bed. "See all I do is make you cry." She said.

Maura had enough of this self deprecating behavior especially after the morning she had. "ENOUGH, I will not sit here and listen to all the reasons why you should not be in my life. Jane do you think I would still be here, still married to you if I didn't want to be. I'm here because _I want_ to be, not out of obligation, but out of a want to be by your side through it all. Please don't ever question that again."

Jane sat there feeling like an idiot for putting Maura through pain once again. "I'm sorry Maur, please know that I do love you and know that you love me. I'm just an over thinking idiot, I'm so sorry."

Maura chuckled. " You are an idiot, but your my idiot." Jane's mouth dropped open. "Did you just make a joke at my expense, Maur."

"I believe I did." Maura said with a smile as she kicked of her shoes and began to lay down with Jane. They both laid there in each others arms. Maura rested her head on Jane's chest, her legs draped over Jane's. "It was a good one." Jane spoke into Maura's hair as she kissed Maura's head. "Thank you, now do you want to hear about my morning." Maura asked. "Yes, please." Jane answered.

Maura began to write on a note pad that she brought up with her when Jane stopped her. "Maur you don't need to do that we can talk freely, there's no need to worry about wires."

"You said that we couldn't remove them though." Maura questioned.

"Cause we cant." Jane said.

Maura looked on confused. "What am I missing." she asked.

"While you were out Korsak stopped by, he dropped off this." Jane held up a small black device that had a white switch on it. "All I had to do is hit the switch and it basically blocks out all sound from the wires, we can talk freely." she said.

"It blocks out the sound...how?" Maura asked.

"It's all very technical Maur, just know that it does." Jane said as she cleared her throat.

Maura smiled. " You don't know, do you."

Jane rolled her eyes. " I know it's just, well you see...ok I have no idea." Both Jane and Maura began to laugh.

"Are you sure I can speak freely?" Maura asked, Jane nodded her reply.

Maura began to recount the events of this morning, telling Jane every detail of her meeting with Doyle. Jane laid there listening tightening her grip on Maura. She was astounded at the fact that Doyle agreed to help with out the need of the evidence they had against him. "I'm sorry it's gonna take a while to get it in my head that DOYLE, the mob boss, the bane of our existence just agreed to help. You sure there was no angle?"

"We agreed to give him full immunity and a pardon, with entrance into witness protection. He wants to start over apparently." Maura said as she stroked Jane's arm.

"How do you feel about that? This man is your father and you will never see him again." Jane asked.

Maura though about how to answer that before she spoke." I'm okay with it." When she felt Jane shift to look at Maura's face she looked up into Jane's eye's." Really I have made my peace with not being a part of his life a while ago Jane, I'm okay, really."

"You never cease to surprise me you know that. You are the strongest woman I know." Jane said as she kissed Maura's forehead. " I beg to differ." Maura said.

Jane chuckled than became somber " So should we talk about tonight." Jane could feel Maura stiffen at the mention of tonight.

"I would rather not." Maura spoke in a whisper.

"Maur." Jane warned. "We cant ignore this, I'd like us to be prepared."

Maura sat up, ran her hands through her hair than looked back at Jane who know had her left hand bent under her head and her right hand on Maura's back. "I know it's just for show but I am stil very frightened." Maura said.

"What scares you?" Jane asked.

Maura looked away. " What if you can't be revived, what if I never..." Maura stood up, placing her shoes back on her feet, pacing next to Jane's bedside. "I need you to come back to me." Maura said as she stood next to Jane.

Jane pressed the button on her bed side raising her head. " Maur I will do everything in my power to come back to you, I promise. If the worst should happen and I don't please tell me you will move on if not for me then for the kids."

Maura stopped pacing and wiped at the tears that had fallen on her cheeks. She looked away from Jane and placed on hand on her hip the other covered her face not wanting Jane to see the tears that now flowed freely. Jane needed to hold her wife in that moment, she needed to comfort her physically because at this moment words have failed her. Jane stood up from her bed and placed her arms around Maura's waist slowly as not to startle her. Maura lowered her hand and placed both arms by her side, looking away from Jane. Jane smiled a deep smile showing her dimples. " You cant hide from me, Maur."

"I don't want to be comforted, I want this to be not happening." Maura said as she looked at Jane.

"Maura Rizzoli, put your hands around me." Jane requested.

Maura sighed than she slowly moved her arms up Jane's and wrapped her around Jane's neck allowing Jane to pull her in tighter. Jane continued to smile as she placed a kiss on Maura's cheek, her nose, and her lips. Jane had intended for the kiss to be chaste , but as soon as her lips molded to Maura's plans changed. The kiss deepened both woman felt the need to feel a part of the other. Jane ran her tongue over Maura's top lip wanting entrance, Maura granted her such. Their tongue's danced sensually, moans came from both woman. Jane ran her hands up Maura's back, Maura pulled her's through Jane's curly hair.

Jane was the first to pull away, she rested her head on Maura's and spoke breathlessly. "As much as I would really, really love to continue this, one of us needs a little more oxygen these days."

"Oh Jane I'm so sorry, it's just been so long and I really need you right now." Maura said with an apologetic look.

Jane smiled and lifted Maura's chin up so that they were facing each other. "I'm so sorry Maur, I know this has been hard but it will all be over soon." Jane placed a simple kiss to Maura's lips.

Jane brushed a strand of Maura's hair back behind her ear, they were both painfully aware of Jane's meaning. Tonight they were going to stop Jane's heart and there was always the chance of things going wrong. Not to mention they still had a brain tumor to deal with, one that had already taken so much from their lives. Jane could sense that all this weighed heavily on Maura, she didn't want to make it worse but she had to make sure Maura would be okay, so she brought the subject up. "Tonight...it's going to be ruff, you know."

"It's a necessary evil." Maura stated.

"A necessary one yes, but an extremely painful one, and I want you to be okay." Jane said.

Maura took in a breath and held on to Jane's hands. "I'm not going to lie."

"You cant lie, Maur." Jane interrupted.

"Yes, well, anyway." Maura said with a slight smile at the interruption. "It is going to be very painful to watch, to see the person I love...die."

"Temporarily." Jane said.

"It better be Jane Rizzoli, you better come back to me." Maura demanded.

"Always." Jane answered.

"So I had Planned on asking the doc to come in and give me the full details with what's gonna happen tonight. I take it you'd like to be here for that." Jane said, Maura glared at Jane. " You think." Maura stated.

Jane rolled her eyes. "There's no need to get snippy, I just thought that maybe I could..."

"You could what Jane, keep me in the dark, take all this on your own. Tell me how has that worked for you in the past." Maura said as she stood up placing a hand on her hip and glaring at Jane.

Jane ran her hands over her face and sat up straight breathing heavily at the small exertion. "Maura I don't want to fight, I'm just trying to protect you from any more pain. It's bad enough you have to watch me die, do you really need to know how there gonna prepare my body for the morgue, or how there going to make you sign papers for my death certificate."

"Yes, yes I do. Unlike you I like to be prepared...Jane please understand as painful as it will be to hear those things, nothing would compare to the pain of not knowing." Maura started off loud but ended in almost a whisper, wiping a lone tear from her eye.

"Jesus Maur don't, please don't cry, I'm sorry. I forget sometimes how your mind works, you thrive off knowledge. Come here, lets call Dr. Becher together, if that's ok." Jane said as she reached for her burner phone. Maura shook her head yes and sat down on the edge of Jane's bed, she reached for Jane's hand stilling her motions. " I love you Jane." Maura spoke. "I love you too." Jane said as she lifted Maura's hand and kissed her knuckles. Jane than dialed Dr. Becher's number.

"Dr. Becher."

"Hi doc it's Jane Rizzoli, can you come to my room we need to talk." Jane asked.

"On my way." Dr. Becher said.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Sorry for the lack of updates, life happens! Thank you to all those who are still with me and all who have PM me with uplifting messages. I hope you enjoy, please review I thoroughly enjoy reading all of them and welcome any constructive criticism you may have.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Dr. Becher arrived fairly quickly, he was curious as to why he was summoned to Jane's room. He was also worried that Jane would try to postpone things yet again. When he arrived Maura was sitting in the chair to the right of Jane's bedside, Jane had the bed inclined so that she was sitting up. "Dr. Becher thanks for coming so quickly." Jane stated.

"Your welcome, why did you need to see me Jane?" Dr. Becher asked.

Jane looked over at Maura while saying. "We have some questions about tonight."

Dr. Becher looked mortified he couldn't understand why Jane would talk so freely when they were both aware of the listening devices. He stepped forward and spoke quietly. "Jane what are you doing?"

Jane reached over to the rolling table that was placed on her left side grabbing the scrambler. She held it up so that the doctor could see it. "This device allows us to speak freely."

Dr. Becher smiled. " That's handy."

"Yeah, right." Jane chuckled.

Maura just sat there with a forced smile on her face she was anxious. " Doctor we need..I need you to walk through the events that will take place this evening." she said.

Jane placed the scrambler back down on the table and held her hand out waiting for Maura to take hold of it. Dr. Becher pulled another chair up to Maura and cleared his throat preparing to explain the details of Jane's mock death. Jane squeezed Maura's hand silently asking her if she was ready, Maura shook her head yes, smiled, then turned her head to look at the doctor.

"Tonight I will come to check on you, when I do I will administer the drug that will cause your vitals to slow and eventually stop all together. The process will not be easy to go through, you will experience chest pains, nausea, shortness of breath, and dizziness. Shortly after those symptoms begin your heart will begin to slow than stop all together, it will be scary to go through and even scarier to watch." He said that last part as he turned to look at Maura.

Maura could feel the tears making their way to her eye's, but she did her best to keep them at bay not wanting to show Jane how much this was effecting her, she wanted to be strong for Jane. " Then what?" She asked as she cleared her throat trying in vain to make her voice sound steadier than it was.

"I will leave the room after administering the drug, the nurses will call me when they see your vitals beginning to drop on the monitor. By the time I get to the room Jane's heart will either have stopped or on its way to stopping. Now here is the tricky part, in order to make sure we can bring her back I have to administer the antidote, but I can't do that without drawing attention to myself. We only have ten minutes at best to insure there is no brain damage from lack of oxygen, so what I was thinking you should do is sign a DNR, do not resuscitate. This will make it so that I can call time of death and clear everyone out of the room quickly, if we don't have that DNR the staff will expect to work you as a code which could take a lot longer than ten minutes, and will be unsuccessful." Dr. Becher said.

"I know one if not more of the nurses are working for Flannigan. You're going to need to be careful, you will be watched every step." Jane said.

"I'll be careful, do you know which nurses?" The doctor asked.

"Trudy and the red head who works nights are the ones I'm liking the most for mole's." Jane said.

"Does Frankie or Korsak know about this?" Maura asked

"Yeah I spoke to Korsak about it when he was here. He's gonna try to get evidence on them so that when the Flannigan bust goes down so do they." Jane responded.

"Ok so then what?" Jane asked as she looked to the doctor.

"If all goes according to plan I'll administer the antidote, it will slowly bring your vitals back but they will be faint undetectable to monitors. I'll call the morgue and have you transported down, once there I will cash in on every favor I have." The doctor said as he ran his hand through his graying hair.

"Jane how can we be sure that Flannigan's men or another mole doesn't follow your body to the morgue?" Maura asked.

"Once the night watch mole reports to Flannigan that I died there will be no need for further exploration, hopefully." Jane said with a sigh.

"Will they not want to see your body as proof at some point?" The doctor asked.

"Well for once Doyle has come through, he has arranged a meet with Flannigan tomorrow night. So hopefully by the time I'm brought into surgery his whole operation will be crashing down around him. Everyone will be so concerned with saving their asses that no one will be concerned with mine."Jane said.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but you sure you don't want to wait and avoid our plan all together." Dr. Becher said

Jane shook her head. " We cant, just because he's arrested doesn't mean his reach will be diminished. We would have to wait weeks for the surgery before I could be sure that he's no longer able to go after my family for defying him."

"We don't have weeks." Dr. Becher said.

"Exactly why we stick to your plan." Jane responded.

"Where will I be while all this is happening?" Maura asked.

"You will be by my side the entire time." Dr. Becher responded.

Maura sighed and looked to Jane with a reassuring smile. "You sure your up for this Maur." Jane asked. Maura stood up and placed a gentle kiss to Jane's lips. "I'm sure." she replied.

"Okay well than I'll have one of the nurses come in with the DNR paperwork for you to fill out. Unless something comes up before tonight I'll see you later Jane." Dr. Becher said as he placed his hands in his pockets.

"Hey doc... thanks!" Jane said.

Dr. Becher smiled at Jane and looked to Maura seeing the anguish in her eye's he placed a hand on her forearm. " You are both welcome." before turning to walk away.

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><p><strong>AN Short chapter but a necessary one. Some of you have pointed out my grammatical errors, sorry about that, will try to do better. **


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

After Dr. Becher left the room Jane and Maura remained in their seats, or bed in Jane's case, and held hands. Both woman had a lot on their minds yet so little time to speak. Jane had not only Maura on her mind but also her family, how would they handle her death, how would they handle knowing it was all a ruse, and would they forgive her for not including them in on the plan. Jane thought back to all the lies she told Maura and all the plans she held from her, she now knew the outcome of those decisions led to the dismantle of their relationship, Jane wasn't so sure anymore about lying to her family.

Maura could tell that Jane was debating something very serious in her mind, she could see the emotions flicker through her eyes. In past experiences Maura would wait for Jane to come to her, but with so little time and with so much at risk she wouldn't wait for Jane this time. "What are you thinking?" she asked.

Jane rolled her head to the side looking at Maura. "I don't want there to be any more lies."

"Meaning." Maura asked becoming increasingly nervous.

"I want to tell Ma, Frankie, and Korsak of our plans, I can't do this to them, I can't make them feel as though I didn't trust them enough to include them. I need you to be with me on this Maur, please understand." Jane said.

Maura released a breath she had been holding as she prepared her self for the worst. She then looked to Jane, a smile turned into a laugh. "Ughh, you ok Maura." Jane asked confused. "Yes I'm fine, I just..I.. well never mind it doesn't matter." Maura responded as she looked lovingly in to Jane's eyes.

"O...k, you sure you don't want to tell me why you laughed at me when I was being completely serious, I sure would like to know what's so funny." Jane said getting a little irritated.

Maura stood up and kissed Jane's cheek. "I was not laughing at you, I was relieved. There have been so many moments in our life that were ruined due to lies, that when you said you did not want any more I was scared. Then you said what you did and I was relieved, that's all Jane." Maura pulled Jane's hand up to her mouth and kissed it. " I'm sorry, old habits." she said.

"No Maura you have nothing to apologize for, It's all my fault, all of it." Jane began to say but was stopped by Maura's lips on hers. "Shhh, Let's not waste time with the past, we will have plenty of time for that when you are better." Maura spoke mere inches from Jane's lips. Jane smiled and ran her hands through Maura's hair pulling her in for a kiss.

Both woman halted their movements when Jane's phone rang. Maura stood up with a smile on her face, "You should answer that." Jane pouted but answered the phone with a groan. " Rizzoli."

"Ma."

"Jack." Jane asked.

"How are you feeling? Are you coming home soon? Can I see you?" Jack asked hurriedly.

Jane smiled at Maura. "Whoa, Jack buddy slow down."

"Sorry Ma, I just miss you."

"I miss you to bud, do you know how much I love you?" Jane asked

"How much?" Jack asked.

"I love you to the moon and back." Jane said.

"Well I love you to the moon, Jupiter, mars the sun and back." Jack said with a giggle.

"Wow that's a lot."

"Yup, so I win." Jack said

"Let's call it a tie. what are you up to bud." Jane asked

"Coloring with Nonna, whatcha doin?" He asked

"I'm sitting here with Mommy thinking of you and your sister."

"Can we com there? are the doctors making you all better?" Jack asked.

Jane looked over at the clock and saw that it was three thirty she then responded. "Yeah how bout I get nonna to bring you and your sister by for a quick visit." Maura stilled the hand that was rubbing Jane's forearm at that last comment. Jane put her hand over the receiver and whispered. " Maur I need this." Maura shook her head yes

Jane could hear Jack yelling to Angela that ma said we can see her than heard the phone being passed to Angela. "Janie."

"Hi Ma." Jane said.

"Did you really say that you want the kids to see you?" Angela asked.

"Yeah Ma I did, could you bring them by in the next hour." Jane asked.

"Uhh, yeah sure, they will love that."

"Great, and Ma could you call Frankie and bring him with you too."

"Is everything all right Jane."Angela asked.

"Yeah everything is fine Ma, just want to see you." Jane said.

"Ok Janie will be there soon, Love you."

"Love you too Ma."

Jane than called Korsak and asked him to come to the hospital on her burner phone. " I think this is a good idea Jane, I don't believe your brother would ever forgive you for not trusting him with this." Maura said.

"I feel good about the decision." Jane said.

Maura smiled and said. "Well if were about to get a visit from the kids and the rest of the family, I need coffee."

"HMMM, coffee." moaned.

"Sorry Jane, you know you can't have any caffeine, doctors orders." Maura said.

"Really...Yours or Dr. Becher?" Jane Glared.

"Both." Maura giggled.

"...Fine." Jane sucked her teeth.

Maura waved goodbye as she left, Jane laid her head back against the bed. She took a deep breath as she thought of everything that was to take place in the following hours. Jane was sure this was the best plan for the situation, but she feared how her family would take it.

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><p><strong>AN Again a short chapter I apologize for the abrupt ending, but this thu I lost a very close family member. I wanted to have this chapter go through Jane telling her family about her fake death and also end with Jane going through with the plan, but to many feelings surrounded that, ones I'm not ready to deal with. I sincerely apologize for not giving you want and what I'm sure you have been waiting for, I promise the next chapter will encompass all that the story has been leading up to. Thank you for those of you who are willing to wait.**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N I hope you enjoy this chapter, it was very cathartic for me. Thank you for all the condolences, I appreciate each one. This is by far my longest chapter so I hope you enjoy. As always I would love to hear your reviews, I read each one and try my best at working in your constructive criticism, ideas, and worries. Thank You!  
><strong>

**Trigger warning this chapter speaks of a character death, but not to worry...maybe! (insert me dodging the CPU's and other electronics being thrown my way.)**

"Ma!" The twins yelled. Angela walked in behind them with a smile on her face. It was hard not to smile when you saw how happy the kids were to see there mom. Both kids ran up to Jane's bed, they were enveloped in a hug from her. She positively loved her children especially now that she remembered every moment of their time together. Angela noticed the tears in Jane's eyes as she helped the children up on to her bed, laughing and kissing each one. Maura walked in with her coffee a moment later smiling brightly at the scene in front of her, the twins being tickled by Jane. There was a lightness in the room finally, unfortunately it would be short lived once reality came crashing back in to their minds.

"Jane please be careful" Maura said as she noticed Jane having difficulty breathing.

"Why do you need to be careful Ma?" Jackson asked.

Jane's smile faltered for a second, she wasn't sure how to answer the questions she knew the kids would surely have. How do you explain to children so young that mom has a brain tumor that may be cancer, they told the kids that Jane was sick before her admittance to the hospital, but they hadn't gone in to detail. Maura noticed Jane's hesitance and approached the bed grabbing hold of her son's small hand. She looked to Jane for permission to take the lead on this conversation, Jane shook her head yes.

"Love, Ma has what's called a tumor in her brain, it is making ma sick." Maura said.

Jackson looked to Jane pondering what he was just told, he than looked back to Maura. "Can I see it?" he asked.

"Can you see the tumor, No it's inside Ma's head." Maur replied

"If I had x-ray vision I could though." Jackson stated matter of factly.

Jane and Maura giggled. " Yeah than you could, but than you'd be superman instead of my handsome son." Jane said as she ruffled his hair.

"Nooo, than I'd be me but with x-ray vision." Jackson said while pushing Jane's hand away.

"Oh_ excuse_ me." Jane laughed.

Maura looked to Bella she noticed that she had become withdrawn, Bella was so much like her, very analytical. So Maura knew that she was going over everything she had heard and was trying to make sense of it. "Bella sweetie, do you have any questions?" Maura asked.

"No" Bella said as she climbed off the bed, she pulled her coloring book out of her bag and began to draw on the desk that was across from the foot of Jane's bed. Jane looked to Maura, they both knew that this conversation was bothering Bella but she was to scared to continue on with it. Maura knew her daughter enough to give her the space that she needed right now.

"Are you gonna die Ma?" Jack suddenly asked. "Freddy's grandpa had a tumor and he died." He continued.

Jane was caught off guard by the question she sat there with her mouth open trying to figure out how to respond to Jack's question. She looked to Maura who seemed just as stunned, Angela spoke up seeing as both woman seemed at a loss. " Honey Ma isn't gonna die, she just needs to be here a little while in order to get better."

"Angela that's not entirely true." Maura looked over her shoulder at Angela as she spoke.

"What do you mean that's not true." Angela asked as she began to become anxious.

"Ma please ha, not in front of the kids." Jane said as she glared at her mother.

"Jane." Angela said as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Jackson, honey it's true a tumor caused your friends grandfather to pass away, but we don't have all the information about Ma's tumor yet. Ma is strong and she has so much to live for so let's not think like that right now." Maura said as she stroked her sons hand with her thumb.

Jane was still looking at her mother silently asking her to not cause a scene in front of the kids when she felt Jack put his arms around her neck and kiss her cheek. Jane wrapped her arms around his tiny body, relishing the feeling of holding her son. "What's that for buddy?" Jane asked as Jack pulled away.

"Cause I love you." He said. Jane began to tear up again, Maura rubbed circles on her leg as she to began to well up with tears.

Jack jumped off the bed and grabbed his Ipad, he sat down on the couch that was against the windows. Jane wiped at the tears that formed in her eyes with the back of her hands. Maura wiped at her tears with a tissue she had in her pocket, she stood from the bed. Angela still stood with her hands on her hips." There's something your not telling me and I would like it if you spilled it...now." she said.

"Not in front of the kids Angela." Maura said.

"When than?" Angela asked.

"Ma I asked Korsak and Frankie to come down when they get here we'll talk." Jane said.

Angela covered her mouth with her hand stifling the sob that crept up on her. She knew by Jane's tone and need to wait for the boys that something was seriously wrong. She sat down with a thud in the chair that was to her left. Jane and Maura tended to the kids while she sat there trying to not let her fears get the best of her as they waited for Korsak and Frankie.

After a few moments Frankie and Korsak showed up. Jane looked up from her seat on the couch with Jack and Maura stopped her coloring with Bella. Jane looked to Maura. " Babe could you get the kids some dinner." Jane asked.

"Yes..Come children lets go try to find something nutritious to eat." Maura said to the twins as she helped them to the door, she turned around and winked at Jane before leaving.

"OK there here now talk...please." Angela asked as hse stood from her chair.

"Yeah why are we here Jane?" Korsak asked.

"Hey Janie." Frankie said.

"Alright well there's something I need to tell you three, something that will undoubtedly effect you." Jane said.

"Jane what ever it is we're here for you." Frankie said.

Jane took a deep breath and walked over to her bed with her mother's assistance, she was unsteady on her feet. Once in her bed she began to tell the three of them what Dr. Becher had planned for her tonight. She recounted every detail, her fake death, her transfer to the morgue, and than a transfer to another hospital. She also explained to them that they would have to make everyone believe that they were grieving her death or it would all be for nothing. As she spoke she could see the emotions washing over each of their faces, Jane could tell the exact moment when what she was saying had sunk in.

"So that's what I called you all here for...any questions." Jane asked nervously.

Angela, Korsak, and Frankie all stood there looking at Jane. No one knew what to say, Jane just told them that she would be involved in what sounded like a very questionable method of faking her death. She had explained that there was a risk that it would not work and that she wanted them to know of the plan so as not to make any of them feel that she didn't believe that they could be trusted with this information.

"Why the hell would you do something so stupid!" Angela was the first to speak she was outraged at what she just heard.

"Ma, please try to understand this is the only way. If we wait any longer for my surgery my health could be compromised. I have trouble walking and had a seizure already I'm getting worse, we need to find out why." Jane said

"Janie she doesn't know everything." Frankie said.

Jane just stared at her brother before opening her mouth than closing it not knowing what to say. Once her brain caught up with her mouth she spoke through her teeth. "I told you to tell her."

Frankie stepped closer to Jane's bed." No, no you didn't!"

Jane looked to Korsak who shook his head no, confirming what Frankie just said. Jane put her hands up to her face and groaned. "Stupid, stupid tumor." Jane looked up from her hands. "I'm sorry Frankie I thought I told you to tell her, my bad."

"It's ok Jane." Frankie said as he placed his hand on Jane's foot.

"Excuse me would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on, what don't I know?" Angela demanded.

"Ma there's a lot you don't need to know." Jane began to speak but was interrupted by Angela. " Like hell I don't." Angela said.

"Let me finish Ma, there are details you just can't know not yet anyway. I got myself in to some trouble with the Irish mob." Jane spoke as her mother placed her hand over her heart and gasped. " They threatened my family's lives if I fight whatever is going on with me. They threatened to kill Maura and the kids Ma, they threatened you, I cant let them take all of you away from me and I'll be damned if there going to take me from you."

"How does faking your death solve anything eventually your gonna have to come back if not we lost you anyway." Angela asked.

"Frankie, Korsak, and the FBI are working on a sting operation to take the guys who are threatening me down." Jane said.

"You agree with this?" Angela said as she turned her attention to Frankie.

"It's the only way Ma. Trust Jane she knows what she's doing." Frankie said as he placed a hand on Angela's shoulder.

Angela stood there contemplating all that she just heard. After a few moments she spoke quietly with tears in her eye's. "I...I can't be her right now." Angela stormed out of the room.

"Frankie." Jane said.

"I got it." Frankie said as he made his way to the door. " She cant speak of this outside this room Frankie." Jane reminded him.

"Don't worry." He said as he left.

Korsak walked over to a chair that was on the left side of Jane's bed he sat down. Korsak took in a deep breath than spoke. "So there's something I need to say." Jane interrupted him. "I'm coming back." Korsak smiled than sat forward in his chair to be closer to Jane. "I know you are kiddo, but there's something I need to say, and I need you to listen. I know we haven't been on good terms lately but I want you to know that I always thought of you as a daughter. Which is why I never left you even though you did your best to push everyone away. I...I love you Jane, always will too." Korsak became choked up so he coughed to clear his throat from the impending tears making their way up into his eyes.

Jane grabbed a hold of Korsak's hand. "I love you too old man." Jane said as she smiled brightly at Korsak.

Korsak chuckled at Jane's comment never the one to let things get to serious. As they both sat there holding hands Frankie and Angela walked back in, Frankie had a frustrated look on his face. "Ma." Jane said.

Korsak stood up and said goodbye to Jane, but not before promising to take down Flannigan and all involved so that she and Maura never had to worry again. Angela replaced him in the chair to Jane's left. "I don't like this." Angela whispered.

"Neither do I Ma, please believe me when I say that this is the only way." Jane said.

Angela stroked Jane's hand while wiping at the tears that wee falling from hr eyes. She looked up and in to Jane's eye's. "You're strong you can do this, and I'll be by your side the entire time, figuratively of course."

Jane pulled her mother in to a bone crushing hug, happy that she had come to terms with the plan. "Thank you Ma...I love you." Jane whispered in to her mothers ear.

"I love you so much Janie." Angela responded.

Frankie looked on at the scene before him with awe. Things have changed so much in such a short time, it wasn't but a week ago that Jane was at odds with her entire family and friends. Now he was watching his mother and sister in an embrace that spoke so much of their love for one another. Frankie began to tear up, he was afraid for his sister, he had a feeling that the worse was still to come.

A little while later Maura came back in with the kids. " Ma, mommy let us have hot dogs for dinner."

"She did, wow you are some lucky kids." Jane responded as she still held on to her mothers hand. Angela now sat back in the chair with Frankie at her side.

"Yes well it was that or deep fried chicken so I chose the lesser of two evils." Maura said while running her hands through Bella's hair.

Jane looked to Maura and noticed that she kept checking her watch. Dr. Becher told them that he would come to Jane's room with the medicine that would effectively stop her heart at seven, it was now five thirty. Jane wanted to make sure she conveyed her love to her family before they would have to leave in case disaster happened.

"Come here my babies." Jane asked. Jack came up to Jane's bed right away, it took some encouragement from Maura to get Bella to do the same.

"Can you help them on the bed." Jane asked as she looked to Maura. Angela let go of Jane's hand, reaching for Frankie's instead. Maura lifted both children on to the bed, she gave Jane a small smile as she positioned herself at the head of the bed so she could have access to Jane and the kids. Jane grabbed both kids hands in her own squeezing them softly, she had tears in her eye's.

"Do you two know how much I love you?" Jane asked the twins.

"How much." Jack asked.

"Bella do you know." Jane asked trying to get her to open up. Bella looked in to Jane's eye's with tears on her tiny cheeks.

"To the moon and back." Bella said in a soft voice.

"Times that by infinity, I can't love you enough. You are my reason for being, my everything, this piece of my heart right here." Jane said as she pointed to her heart. " Is where I keep my love for you Bella, this spot here is for you Jack." Jane said as she moved her finger down.

Bela began to cry, Jane scooped her up in her arms and held her close as she rocked back and forth. Jack looked on with tears in his eye's not quite understanding what was happening, but just seeing his sister so upset made him equally sad. Maura reached around her son from behind and hugged him whispering in his ear that everything would be okay. Jane tried her best not to cry so not to scare her children any further but holding a sobbing child in her arms feeling her shake with fear and sadness was to much for her, she let the tears flow free. By this time everyone in the room was crying some more than others, Frankie had to excuse himself in to the bathroom not wanting the others to see him cry.

Jane continued to hold on to her daughter, she looked up and reached her hand out for Maura's. Maura unwrapped one of her arms from Jack and held on to Jane's hand, feeling more like a bonded family in this moment than she has in months. After a few minutes both children calmed down and Maura spoke softly to Jane.

"We should probably prepare soon."

"Prepare for what mommy?" Jack asked.

"Ma has to have some... tests done soon, so your going to have to go home with Nona soon." Maura responded hoping that her play on the fact that they were testing this plan of Dr. Becher's not knowing if it would work, would keep her from getting hives.

"Nooo."Jack cried.

"Oh, buddy please don't get upset. " Jane said.

"I don't wanna leave." He said. Just than Frankie came out of the bathroom with red rimmed eye's. "Hey bud it will be ok, I'll come with you and we can play your new video game." Frankie said.

Jack looked to Maura for permission as she normally didn't approve of video games so late in to the night. Maura shook her head yes and smiled. "Ok can we go now." Jack said much happier.

Jane chuckled along with Maura's giggle. "Yes we can go now." Angela spoke as she stood up sadly.

Jane brushed her daughters long dark locks out of her face and looked down at her. "You ok now sweetie?" Jane asked her.

Bella shook her head yes against Jane's chest, reluctant to let go. Jane lifted her chin with a finger so as to look in her eye's. " Everything is gonna be just fine, I swear."

"Promise." Bella asked sweetly.

"Cross my heart." Jane responded with a smile and a wink.

Bella smiled and kissed Jane on the cheek before extracting herself from Jane's arms. Jack kissed Jane before they both climbed off the bed. Angela helped them get their bags together before turning to Jane, she walked over and hugged Jane with all that she had. She stroked Jane's arm before squeezing her hand, she than kissed her on the cheek. Before walking away Angela placed her hand on Jane's cheek and looked in to her eye's saying. " I'll see you soon... I never stopped loving you and never will. I have always been proud to call you my daughter, I love you Janie." Angela said as she kissed Jane one more time before walking over to the door waiting for the kids.

The twins kissed Jane one last time before giving Maura a hug and kiss, they then left with Angela. Frankie told Angela he would meet her at her home, Frankie walked over to Jane's bedside.

"Hey little brother." Jane said as she grabbed hold of his hand.

"Hey sis, I..I.." Frankie began but was interrupted by Jane.

"Don't...Don't you give up on me." Jane warned.

"I need you to know..." Frankie said but was yet again interrupted.

"I know Frankie, I know." Jane said as she squeezed Frankie's hand.

Frankie wiped at the lone tear that ran down his cheek with his free hand. He cleared his throat and said. " I'll see you soon."

"Yes you will." Jane responded. Frankie leaned down and hugged his sister before doing the same to Maura and leaving, but not before he gave Jane one last look.

Maura Gave Jane a sad smile as she walked over to her bed, she climbed on to the bed and snuggled in to Jane's left side, resting her head on Jane's shoulder. Maura wrapped her arm around Jane's waist, grabbing hold of her hospital gown.

"I love you." Jane said.

"I love you more." Maura responded.

Jane smiled turning her head to kiss the top of Maura's. " You ready?" Jane asked.

"You?" Maura asked.

"As long as you're with me." Jane said.

"Always Jane." Maura responded.

"What do you want to do while we wait?" Jane asked.

"I want you to hold me tight, I want you to tell me that everything will be okay, And I most definitely need you to teach me how to be strong." Maura responded.

"The first two I can do but as far as being strong you got that Maur. You are the strongest woman I know,Maura You have so much strength in you, I wish you could see what I do. You have dealt with so much in your life and you still walk with your head held high. You had to go through all the pain I put you through and yet you're still here lying in my arms and asking for my love. Some may say that shows weakness but I see it differently, I see it as taking strength to open your self up again and allowing your self to possibly be hurt. I need you to give me some of that strength now, because to be honest I'm scared Maur, I just got you and the kids back I can't lea..." Jane began to cry squeezing Maura in to her body.

Maura returned the strong hold that Jane had on her, she began to cry as well. Maura had rarely seen Jane cry, so to witness it now was heartbreaking. " I'm here Jane, I got you."

Both woman laid there holding each other and shedding tears as they waited for Dr. Becher, neither spoke again. They must have fallen asleep because before they knew it both woman were startled by the sound of the door closing. Dr. Becher was walking towards both woman showing no emotion.

"It's time." Dr. Becher said.

Maura sat up and ran her hands through her hair, than she stood up and straightened out her clothes wiping her hands at wrinkles. She looked to Jane giving her a reassuring smile. "Already." Maura asked Dr. Becher but never looked away from Jane.

"Yes." Dr. Becher responded.

"We're ready doc." Jane said as she looked in to Maura's eye's.

Jane grabbed hold of Maura's hands as the doctor walked over to Jane's right side. he pulled out a vile of medication and a syringe from his lab coat pocket. Dr. Becher plunged the syringe in to the vile pulling back on it filling the syringe. He placed the vile back in his pocket than pushed on the syringe releasing some of it's contents on to the floor. He opened a alcohol prep and wiped a port, he then placed the syringe in to the port on Jane's I.V tubing, before he pushed the medication in he spoke to both woman. " Ready for this?"

Jane shook her head yes, unable to speak as she was afraid that if she did her voice would betray her and say no. Maura could feel Jane shaking, she placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled down at her. Maura than leaned down and kissed Jane, she let her forehead rest on Jane's cheek as she spoke. " Do it."

Dr. Becher pushed the medication in to Jane's I.V, He than placed a cover on the syringe and placed it back in to his coat pocket. He sighed and said. "It's done, you should start feeling the effects in a few minutes. I'll give you two some time alone." Dr. Becher left the room.

Jane took in a couple of deep breaths before saying. " I don't feel any different."

"He said it would take a few minutes." Maura said as she remained in her position holding Jane's hands and resting her forehead on Jane's cheek. "Maur I need to shut off the blocking device and you need to hide it." Jane said.

"Okay." Maura said as she took the device and placed it in the pocket of her tailored pant's. Maura than settled back in to her position of resting her forehead on Jane's cheek and holding her hands.

Jane removed one of her hands from Maura's grasp and lifted Maura's face. Jane turned her head so that their faces were mere inches from each other. " I need you to promise me something." Jane said.

"Anything." Maura responded.

Jane smiled as she said. " If the worse is to happen I want you to mourn me forever. " Jane said with a chuckle.

Maura slapped Jane's arm as she stood up. Maura pulled Jane's hand up to her chest and leaned her head down to kiss Jane's knuckles. " I will never find another like you Jane Rizzoli." Maura wiped at a tear on her cheek with one hand while still holding Jane's hand to her chest.

"Damn right." Jane said a bit breathlessly.

"Jane are you alright?" Maura asked nervously.

"Maur, kiss me." Jane asked.

Maura leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Jane's soft lips. The kiss began to get heated as both woman felt the urgency of the moment. Maura pulled away and rested her forehead on Jane's, she also placed one hand on Jane's cheek the other rested on Jane's chest. " Your heart is beating erratically Jane."

"It's starting."Jane said.

"Nooo." Maura whispered.

"It's ok, everything will be ok." Jane whispered.

Maura could hear Jane's monitor begin to beep loudly and sporadically. "Jane stay a little longer, please."

"I... lo..ve...y..ou..." Jane stuttered as it was becoming hard to breath. " I love you Jane, I love you."

"It's... ha...rd to bre...athe, hu...rts ch...est." Jane was begining to panic she grabbed hold of the material over her chest. Maura held on to her other hand and turned her head so that Jane was facing her. " Look at me Jane, just keep looking at me."

Nurses and doctors came pouring in to Jane's room, the monitor in Jane's room is broadcasted at the nurses station so when they saw the abnormal readings the staff came to check on her. Nurses and doctors crowded Jane's bed pulling out stethoscopes, medications, and a crash cart. One nurse tried to get Maura to release her hold on Jane's hand. " Keep looking at me Jane." Maura said as she held on tight to Jane's hand.

"Ma'am you need to let go." A nurse spoke.

"NO." Maura yelled

"We need to get to her, let us help her." The nurse said.

Maura felt two strong hands on her shoulders, just as she was about to turn around and yell at whomever dared touch her at this moment she heard a voice whisper in her ear. "Let her go Maura." Dr. Becher said.

Maura reluctantly let go of Jane's hand and stepped back allowing the staff to gain better access to Jane. Jane had a breathing mask placed on her face but she never looked away from Maura, as the staff worked frantically to stabilize Jane the two women never stopped looking at each other.

It was getting increasingly harder for Jane to keep her eyes open, she felt as though they were being forced closed. Right before Jane closed her eye's for good she pulled the mask down from her face slowly and silently worded "I love you" to Maura.

Maura gasped and covered her mouth with her hands when Jane's eye's closed, immediately following that Jane's heart stopped. The room was filled with many sounds but the only one Maura could hear was the sound of the monitor flat lining. She fell back on a chair and sobbed as she wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth. The room was bustling with activity as the staff worked to start Jane's heart, but Maura knew that their attempts were futile.

"Time of death 1942." A doctor said.

"I'm sorry for your loss." A Doctor who walked over to Maura said. Maura just continued to sob

"We will give you some time with her." The doctor said.

The staff shut off Jane's monitor and removed all equipment that they used to save her, they all gave Maura remorseful looks as they left her and Dr. Becher alone in the room. Maura continued to sob as Dr. Becher kneeled down next to her chair, he placed a hand on her knee and whispered in her ear. " This is only temporary." Maura's head shot up and she glared at the doctor saying. " You better hope so."

Dr. Becher knew not to take Maura's comment personally she was grieving right now and people who are grieving can say harsh things. He stood up and checked to see if anyone was at the door before walking over to Jane. Maura was watching his every move as she tried to calm her self down. The doctor pulled out another syringe, this time he pierced the skin right between her upper and lower arm the area known as the Antecubital Fossa. He pushed on the syringe releasing the antidote in to Jane's bloodstream. He than walked over to Maura and whispered in her ear. " You have to walk away now, I need to get her down to the morgue before someone notices her breathing."

Maura looked straight ahead at Jane, she stood up and walked over to her. She stroked a lock of Jane's hair back, she then leaned down and kissed Jane gently on soft lips. As she stood up she placed a hand on Jane's heart and whispered. "Come back to me."

Maura than grabbed her purse and walked over to Dr. Becher stopping at his left side, looking straight ahead, and said. "You have my number."

Dr. Becher nodded his head and watched over his shoulder as the woman he has come to respect walked out of the room. He than walked over to Jane and thought, It's all up to you know. Dr. Becher walked out of the room hoping that he would find a breathing Jane Rizzoli the next time he see's her.

**Happy Memorial Day to all those in the states, and to all who have served this country proudly, I thank you for your service!**


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

Maura sits in her car staring blankly out the window. Her cell phone sits on her lap, she stopped checking it about ten minutes ago. She was waiting for Dr. Becher's phone call, waiting to hear that Jane is alive and asking for her. Maura never made it out of the hospital parking garage, she had no idea where to go, she was lost without Jane. Just as she began to wipe at the tears that were flowing freely from her cheeks with the palms of her hands she was startled by a knock on her driver side window.

Maura stared at the stranger standing outside her car, He had a smug smile on his face and stood with his hands in his pockets. Maura asked "Yes , can I help you." Through the window.

The man used his hand to gesture for Maura to roll down her window. "We need to talk Maura."

Maura was startled that the man knew her name, but decided to roll her window down anyway. She was feeling somewhat safe in the busy garage, and not thinking to clearly as her mind was elsewhere. "Is there something I can help you with."

"Flannigan sends his regards, he wants you to know that Jane's debt has been paid. You and your family are safe now."

Maura was stunned at the mans audacity to approach her just a mere hour after Jane's passing. She was outraged that they would smugly rub this fact in her face. The man had already turned and began to walk away when Maura stepped out of her car slamming the door behind her. "How dare you, you smug little bastard. You tell Flannigan that His days are numbered I will spend the rest of my life making his miserable, do you hear me?" she shouted.

The stranger kept his back turned to Maura until she got within inches of the man when he spun around on her and pulled his Jacket back revealing a hand gun, he smiled "Why don't you do your self a favor and move on, there's only one way this can end for you, you end up just like your beloved." He stated

Maura reached her hand out to slap the man across the face, but he was quicker than her. He grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her in to him, so that it would appear to passing strangers that they were merely hugging. He put his lips to her ear as she struggled to free her self. " Listen bitch, if you're as smart as they say you are you'll turn around and drive away, forgetting all about this. If not than you'll have two dead children to go along with that dead wife of yours." He freed Maura from his grasp, she stood there glaring at him. Maura decided that if she wanted to keep her kids safe she would not provoke the man further, she just reminded herself that soon men like him would no longer have control over her.

Maura began to walk backwards before turning towards her car, as she reached the door she stopped and looked over her shoulder, thinking to herself that she would make this man pay for threatening her children's lives. She than got back in to her car and pulled out of the parking space as the threatening stranger stood and watched. Maura started out for her home needing to be close to her children, just as she pulled in to her driveway her phone rang.

Maura's bluetooth screen read out Korsak. Maura closed her eyes trying to settle the beating in her chest as she thought the call would have been from Dr. Becher. She reached out to hit the accept button on the screen, it all seemed to be happening in slow motion to her. There was silence for a minute before Korsak spoke up. "Maura...Maura...you there?"

Maura opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. "Maura talk to me." Korsak said.

"Yes...I'm here Vince." Maura stated.

"Are you ok?" Korsak asked.

Maura thought as how to answer his question, she was in no way okay, but there was nothing he could do to make things better. She inhaled deeply than responded. "What can I do for you detective Korsak."

Korsak could tell by the shake to her voice and the way in which she responded to him that she was not okay, he also knew not to push Maura when she was deeply troubled. "I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you, and everything will be ok soon."

"Thank you Vince, I appreciate the sentiment." Maura responded.

Maura disconnected the phone call, she sat in the car for a moment more calming herself. She knew she had to face her children and there many questions about Jane. Maura knew that she could not lie to her children, but she did not want to break there hearts when she knew in hers that Jane would be coming home to them. She had to be believable though seeing as there was audio devices in her home, the ruse had to continue for now. Maura took a few deep breaths and checked her self in the rear view mirror before shutting her car off. Just as she opened the door and was set to step out her burner phone began to ring again. Not wanting to get her hopes up again she stepped out of her car and closed the door before she looked down to the screen of her phone. Maura's heart began to beat fast and her hands seemed to shake uncontrollably to the point she almost dropped her phone.

"Hello." Maura said.

"Maura can you talk freely?" Dr. Becher asked.

"Give me one minute." Maura said as she simultaneously tried to get back in to her car. She was sure there was no audio devices in her car, but she didn't want to talk out in the open. Maura slammed the door shut, took a calming breath and spoke. " I'm ready."

"There's someone here who needs to talk to you." Dr. Becher said.

There was a few moments of quiet before Maura heard the sweet sound of Jane's raspy voice. "Hi babe, we did it." Jane said.

Maura placed her hand over her mouth to hush the sob that came forth. Her eyes were immediately filled with tears, she was so relieved to hear from the one person she has been craving. As happy as she was initially she soon became filled with worry as her brain caught up with her heart and she registered the strain in Jane's voice. "Jane, sweetie, are you okay?" Maura asked.

"Me, I'm terrific." Jane responded with a chuckle that turned in to a cough and gasping. This terrified Maura she screamed over the phone. "JANE...JANE...WHAT'S HAPPENING?"

"Maura it's Dr. Becher Jane can't talk right now..." He was interrupted by Maura. "Why can't she, what's going on?"

"Maura we had to place Jane on a non-rebreather to give her some oxygen. There was a complication..."

Maura cut the doctor off again. " What kind of complication? You should have called sooner, where are you?"

"Maura, Maura please, try to calm down I'll explain everything to you when you get here. Meet us at North Shore Hospital in Salem, are you familiar with it?" Dr. Becher asked.

"Yes, yes I am. How will I find you?" Maura asked.

"Call me when you get here and I will meet you in the lobby. I had to call in a few favors but Jane was admitted here under a false name. we just arrived a short while ago, I would of called sooner but this was the first time I could get to a secluded phone." Dr. Becher said.

"I'm sorry Dr. Becher I know you are doing all you can to help us..I...I just." Maura couldn't continue as she began to cry, desperately clutching her hand to her lips to muffle the sound of her sobs.

"I understand Maura...Just drive carefully, Jane needs you as much as you need her." Dr. Becher said.

"I will, please tell her I love her and I'll be there soon." Maura said as she heard the doctor agree to relay that information to Jane before hanging up. Maura leaned her head back against the head rest and closed her eyes letting the sobbing cries that were absorbing her body take over. After a few minutes Maura was able to get her emotions under control, he looked in the mirror once again and noticed just how exhausted she looked. As much as she needed o get to Jane she knew she should take five minutes to go in the house and freshen up up her face, it would do no good to have Jane worrying for her if she showed up looking the way she did.

Maura walked in to the house quietly not wanting to wake the kids or Angela up as she was sure they must be sleeping by now. As she made her way to her bedroom she stopped to look at a picture that hung in the hallway, it was one of Jane and her sleeping in the hammock outside. She placed two fingers on Jane's face and said. "I'll see you soon love."

Back at the hospital Jane was struggling to catch her breath and the doctors were doing all they could to help. Jane began to panic as she was unable to breathe. "Mrs. D'renda we are going to give you some medication to help you relax, if that doesn't help you breathe easier do you wish to be intubated?"

Jane shook her head yes, she was attempting to sit up as she held on to the side rails of the bed, but her body was to weak. She looked over to where Dr. Becher stood, her eye's open wide silently pleading with him, he understood immediately. He walked closer to Jane, placing his hand over hers on the rail. " I'll tell her Jane...I'll tell her everything."

Jane placed her other hand over there hands on the rail and shook her head yes, she moved her lips trying to talk, but was unable. She squeezed his hand staring straight in to his eye's, she could hear faint noises in the room but it just sounded like she was underwater. The room started to become dark until there was nothing but blackness and the sound of her heart monitor flat lining.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Next chapter will be up shortly, so don't worry I won't leave you hanging like this to long.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Maura pulled in to the hospital in record time, she had a small smile on her face as she thought of what Jane would say if she knew how fast she drove to get to her. She missed the monotony of things like fighting over how fast or slow the other drives, she missed a lot of things about being with Jane.

Maura dialed the number Dr. Becher text her, there was no answer. Maura decided she would try again as she walked to the lobby, not wanting to waste any time. She reached the lobby and still no answer, she was beginning to panic, why wouldn't he answer unless something was wrong. On the fourth try there was finally an answer after about seven rings.

"Maura." Dr. Becher said

"Yes doctor it's Maura, I'm here." Maura stated with a bite to her tone, angry that she was made to wait for his answer.

"I'll be down in just a minute." He stated.

Maura hung up and wrapped her arms around her body, trying to keep herself from running around the hospital yelling for Jane. The anticipation and worry were starting to eat away at what was left of her sanity. She felt as though everyone was watching, watching to see if she would crack, if she would loose it right there in front of everyone. Maura closed her eyes, took a deep breath and tried to recall a memory of Jane that would ground her. Jane always had a way of making everything alright, even if there was slim chances of it truly being alright, she needed her now. The first memory that popped in to her fragile mind was that of her and Jane's honeymoon.

_"Jane we are going to miss our flight, please hurry!" Maura yelled up to Jane who was still in their bedroom packing last minute, unlike Maura who had packed a week in advance._

_"Alright, alright already. We have plenty of time Maur, calm your pretty little self down." Jane said as she came down the stairs, suitcase in hand._

_"Jane Rizzoli don't make light of this, if we don't leave right now we will never make it." Maura spoke as she grabbed her bags, opening the front door so that the driver they booked would come attend to them._

_Jane placed her bag down next to Maura's, she took a last glance around to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything. she than followed Maura out to the car. As she stopped to allow Maura to get in the car first she smiled her signature, gotta love me, smile. " You are going to need a lot more than a smile to get out of this, I hate feeling rushed." Maura stated as she climbed in to the back of the town car._

_Jane rolled her eyes as she too got in the car. " Geez Maur lighten up a bit ha, we're on our honeymoon for christ sake!"_

_Maura sat there with her arms folded across her chest looking like a child throwing a tantrum. Jane took a deep breath and blew it out rolling her head to the side staring at Maura. " Awe come on Mrs. Rizzoli, let's not start are honeymoon like this everything will be fine I promise. Have I ever let you down before?" Jane said as she smiled and slowly ran her hand up Maura's thigh._

_Maura stopped Jane's hand from traveling any further up her thigh. She turned in her seat so she was now facing Jane, moving Jane's hand back to her own lap. "Jane I don't want to fight anymore than you do, but you know how much I like to keep to a schedule. When you disregard that schedule it make's me feel disrespected, and I don't ever want to feel that way when it comes to you or our relationship." Just as Jane was about to speak Maura held up her hand and interjected. "Before you say anything, let me remind you that you have to spend the next two weeks with me." Maura ended with a glare._

_Jane laced her hands with Maura's, lifting their right hands up to her lips and placing a gentle kiss on Maura's knuckles. "I'm sorry Maur, I never meant to make you feel that way, and I promise I will do better by you. I only want you to ever feel loved by me, and I am so lucky that I get the rest of my life to prove that to you"_

_"Thank you Jane, I am lucky as well." Maura said as she kissed Jane on the corner of her lips._

_"As long as we're being honest about our feelings here, maybe you could try to ease up a little on the anxiety. I promise I will never lead you astray. I hate seeing you so wound up, life is way to short for that babe, just relax and see where moments that you can't control take you." Jane said as she stroked their interlaced hands with her thumbs._

_"I will certainly try, I was so much worse before I met you, you ground me like no other. I can feel a calming effect throughout my body at just the sound of your voice." Maura said._

_"Like I said, the rest of my life babe. I'm not going anywhere no matter how psychotic you get." Jane laughed, this earned her a slap across her arm. Maura joined her in her laughter,feeling lighter now, even if they miss their flight she had Jane and that was all that was needed._

Maura smiled at the memory of Jane when she felt some one tap her shoulder. Maura turned to see Dr. Becher standing in front of her looking fatigued, that couldn't be a good sign Maura thought. "Dr. Becher..." The doctor interrupted Maura. "Please call me Jame's, I think we have gone through enough to be on a first name basis, don't you."

"Yes, Jame's I'd say we have. Where is Jane?" Maura said, for a moment it felt as though her heart had literally stopped when she saw his hesitation. "What's the matter? where is she...she's not..."

"Follow me we need to talk in private." Jame's said.

"No, tell me is she..." Maura demanded.

"No, god, no. Jane is alive Maura." Jame's said.

Maura released the breath she had been holding, and her knees suddenly became very weak she felt as though she was going to fall. James placed his hands under Maura's arms grabbing a hold of her before she could fall. "You okay?" Jame's asked as he looked her over. "Yes, I'm sorry, I'm okay just releaved is all." Maura said as she stood on her own, patting Jame's arm in thanks.

Jame's lead them to the elevators, unfortunately they were not alone so they couldn't speak. He then brought Maura to a family room just outside the ICU. Once in he checked the bathroom to make sure they were truly alone. "Maura Jane is here in the ICU."

"Why?" Maura asked cautiously.

"We were able to bring Jane back with the antidote, she was than transferred here by ambulance. I got her admitted under the alias Julie D'renda, Jane's vitals were stable during transport, but upon arrival here she started to decline. Jane went in to cardiac arrest..." Jame's stopped when Maura clumsily sat down in a chair and began to cry, he kneeled down in front of her. "Do you want me to continue?" Jame's asked.

Maura shook her head yes. " The staff here was able to get her heart back in to a normal sinus rhythm. Her vitals are now stable, she is very weak though, too weak to go through surgery tonight. We will have to wait and see if she remains stable enough to go through surgery." Jame's said, he waited for Maura to speak, it took a little while for her to gain control of her emotions.

"Ca..can I see her."Maura asked.

"Yes, of course. I told them that you were her wife and you would be here shortly. Your name is Samantha D'renda, Jane asked me to tell you a lot of things after the antidote did it's job, but I think it would sound better if it came from her." Jame's said as he stood up holding his hand out for her to grab hold of. He helped her up and out of the chair, she smoothed out her clothes, dried her eyes with nearby tissues, and shook her head to let Jame's know she was ready. "Ready?" He asked.

"Ready." Maura answered.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Maura walked quietly through Jane's door, James left her to be alone with Jane. As she got closer she was filled with fear and also great relief Jane was still alive. She walked up to Jane's right side and slowly reached out to just graze her hand across the top of Jane's. Maura had tears running down her face, she stared down at her beloved, she was so pale. Jane hadn't even looked this sick after the incident outside BPD when she sacrificed her body for Frankie and Maura. Maura wiped at the tears on her cheeks, as she looked up and noticed the bright light of the moon shining through, she felt a finger graze her hand, as she looked down she saw her wife smiling beautifully at her.

"Hi." Jane rasped out.

"Hi." Maura responded in a hushed tone.

"I dreamed you were here, this isn't still a dream is it?" Jane asked.

Maura grabbed hold of Jane's hand and leaned down kissing Jane softly on the lips. "Does that feel like a dream?"

"Yes." Jane said as she smiled.

"Well I assure you I'm no dream...I missed you, please don't leave again." Maura said quietly

"Come here, I need to feel you." Jane said.

Maura lowered the side rail and slid her shoes off climbing in the bed with Jane. Maura let her face hide in Jane's neck, Jane wrapped her arms around the woman who was now shaking with silent cries. "Shhh, it's gonna to be ok... it's gotta be ok." Jane said as she placed her lips to the top of Maura's head. It took a few minutes for Maura to calm down, when she did she eased her body up on to her elbow so that she could look down upon Jane's beautifully fragile body. "You came back for me...thank you." she said to Jane as she lowered her lips to Jane's, the kiss was gentle yet spoke of every emotion both women had experienced over the last hours. Jane and Maura pulled away from the kiss but remained close looking deeply in to each others eyes. "I love you Mrs. Rizzoli." Jane whispered.

"I love you too, Mrs. Rizzoli." Maura whispered back.

"I feel like our love is made for movie screens, I never thought love like this to be possible. I need you in my life, I could never and don't ever want to find another, you are my soul mate Jane." Maura ended with another kiss.

"Maura there's things that should be said..." Jane began but was interrupted by Maura who placed her fingers to Jane's lips. "Don't, I can't right now." Maura said as a tear dropped from her eye.

"Ok." Jane responded.

Maura first noticed the piercing sunlight filtering through her eyelids, she than heard the unmistakeable sound of a heart monitor reminding her that she was indeed still involved in this nightmare, it wasn't just a dream. As she opened her eyes she was startled by a nurse who was standing to Jane's left side with a smirk on her face. Maura was still in Jane's arms, Maura sat up straight. "I'm sorry we must of fell asleep."

"Please don't apologize, after all it seems like it's done some good, her vitals are up." The nurse smiled as she spoke.

"Let me get out of your way." As Maura removed herself from the bed Jane woke. She smiled groggily at Maura before she noticed the nurse standing to her left.

"Hi." Jane said.

"Hello Julie my name is Tonya I will be your nurse today. How are you feeling today?" She asked Jane.

"I feel good..." Jane began

"Jane. please." Maura scolded gently.

Jane looked to Maura with an apologetic smile. "I uh, I have a headache and I feel extremely tired."

"I have orders to give you something for the headache, as for the fatigue, your body has been through a lot you just have to give it time to bounce back. I'm gonna take some blood if that's okay than I will get you something for your head." Tonya stated.

"Sure." Jane said.

The nurse went about taking blood than left with a smile, as she was leaving Dr. Becher walked in to the room. " Hi Jane I see your vitals are doing much better." James said.

"Yes they are James, that's very promising, correct?" Maura said as she stood holding Jane's right hand. Jane loked to Maura than to James, " Wait, what's going on here _JAMES! _Maura can call you by your first name but I, the woman who's life is on the line, is just now learning your first name. Kinda rude doc, kinda rude." Jane said

Maura squeezed Jane's hand. " Jane please, it came up in conversation last night."

James laughed. "I guess I should be on a first name basis with you as well Jane. How are you feeling this morning?"

"I got a headache and I'm tired but other than that I'm good." Jane said

"No chest pain?" James asked.

Jane stared at the doctor before feeling Maura's other hand come to rest on their interlaced fingers. Jane took a breath and released it slowly turning her head to look at Maura. "Maur...do you really want to hear this?" Jane asked.

"No, but I want you to talk about it anyway." Maura responded.

Jane smiled at Maura looking in to her eyes and said. "My chest hurts..." she looked back to James. "I take it that's from the CPR."

"Yes they had to do compressions for a few minutes before you came back. You were also shocked once...your a fighter though, most wouldn't have come back from that." James said.

"I have good reason to fight, my family needs me." Jane said, Maura leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you." Maura spoke softly.

Jane placed her left hand on Maura's cheek as she was bent over her, and wiped away the lone tear that sat on Maura's cheek. "So doc when do we go through with this surgery?" Jane asked as she turned to look at him dropping her hand from Maura's face.

"Well I'll have to see what your blood work shows, but you seem to be doing remarkably well. So if things stay this way, or get better, I'd say we can go through with it later on today." James said.

Tonya walked back in with a syringe filled with painkillers, she pushed the liquid through Jane's I.V tubing, then left. "Jane we need to talk about the surgery." James said.

"Ok." Jane said. "We are going to drill a hole in to your skull, than biopsy the tumor. We will wait in the surgical room for the results, if they come back that the tumor is cancerous we will open up your skull and attempt to remove the tumor. If it's not cancerous we will close up and have you start radiation therapy to try and shrink the tumor, there's no need to put you through a strenuous surgery if we don't have to. Now depending on the route we take, removal or not, we also determine how you will be cared for after words. If we have to remove part of your skull and the tumor we would like to place you in to a induced coma so you can one heal, but also for pain relief." James stated.

"How long?" Jane asked.

"A few days." James answered. "Any questions?" He asked.

"Nope...you?" Jane said as she looked to Maura.

"No thank you." Maura said sadly.

James smiled and said he would be back after the blood results were in before taking his leave. Maura walked over to the window, turning her back on Jane. Jane stared at her wife knowing something was bothering her. "Talk to me, why didn't you ask any questions?"

Maura continued to stare out the window looking at all the cars driving filled with people who didn't have to deal with this nightmare. She turned and looked to Jane, not moving from her spot in front of the window, she had her arms wrapped around her middle. "I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" Jane asked.

"I've seen all your labs and scans back home Jane." Maura stated.

"And? Listen Maur, you are the smartest person I know, but if you think I'm not aware of the fact that you have been holding something back, you're slipping." Jane said

"Jane I...I believe the biopsy will come back positive for cancer cells. I have gone over everything and it all points to one thing...cancer, an aggressive form." Maura said, she watched the comprehension of her words flowing through Jane;s body. Jane opened her mouth a few times to speak but thought better of it, after all what could she say to make this better. Maura walked back over to Jane and sat on the edge of the bed, she grabbed hold of Jane's hand and placed it to her chest. Jane continued to look ahead dumbfounded.

"Jane we are going to beat this, you hear me. This is not stronger than you, nothing ever will be." Maura said

Jane finally looked to Maura who had tears in her eyes, she breathed in than said. "Maur."

Maura pulled Jane in to her arms and held on to her, both woman trembled with the fear of what lies ahead. "We will make it through this, we will..." Maura began to cry as she felt hot tears hit her shoulder, she knew Jane was crying. Both woman sat their in each others arms and cried till there were no more tears to shed. Jane knew she would have a fight ahead of her but she would face it with the same determination she has faced every obstacle in her life.

Both women remained close for a while needing to feel the other. Dr. Becher came walking back in, he could sense the shift in mood, the room had a heaviness to it. " The blood work is back, everything looks good so if you agree we will get you prepped for surgery in an hour."

Maura squeezed Jane's hand and smiled at her. "Yes we're ready." Jane said as she looked upon Maura.

"Okay than, I'll let the team know. I'll see you in an hour Jane..." James was interrupted by Maura who had climbed off the bed and approached him. Maura stood in front of the doctor with a look on her face that told him everything she felt. "I got this Maura, she's in good hands."

"Bring her back to me." Maura said softly.

James smiled and placed his hand on Maura's left arm before walking out of the room. Maura walked back to Jane and climbed in the bed with her, she laid down on her side placing her cheek to Jane's chest, Jane wrapped her arms around her tightly breathing in the scent of her. Maura whispered in to Jane's chest. "I love you."

There hour was slowly coming to an end, both woman could her activity outside Jane's door signaling that it was sat up, looking down on Jane. "Before they come in I need to say..."

Jane cut in. " Say it when I wake up." Jane pulled Maura in for a passionate kiss one that conveyed all the love she had for Maura, one that left no words to be said, and felt like a coming home rather than a goodbye.

Staff walked in the room, Maura got off the bed once again wrapping her arms around her middle trying to feel some bit of calm during this raging storm. Jane never took her eyes of Maura even as the lifted her to another bed, Jane winked and smiled at Maur trying to send some strength her way. As they began to roll Jane out of the room Maura yelled. "STOP."

Maura ran over to Jane's bed, she bent over it, placing both hands on Jane's cheeks. Maura leaned down resting her forehead on Jane's. "If you love me, you wont leave me, all I need is you, so please come back to me, please." Maura kissed Jane trying in vain to hold back the tears wanting to be strong for Jane. A few tears dropped on to Jane's face, Jane grabbed hold of Maura's hands that remained on her face and said. " I will always come back for you, nothing can keep us apart, not even death."

"We have to go now." Tonya said.

Maura stood up and watched as Jane was taken from her. Maura remained in the room alone staring at the door Jane was just rolled through. She was lost she tried to will her feet to move but she couldn't, she was afraid that once she stepped out of that room nothing would be the same. In here she has Jane, out there she may not and that was to frightening to face especially alone.

"Mam..can I escort you to the family room." A nurse spoke, Maura never even noticed her entering the room.

"I...I don't...I can't.." Maura spoke through tears.

"It's going to be okay, she will be back." The nurse said.

Maura shook her head yes and allowed the nurse to escort her out of Jane's room and in to the family room. Maura sat by the windows staring out on to the street below and did the only thing she could, she watched as life continued to go on and waited for hers to begin again.


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N So there's going to be a lot of angst before we get a happy ending, but I promise you there will be a happy ending so please stick with me here, thank you!**

**Chapter 40**

Maura had paced the floor, made herself coffee twice, and reapplied her makeup after it had all but come off from the amount amount of tears. Jane had only been in surgery for an hour, but Maura knew that she could possibly be in for much longer of a wait. There were a few other people in the waiting room, but Maura hadn't concerned herself with them. All she wanted was to see Jane and hear that she was wrong about her hypothesis. The phone in the room rang out piercing the air with its sound. Everyone turned to it and watched as the volunteer picked it up, Maura silently chanted please let it be Jane over and over.

The volunteer turned in her seat after hanging up the phone " Mrs D'renda" She called out.

Maura let go of the breath she had been holding, "Yes."

"Your loved one is out of surgery a doctor will be out momentarily to talk to you." the volunteer said.

"Thank you." Maura was excited to hear Jane made it out of surgery than was suddenly hit with the realization of the situation. If Jane was already out of surgery than that means they weren't able to remove the tumor.

"Samantha...Samantha..." James called out to Maura.

She finally looked at him but had a blank look on her face. She didn't welcome any information he had for her, in fact she wished he was not there at all. She cleared her throat and answered the doctor with no emotion to her voice. "Yes doctor."

James could see the shift in Maura she is beginning to put her walls up, a defense mechanism he was sure she had perfected. "Lets go down the hall a bit and talk."

Maura nodded her head and followed the doctor to a secluded area of the hospital. James took a deep breath and crossed his arms around his chest. "Maura the test results showed it to be cancerous, I'm sorry."

"Why aren't you still in surgery?" Maura asked again with no emotion.

James chose his next words carefully, he knew they would cause the fragile woman in front of him to close up fully. "Jane...We opened Jane's skull and what we saw...well Maura there's no way to remove the tumor it is to vascular. If we try she will most definitely stroke out, she would no doubt die. There's nothing we can do...you need to prepare yourself"

Maura heard the words coming from his mouth, she sensed the anguish of all of them, but she felt nothing herself. Maura had spent a good majority of her life in a metal bubble, protecting her from the hurt of rejection, loneliness, and need. When she met Jane that bubble was taken down piece by piece, Jane had removed her need to protect her self from all that could hurt you in this world. Now she stood here and listened to the doctor tell her that Jane had a deadly tumor and there was nothing they could do. She literally felt the metallic bubble erecting around her with every word.

"Is she awake?" Maura asked as she mimic his posture, arms wrapped tightly around her body.

"Maura...I'm so so sorry...I wish.." James said but was cut off by a voice that sounded robotic and void of emotion.

"You have done more than we could have asked for, Jane and I both thank you...is she awake?" Maura asked.

"No she's still heavily sedated." James said.

"May I see her?" Maura asked.

"Yes...Maura she doesn't know." James responded.

"If you could take me to her now I'd appreciate it." Maura stated.

"Sure." James said sensing the conversation was over.

Maura placed her hand on James arm stopping him right before the entrance to Jane's ICU room. He turned his head looking to her. Maura stared straight ahead looking at he wife lying still, she spoke softly. "How long?"

"How long what?" James asked as he turned towards her.

"How long do I have with her." Maura asked.

James took a deep breath and responded. " A few weeks at best. The tumor has begun to invade her brain stem its growing at an expectational rate."

Maura walked closer to the door placing her hand on the handle and spoke without turning her head. "Thank you."

Jane looked small lying perfectly still on the hospital bed. Her head was wrapped in a large bandage, she had tubes and wires coming from every part of her body. Her breathing was currently being assisted by a ventilator, due to the heavy sedation. Maura placed her purse down on the chair next to Jane's bed and walked up to her, placing her hands around Jane's left one. Maura felt numb, she had erected her walls, she would have to return to the cold woman she was before Jane if she was to make it out of this alive. She reasoned that she needed to separate herself for her kids, they were about to loose one parent, two would be unacceptable.

Maura's phone began to ring. "Dr. Rizzoli." she answered flatly.

"Maura it's Frankie, we got him Maura, he's gonna go away for life with what we got." Frankie stated excitedly.

Maura stood there with phone in hand staring at Jane thinking how she will love to know that her last act as detective was to bring down a mob boss. Jane couldn't enjoy it though, not after she is told the nightmarish news that Maura has the unfortunate position to know first. Maura was so lost in thought that she hadn't heard Frankie calling her name.

"Maura...Maura you there..." Frankie asked.

"Yes Frankie I apologize, you were saying." Maura said.

"Saying...Maura I just told you that we are putting Flannigan away and everyone who was involved. Whats wrong you should be happy, its over Maura you guys can live your lives now." Frankie said confused and slightly angry.

Maura tried hard to push all emotion behind her, but Frankie's mention of a life with Jane was to much she held her hand to her mouth covering the sob, tears flowed down her soft cheeks landing on her chest. Maura held the receiver of the phone away from her mouth so that Frankie would not hear her cry.

"Maura is everything ok? Is it Jane?" Frankie asked concern growing in is voice.

Maura held her breath until the tears slowed. She cleared her throat and attempted to sound as normal as possible. "Are you sure everyone involved has been arrested." Maura asked.

"Yeah we got everyone, Flannigan sung like a bird once we had him in custody. We even got the nurses that Jane suspected at the hospital." Frankie responded.

"There was a man..." Maura began.

"Tall Man with graying hair, likes to carry a pistol in his waist." Frankie cut in.

"Yes how did you know?" Maura said.

"When we rounded everyone up, which by the way took all morning and most of the afternoon, there was one particular man who yelled he should of shot you when he had the chance. After further prodding I found out he threatened you in the parking garage, why didn't you tell me?" Frankie said.

"I had more pressing matters on mind, but you need to know he threatened the kids as well. Please make sure he gets what's deserved." Maura requested.

"That's not gonna be a problem." Frankie said.

There was a bit of silence before Maura spoke again knowing she couldn't keep the information about Jane's health to herself. Her family needed to know they needed their time with her. Maura took in a deep breath and said. "Frankie are you available to go to your mothers home?"

"Yeah I can finish up the paperwork later why...whats going on Maura." Frankie asked sounding worried.

"I need to tell the family something and I would like to do it while your all together." Maura said.

"Why don't you tell me where you are and we'll come to you." Frankie said.

"That would take to long, please just head over to your mothers and call me when you get there." Maura said.

"Maura...there isn't gonna be any good news on this call is there?" Frankie said somberly.

Maura paused before answering him, "Frankie..."

"I get it Maura...I..." Frankie began to choke up, he cleared his throat. "I'll cal back in ten minutes."

"Frankie could you please ask Vince to go with you, he should be part of this conversation. He was the one person who never gave up on her...he deserves to know." Maura said flatly.

"Sure Maura." Frankie said.

Maura hung up the phone placing it back in her purse. She resumed holding Jane's hand, wishing to see her eyes at this very moment. Jane's eyes always reassured her in times of turmoil, Jane was her support column and without her she just felt like falling, a never ending fall. Maura tried to distance herself from what was happening, she tried to ignore it all, but the gravity of the situation was to much. Maura fell to her knees still clinging on to Jane's hand and sobbed hysterically.

**A/N Only a few more chapters left thanks for all those who are still with me!**


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

**A/N In honor of my daughters third birthday I decided to post two chapters. I hope you enjoy, and please review I love reading each and every one and appreciate all that follow. Some have been getting anxious about Jane's fate and I promise you that all will end well, but it may hurt a little before we get there.**

Frankie arrived at Angela's shortly after his conversation with Maura. Angela could tell from the stricken look on his face that something was terribly wrong. It only got worse for her when Vince walked in after Frankie.  
>Angela was coloring with the twins at the time, she looked at Frankie as she said." Kids why don't we put in a movie for you while i have a talk with uncle Frankie and uncle Vince in the kitchen."<p>

Frankie and Vince walked to the kitchen, Angela set up the movie and walked up to the kitchen she took a deep breath to steady herself before entering.

"What's going on Frankie, why are we here." Korsak asked.

"Maura called me...she wanted us all together when she says whatever it is she plans on telling us." Frankie responded.

"Well did she say what it was about, is Jane okay, why does she want us all together?" Angela fired off.

"Ma, Ma, please! I don't know anything, lets just call Maura." Frankie said.

Frankie pulled out his phone and dialed Maura's number, it rang three times before she picked up. Maura looked at her phone to see that it was Frankie who was calling, she steeled herself for the following conversation. "Hello Frankie."

"Hey Maura were all here I'm putting you on speaker phone." Frankie said.

"Are the kids there?" Maura asked.

"No." Angela replied.

"I'm sorry we have to do this over the phone but Jane is in a hospital about an hour away." Maura began but was cutoff by Angela.

"Do what? What is it exactly that you're going to do?" Angela yelled.

"Ma calm down, let her talk." Frankie said.

"Maura took a breath, wiped a tear from her eye, and cleared her throat before saying. "Jane's tumor is cancerous, and terminal."

The three adults in the kitchen stood there stunned at what they just heard. Nobody wanted to believe it, no one could also believe the way in which Maura just matter of factly said what she had said. There was no explanations, no drawn out story, just Jane has cancer and is going to die.

"What...what do you mean that cant be. Jane is...she's strong she can fight this." Angela said frantically.

"Maura please help us understand we just saw her she was doing fine." Frankie said.

Maura rubbed her forehead she really did not want to be having this conversation, especially as she sat next to Jane's comatose body. She knew it was necessary though, they were her family too.

"Dr. Becher's plan worked and she was transported to North Shore Hospital in Salem. Jane had the biopsy surgery performed just under three hours ago now, the biopsy showed that the tumor is cancerous. The doctor was unable to remove it as it is very vascular and at the rate it is growing it will most definitely lead...Ja...Jane..." Maura lost the ability to speak all that came from her lips was air. She couldn't comprehend how this was happening to her, she shook her head as if trying to make the words come out. Her body knew that if she said the words out loud if she said them one more time it would push her walls down around her. She would be open to the pain, vulnerable to the levity of the situation, Maura would feel it all.

"Maura what are you trying to say?" Korsak asked as it seemed everyone else in the room was left speechless.

Maura shook her head no. "I..I...Jane she uh, Jane is..." Korsak cut Maura off.

"It's ok Maura...we get it." Korsak said somberly.

There was only the sounds of sniffling on the line, the only thing that allowed each side to know that there was still someone on the other end. That was until Angela spoke quietly and hesitantly. " How long do we have with her."

Maura squeezed her eyes shut knowing that they deserved to know, she was hit with a sudden feeling of nausea. She sat forward in her chair and let her head rest in her left hand. She blew out a calming breath and just said it. "A few weeks... at best."

Angela clutched the kitchen island to hold her self up, Frankie grabbed her by the elbow to aid her. He suddenly remembered the conversation he had with Maura in the car on there way back from seeing Paddy.

"Maura what about your contact, what about the drug trial?" Frankie almost yelled.

Maura sat back and stared at Jane as she said. "I just spoke to her...Jane is to sick to be on the trial. They cant afford to have too many bad outcomes involved in the trial. As a doctor I understand really, they need to have a consistent amount of good outcomes to get funding and to eventually make this drug available to everyone."

"That's bullshit." Frankie yelled.

"Frankie's right, give me the number I'll call them, make them see that she's worth it." Korsak said.

"Please." Maura said quietly.

"No, NO this isn't right. Jane will get that drug come..." Frankie was cutoff by Maura.

"OR WHAT, JANE IS GOING TO DIE..." Maura yelled.

There was silence once again, everyone including Maura was shocked by her outburst. She just couldn't take anymore of there useless hope. "I..I'm sorry." Maura said more to Jane than to the others, she had finally given up, she hated admitting that, but there was nothing else she could do.

"You may have given up but I wont loose another sibling..." Frankie said as he stormed out of the house. Maura could hear Angela and Korsak yell after him before the line went dead.

Maura began to cry and said to Jane. " He's just like you...why can't I be that strong?"

"You are strong, one of the strongest I've seen." James said.

Maura was startled by his presence, Maura looked over her shoulder at James than turned her head back around. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you I was just coming to check on Jane." he said.

"That's alright, and thank you for the sentiment, but If I was strong I would be fighting for her right now." Maura said as she remained seated holding Jane's hand.

"Maura you get it, it's not easy to be the one, the one who understands it all. Who has to be the one who understands the situation fully, not having that little bit of hope that the doctors are wrong because you know that what we are saying is the undeniable truth. That kind of strength is a lonely one, you don't have any one to rely on, to look to for answers. Give your self some shred of credit for still standing by her side, most can't handle the situation and look to escape." James said.

Maura smiled and looked over her shoulder at the doctor." So how long till she's awake?"

"I'm going to lower her sedation now so she should wake up within the hour." James said.

Maura smiled faintly and squeezed Jane's hand. " Soon love."

James went about lowering the sedation that Jane was receiving and checking her pupils. Maura sat there and contemplated his words. She could understand his reasoning, but she still felt as though she was giving up on Jane. The only one who would be able to convince her otherwise was lying in the bed next to her. Maura could do nothing but be patient, and wait for her love to wake.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

"Jane...can you hear me? Jane...open your eyes sweetie." Maura spoke to Jane trying to get her to wake. Jane began to stir five minutes ago but has yet to open her eyes or speak. James and Maura were beginning to worry, Jane should be awake by now. James adjusted her sedation an hour ago, most patients would have been awake at this point.

"James" Maura spoke a loud.

"Don't jump to conclusions just yet Maura." James said knowing where Maura's mind was going.

Maura stood by Jane's bedside leaning down stroking Jane's cheek with her right hand, she used her left hand to hold on to Jane's right hand tightly. Maura eye's were red and puffy from crying and exhaustion, everything else about her held no indication of the turmoil she was feeling inside. She looked impeccable as always, but she worried that Jane would see the change in her. Maura knew that the only one who could sense the change in her emotional state would be Jane, she never missed anything when it came to Maura.

Jane groaned letting Maura and James know she was becoming more alert. Jane's eyes fluttered open, taking in the harsh lighting that was coming from above her head. She could just make out the silhouette of a woman leaning above her. Jane could tell that someone was talking but it sounded as though she was underwater. Jane blinked her eyes a few times trying to gain some clarity, it was just as a camera trying to focus on it's subject. Jane was able to see clearly now, she smiled up at Maura. Her hearing was the next thing to clear up, unfortunately what followed made her want for the fogginess of a few moments ago.

"Jane whats wrong?" Maura asked as she could see the instant change in Jane's face.

Jane tried to speak but her voice was thick with sleep, she cleared her throat and spoke with a more than usual hoarseness. "My head feels like it's going thru a juicer."

Maura couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her lips, she had spent the last hour fearing what Jane would be like if she woke. Maura had feared for no reason, Jane kept her promise just like she has all along the way, she came back to her. " I'm sorry Jane, I don't mean to laugh, but i was so worried so to hear you joking it just makes me so happy is all."

"I wont take it personally, but can you maybe help out, get me some of the good shit." Jane said through clenched teeth.

"Language Jane." Maura chastised.

"I can help out with that." James said as he walked over to Jane's PCA pump and turned it on. He handed Jane the dispensing button. " You can press that anytime you feel pain and it should help." He said.

"Will it knock me out?" Jane asked.

"It will make you groggy." James answered.

Jane looked to Maura and put the button down. "I'm good for a while."

"Jane please don't try to be heroic on my behalf, push the button, I don't want you to be in pain." Maura spoke softly.

"Just give me some time, I have some questions." Jane said looking to James.

"Okay but just a few than I will press the button if you don't." Maura said. She wanted nothing more than to have Jane awake and talking to her, but she wanted even more to see her pain free.

"Hard ass." Jane groaned.

Maura glared at Jane but also had a smile pulling on her lips. James stepped back and pulled a chair up to Jane's bedside, he looked at the clock and said. "You got five minutes, doctors orders."

"It's a conspiracy I tell ya, fine, since your both so insistent. How long have I been out?" Jane asked.

James looked straight at Jane ignoring the stiffness in Maura's posture. "About eight hours now." He said.

Jane took in what he had just said and understood if it had only been eight hours than something had gone wrong seeing as he had said that she would be in a coma for a few days if they were to remove the tumor. "So bad news than." Jane said.

Maura had become very distant almost cold, Jane knew this was a tactic she used when she wanted to spare herself pain. Jane remembered seeing the same look in her when they split up, but her eyes screamed of the pain that she was in. Jane knew to always look at Maura's eye's because they never lied to her. "You ok Maur?" Jane asked.

Maura scoffed at the simple idea of Jane worrying on her behalf when she was the one who was facing a death sentence. She shook her head and said. "Jane please don't worry about my state of mind..." Maura was cutoff by Jane.

"I worry about nothing else." Jane said as she squeezed Maura's hand, reaching her left hand up to stroke Maura's cheek.

Maura turned her head into Jane's palm and kissed it, closing her eyes as she did. She opened her eyes looking at Jane and smiled softly. "I love you." Maura said.

Jane smiled. "I love you too...So what's the diagnosis doc." Jane said after a deep breath and turnig her head to look at him.

"Jane the tumor cells came back as being cancerous, when we opened you up we found that the tumor had not grown at an exponential rate, but also is very vascular. I couldn't risk the multitude of bad outcomes by trying to remove it, I'm sorry." James said.

"What does that mean for me?" Jane responded.

"You have a few weeks before the tumor invades your brain stem and stops your breathing and brain function." James said matter of factly, he learned that through out the years it was best to just say what was really happening instead of tiptoeing around the subject.

Jane laid there and took in what she just heard it was surreal to here that you only have a few weeks left on this earth. She heard what he said and knew it to be the truth but she couldn't accept it, how could she die she's Jane friggin Rizzoli! " So what do I have to do to beat this?" Jane asked with clear emotion in her voice.

"Jane, there's...there's nothing you can do, there's nothing anyone can do." James said sadly.

"Have you met me." Jane said gaining more control over her emotions.

"Jane..." Maura began.

"No, you will not give up on me too. I just got you back I have no intention of leaving again." Jane said determinedly.

Maura pulled her hands through her hair in frustration she loved what Jane was saying, she loved that she was ready to fight, but the scientific facts where overwhelming. "Jane the science..."

"Fuck the science!" Jane shouted.

"JANE...please." Maura began to shout but calmed herself down. " I love that you want to fight for me, for our family, but I tried to get you into a drug trial and you were turned down. I can't put myself thru the anticipation and the let down, I just...I can't...I'm sorry." Maura said before she turned and walked into the bathroom locking herself in. Jane knew that Maura was putting up her walls and was just scared, Jane knew that things looked grim but there was no way she could give up on Maura again.

Jane hasn't forgiven herself for doing it the first time. " James I want to go home." Jane said as she stared at the bathroom door.

"Jane you just had major surgery you'll have to remain in the hospital for a week at least." James responded.

Jane turned to him and looked very determined. "Than I'm going to need a few things, first is accsess to a computer. Second is I need you to use every contact you have to find a surgeon who will operate on me. Third is I need you to move me out of ICU so that my kids can visit."

"Jane..." James began.

"No...I understand everything you said, I do. I wont lay here and count the days, I will do everything to beat this, I have too. There is no way I can do anything else, you have to understand...Please!" Jane cut in.

James huffed and crossed his arms looking out the window before turning to look at Jane again. "Okay, I'll do what I can on my end...but Jane you have to be realistic about this for Maura's sake, for your family, and for yourself. There's no good that's going to come from giving yourself false hope, I'm sorry if I sound morose but I just don't want you to waste time." He said.

Jane took the doctor in and she could see the honesty in his eyes, she knew he only wished for her well being. "I appreciate everything you've done and are going to do doc, but I _will not_ take this lying down, so to speak. I...I need to do this for my family, they...they need me and I need them. So I have to try, I have to try doc."

James stood up and placed his hand on Jane's forearm. "Than I guess I better get started, I'll check in on you in the morning."

"Thank you James!" Jane said.

James walked out of the room and Jane's attention returned to the bathroom door. She watched and wondered what Maura was doing, she surmised that she was crying and trying to put those fiercely strong walls of hers back up. Jane wished she could walk over to her and hold her, giving her the strength that she so desperately needed right now. Just as Jane was beginning to try and figure out a way to get up out of the bed without falling the door opened. Maura stood eyes rimmed red, but Jane could see the change. Maura had erected her walls, she looked at Jane, but there was no emotion to her look.

Jane knew it would be a battle to break thru Maura's defenses. Jane was not going to give up though, she knew Maura was just scared. She knew that Maura relied on science and facts to base her conclusions on, but Jane had to base hers on hope because the alternative is just way to scary. Jane held her hand out to Maura hoping she would come to her.

"Don't hide." Jane said.

Maura looked at Jane as if she were a stranger before saying. "I have to."

"No you don't." Jane responded.

Maura walked over to Jane and grabbed her purse off the chair placing it over her shoulder. "The kids need me."

"I need you." Jane said.

"Jane please." Maura said.

"Please what...Let you walk out on me. Walk out on us...I can't do that, I did it once and I'll be damned if it ever happens again. I need you Maur, don't pretend you don't need me too. We have come so far, please love me enough to trust that I will do everything in my power to stand by your side for a very long time." Jane pleaded.

Maura looked out the window with her hands by her side. Jane grabbed hold of her hand. "Hold my hand Maura."

Maura laced her fingers with Jane's but her gaze remained on the window. "Lay with me." Jane said.

"I can't." Maura said quietly as she slowly turned her head to look at Jane.

"Put your purse down." Jane asked of Maura.

Maura looked down at their entwined hands before removing her purse from her shoulder. "Sit down." Jane said.

"Jane." Maura whispered.

"I promise." Jane said.

"You can't." Maura responded.

"Sit down Maur." Jane demanded again.

Maura sat down in the chair to the right of Jane's bedside with Jane still holding on to her hand. "Give me your other hand." Jane said.

Maura placed her other hand in Jane's left palm. Jane closed her hand around it and pulled it up to her mouth placing a gentle kiss to the knuckles. She than placed it on her chest. " Do you feel that." Jane asked.

Maura shook her head yes. "I'm right here." Jane said.

Maura's eyes began to fill with unshed tears. Jane knew she was close, she just had to give her a reason to stay both figuratively and literally. "I'm right here Maur, please stay." Jane said.

Maura sniffed trying to hold back the tears. She knew they where facing insurmountable odds, but she didn't want to let go she couldn't let go. In the end she belonged to Jane and would be incomplete without her. On the other side of things she knew that the pain of loosing Jane would be to great to handle. If she walked away now maybe just maybe she would live thru this, but how do you walk away. Maura knew there was only one decision she could make, there would be pain but life is about all the emotions, not just one. She couldn't be naive enough to think that she would walk thru this life without experiencing heartache, heartbreak, and devastation. After all that's what life is, just one fucked up ride. You can either hide from it all and never experience the good that comes with the bad, or except that it's all in one.

Maura decided that she would stand by Jane until the end. She would love this woman with everything she has and show her that she will walk whatever path they are bound for no matter what the cost. Maura leaned over placing her head down on Jane's lap looking up in to her eyes. "I'm here too." Maura said.

Jane smiled. "Together."

"Together." Maura said.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

**A/N It's been a while since I've said it, but I don't claim any ownership to any characters that are property of RIZZOLI AND ISLES. I'm just a fan who is trying her best to write a story that pays homage to the lovely characters that are Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles ( and company). **

Frankie, and Angela came barging thru Jane's hospital room. Causing Maura to whip her head around and glare at them for possibly waking Jane. Jane had fallen asleep after pressing the self administering morphine pump, but Maura could still see the distress on her face. The only light in the room was from the rising sun as it peeked thru the half closed blinds. Maura had gotten little to no sleep, she spent most of the night and early morning watching over Jane's restless body.

"Please be quiet!" Maura demanded as she pulled the blanket away from her legs and stood up to greet her family.

"Sorry...We got here as fast as we could." Angela stated, Frankie looked ahead to his sister not acknowledging Maura.

Maura noticed this but thought better of it than to say anything, not wanting to start an argument in Jane's presence. She wrapped both ends of her sweater around her chest, crossing her arms. "Where are the children?" she asked in a hushed tone.

Angela walked up to Maura and looked in to her eyes asking if it was okay to give her a hug, knowing that Maura never relished the idea of being touched by anyone other than Jane when she was upset. Maura smiled softly letting her mother in law know that it was okay to hug her. Angela wrapped Maura up in a warm embrace and whispered in her ear. " Are you okay?"

Maura pulled out of the embrace looking at Frankie's new position by his sisters side. She smiled softly and said, "Yes...No...I'm not sure."

Angela kept her hands on Maura's arms squeezing gently. "The kids are with Korsak, he said he would drive them up when they could come."

"Thank You." Maura said and Angela knew that it held multiple meanings. Maura was thankful for her taking care of her kids but also for not pushing any further on Maura's state of mind.

"I need access to her records." Frankie said.

Maura turned her body so that she was facing him, her arms still wrapped protectively around herself. "Excuse me."

"I'm going to get in touch with the best neurosurgeons in the world, they will need her records." He responded with out looking at Maura.

Maura sighed, rubbing her fore head with her right hand her left still wrapped around her body. "Frankie."

"No...You may have given up but I wont, ever! So you can take all your facts and shove them up your..." Frankie was cutoff by Angela.

"Frankie! Stop that right now, you have no idea what Maura..." Angela began.

"WHAT, how she feels...well tell me Maura, tell me how does it feel to give up on Jane. Does it feel good, payback for all the hurt she put you through. I bet you can't wait to be rid of her." Frankie was stopped by a resounding slap to his face.

Maura was seething she had never been so mad before. As she stood there hands balled up in tight fists, chest heaving, and tears flowing she looked so deep in to Frankie's eyes she could see all his pain, fear and most of all anger. "How dare you,you need to leave." Maura said.

Maura knew she should probably walk away from the situation, get some much needed space. She knew Jane would be upset at her for kicking Frankie out, but she just couldn't see past the pain his words had caused. Maura had given up on Jane, she tried to walk away, was he right. Maura was pulled out of her thoughts by a voice that she has come to crave.

"Why are you shouting at each other?" Jane asked as she tried to sit up.

Maura wiped viciously at her tears. "Jane don't, lie back down please."

"Ma, what's going on?" Jane asked as she became increasingly agitated by the sight of her family. Maura was crying and obviously angry, Frankie's cheek was red and he was breathing hard from anger as well. Angela had tears in her eyes she hadn't wanted their visit to go this way.

"Ma!" Jane demand.

Angela jumped. "It's nothing baby, were just all so happy to see you."

"BULLSHIT." Jane yelled causing her to start coughing.

Maura rushed to Jane's side placing a hand on her back helping her sit up. Maura grabbed a cup of water off the side tray and placed it to Jane's lips. Jane sipped on the water, relieving her dry throat. Jane grabbed on to Maura's wrist before she could pull away and looked at her through hooded lids. "The truth Maur."

Maura looked at Jane knowing she couldn't lie but to tell the truth would break Jane's heart. She took a moment to steel herself for the impending fallout. As she opened her mouth to speak Frankie spoke up. "We just had an argument about your treatment plan."

Jane looked at Frankie than to Maura, she knew that wasn't the truth but she didn't have the energy to fight. Jane pushed the button to bring the head of her bed up. She looked to Frankie. "I'll be handling my treatment."

"Janie I just want to help." Frankie implored.

"I know you do little brother, and thank you. I will accept all the help I can get, but the final call is going to be made by Maura and I." Jane said.

Frankie glared at Maura before looking back at Jane and nodding. "Ok Janie, anything you want."

Jane noticed the looks between her wife and brother, she made a mental note to ask Maura about it when they where alone. "Ma come give me a hug, I know you have been anxious to get your hands on me." Jane said.

Angela was all to happy to engulf her daughter in a bone crushing hug. Jane pretended she was over it but her smile said otherwise. Angela leaned back and cupped Jane's cheeks giving her a loving stare that was filled with tears on both ends.

"I missed you sweetheart." Angela said.

Jane smiled not trusting herself to respond right away, for fear of breaking down. She had held it together so far, but something about looking in to her mothers eyes and being held by her made her want to revert to being a small child who just needed comforting. Jane searched Angela's eyes for comfort, and Angela understood this wrapping Jane up in a hug once more.

Angela pulled away this time smiling. "It will be okay Janie, It will be." she said.

"Thank you Ma." Jane spoke feeling a little stronger.

"Janie...what's the plan?" Frankie asked.

Jane sighed and leaned her head back on to her pillows turning to look at Frankie. "First thing is I get out of here."

"Jane is that, well should you be leaving the hospital. Your doctor is here, you just had surgery." Angela said.

"We discussed this with Dr. Becher and he has agreed to let Jane return home, while still helping her in any way he can." Maura jumped in.

"This is what you want Janie?" Frankie asked.

"Yeah Frankie, this is what I want. I'm not going to waste time lying here while others make decisions for me. I'm going to work harder than I have at anything to find a way out of this." Jane said.

"Well you can count on me being by your side through out the whole ordeal. I want to help in anyway I can." Frankie said.

"Stop blaming Maura." Jane said matter of factly.

Frankie looked to Jane with sadness on his face. "Janie I..."

"Don't deny it Frankie. I heard every word, I need us all to be together on this. If where fighting it's only going to be counter productive." Jane said with no anger in her tone only tiredness.

Frankie sighed turning his attention to Maura. "I'm sorry Maura, I'm just...I'm scared." Frankie said while he wiped at the tears that filled his big brown eyes.

Maura was hurt by the words that Frankie hurled at her, but she understood that people do horrible things when there scared, and it was not like she wasn't slightly deserving of some of those hurtful words she had given up on Jane. She tried to walk away, she attempted to turn her back on the woman she loves with all her soul.

"Thank you for your apology, I am also sorry for hitting you." Maura said.

Jane whipped her head around at Maura she had heard the words as though they came from a distance in her drug induced haze but she had no idea that it had gotten physical. As someone who has been on the end of one of Maura's slaps she knew Frankie had to be hurting, both physically an emotionally. Jane closed her eyes and whispered Maura's name before opening them to see regret written on the other woman's face.

"Thank you Maura, your forgiven. Although I'm pretty sure I deserved worse." Frankie said with a chuckle as he rubbed the right side of his face.

"Jane."Maura said quietly as she laced her fingers with Jane's. "It's ok Maur, we're all ok now." Jane said.

"Thank goodness!" Angela exclaimed.

Maura leaned down and gave Jane a gentle yet loving kiss to her lips. "Do you need to press the button again love, you look tired." Maura said in to the kiss.

"In a bit." Jane said as she leaned up to capture another kiss.

Maura smoothed a strand of Jane's hair back behind her ear. "I love you."

"I love you more." Jane said.

"So when should we expect you home?" Angela asked never one to allow a tender moment to last to long.

Jane took a deep breath and looked at Maura who was now sitting on the edge of the bed with her hand still laced with Jane's right. "In about a week."

"We will have to get the guest room downstairs ready for her, Jane wont be able to walk up and down the stairs." Maura said knowing Jane would protest.

"Maur I want to sleep in our bed." Jane whined.

"I know you do honey, but be realistic please. You don't have the strength it will be very hazardous to have you walking up and down the stairs." Maura said as she turned her upper body to look at Jane.

"Listen to your _wife_, the _doctor_ will ya." Angela said sternly. "I'll get everything ready Maura."

"Thank you Angela." Maura said.

"What can I do?" Frankie asked.

Jane took a second before answering realizing that it would bring the reality of the situation to come crashing back down on them. What she needed to say had to be said though, and she wouldn't keep any secrets from her family not know when things where so fragile. "I need you to be there Frankie...Be there if things, if they don't go as planned." Jane could feel Maura's body tensing as she spoke those words.

Angela's face fell and she looked out the window at the now fully risen sun. Frankie looked straight ahead in to his sisters brown eyes and lifted his chin proudly as he said. "I won't let you down, your family will be safe with me."

Jane was so proud of the man her little brother had become, he was everything she had hoped for. Jane knew what she asked of him was no small task, he would be responsible for the well being of her family, but he accepted willingly. That proved his character, proved that he was a man of honor and someone she could rely on.

"Thank you Frankie!" Jane said as she reached both hands out for him to walk in to. Frankie held on to his sister with such strength. "I love you sis." Frankie whispered in to Jane's ear. "I love you Frankie." Jane responded.

"You have to live though ok, I can't be without you." Frankie whispered.

"I'm gonna do my best, but you have to go on if I don't, promise me." Jane whispered.

"I will Janie, I will, and I will be there for Maura and the kids I promise you. You won't have to worry about them, I will be strong when they can't." Frankie cried in his sister's ear.

Jane and Frankie held on to each other for a while not wanting to end the embrace that said so much. Maura rubbed soothing circles on Jane's back when she heard Jane crying. Angela mimicked Maura's pose from earlier wrapping the ends of her sweater around her self trying to remain where she was. It took every ounce of strength she had to not run to her children and embrace them, she knew they needed this moment. So she stood at the end of Jane's bed watching her children, Maura included.

Frankie pulled away when he heard Jane's door open. James walked in looking rather worse for the wear, but he held a smile on his lips that said he was glad to see Jane and her family. Maura helped Jane lay back down as she had sat up a little to hug Frankie, Frankie stood next to his mother allowing the doctor to get close to Jane.

"Jane, how are you feeling this morning?" James asked.

"Good." Jane quickly responded.

Maura glared at Jane telling her that she was in no mood to fight her on this. Jane sighed running her hand that was not currently connected to Maura's through her hair, but stopped when she remembered that her head was currently wrapped in gauze. "My head hurts and I'm tired, _but_ other than that I really am feeling good." Jane said.

"Have you been using your PCA button?" James asked.

"Yes."Jane answered.

"Okay, well I can see about uping the dose if you think you need it." James said

"No that's fine doc, the amount you got me on already knocks me on my ass." Jane said before receiving a small swat to her arm from Maura from her use of language.

James chuckled. "Well I glad your family is here because I think I found someone who is willing to perform surgery on you." He said with a huge smile on his face as he looked at all the shocked faces in the room.

"W..What." Maura stammered

"You serious." Jane said

"No shit." Frankie exclaimed.

"Frankie!" Angela shouted.

James laughed at the family all talking at once. "I worked straight through the bight making calls and calling in favors. The doctors name is Doctor Shepard and she is located in Seattle."

"Seattle...Jane cant make that trip." Maura said.

"I told you I used up some favors, she's coming to us." James said.

Maura covered her mouth and looked down at Jane. "Here's our chance, we have a chance love." Jane said.

* * *

><p><strong>AN So I had no intention of doing a Grey's Anatomy crossover but a faithful follower** **put the idea in my head. All the credit goes to tae200243. As with R & I, I claim no ownership of greys characters.**


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

"So I talked to Frankie he told me Flannigan and most of his crew have been jailed. I would like to move Jane back to Boston the hospital there is just better suited for the kind of surgery she will undergo." James said as he spoke to Maura while the two sat in the cafeteria drinking coffee.

Maura hadn't eaten or slept that much in days, Jane was able to convince her to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat, which is where she met James. They spoke about nothing important at first, he asked how the kids were holding up, if she needed anything. Maura being who she is wasn't up for small talk though she had asked James to go into more specifics about Dr. Shepard. He told her everything he knew about her, he spoke very highly of her and told Maura that she would be the only one he would trust to attempt a procedure like this. He had his issues with the level of care Jane would require during and after the surgery which led to his comments about transferring Jane.

"I know her vitals have been stable and she has no impairment's other than weakness and lethargy. I'm just concerned that the stress of the move will lead to another seizure or worse, her heart had stopped not but a few days ago James." Maura said as she picked at the lid on her coffee cup.

"She could also get hit by another vehicle and never make it back to Boston." James said

Maura looked up at him sharply. "What type of argument is that, I'm very aware of the statistics on motor vehicle crashes. I'm also very aware of what you are attempting to say, albeit not very tactfully." Maura sighed. "I just want some assurance that she will be alright."

"Maura, I will be with her the entire time. She will have access to every medicine and procedure that she has available to her now. Other than that I don't know what else to tell you, except that Jane needs to be moved it's what's best for her, isn't that what you want?" James said as he placed a comforting hand on Maura's hand stilling her stressful movements.

Maura half smiled. " Jane does the same thing your doing now, pretending that it's all about me to get what you want. I want to be in the ambulance with her, I will not budge on this."

James chuckled."As if I would expect you to be anywhere else. And by the way my boyfriend tells me that I have a knack for getting my way so there was no way I was going to let you leave here without agreeing."

"James...you...why didn't" Maura was cutoff by James chuckling.

"It's not something I care to mention to everyone, just those I feel a closeness with." James said proudly.

"Thank you James, Jane and I feel the same for you. You have done so much for us there's no way we could ever thank you enough. Just saying the word thank you seems quite trivial compared to what you have accomplished for us." Maura said as she wiped a lone tear from her face.

James squeezed Maura's hand, he had a gentle smile on his face."Maura my dear it has been and always will remain my pleasure."

Maura smiled back at him, she could feel herself becoming overcome with emotions that she has been trying to hold back so she decided to change the subject. Maura cleared her throat and asked. "Tell me about this man of yours, spare no detail."

Maura and James sat in the cafeteria for another hour talking oblivious to all around them. Maura hadn't felt this light in weeks. Upstairs in Jane's room the mood was anything but light. Angela had left to give Korsak a break and as much as they loved uncle Korsak he was no Nonna. That left Frankie and Jane alone to talk.

"Frankie you really need to sit and have a talk with Maura when you get the opportunity, you hurt her. She..this hasn't been easy on her and she tried to go back to what has saved her from pain in the past. She puts up these giant walls and it appears as if she doesn't care or isn't being affected by whats going on around her but inside she's crying out for help." Jane said to Frankie as he sat in a chair on the left side of Jane's bed.

"Janie she was going to let you die." Frankie said defensively

"Oh Frankie...Maura wasn't going to let me die. she was just going to walk away so she didn't have to be there when it happens. She's trying to protect her heart from the pain, can't you see that?" Jane asked.

"I...I get it, I just." Frankie stopped letting his head drop down.

"You just needed to take your anger out on someone and she was the easiest target." Jane said as she reached for her brothers hand.

Frankie met Jane's hand halfway and held on rubbing his thumb across the top of her hand. When he finally looked up he had tears running down his face. "I don't want to loose you." Frankie said quietly.

Jane took a slow deep breath trying to hold in the tears that she knew where not far away. Jane hated to see her family cry but it always crushed her to see her little brother cry, she was his big sister, his protector, she was supposed to make everything safe for him. Jane looked at Frankie and smiled. " I don't want to loose you either, but Frankie if it should happen you have to be the man I know you are you have to be strong cause the rest of the family is going to need someone. Please, please be the man that I know you are take care of our family and I promise I will always be with you."

Frankie shook his head yes and smiled at his sister through his tears. "Your not going anywhere, you're a Rizzoli we fight with everything we have in us."

"Yeah we do." Jane said as she smiled back at Frankie.

Just than Maura walked back in to the room, both siblings wiped at their tears and cleared their throats hoping Maura would not see the sadness in their faces. Fortunately for them Maura was caught up in information she was relaying to Jane. "So James and I have decided to transfer you back to Boston. With Flannigan out of the way there's no longer a threat to us so it would be prudent to have you where you will receive the best care." Maura stopped and looked at Jane than at Frankie. "Why have you been crying?"

"Sheesh does nothing get by you woman." Jane said with a smile on her face.

"Jane." Maura glared at Jane.

"Jane and I were having a heart to heart that's all, brother sister stuff." Frankie said.

"Oh, well I'm glad you have each other." Maura said with a tinge of anger towards Frankie.

Frankie looked to Jane and saw her tilt her head towards Maura as her back was turned towards them due to her putting her coffee down on the tray and her purse on the chair by Jane's bedside. Frankie huffed and said. "Hey Maura can I talk to you?"

Maura stared at Frankie with contempt, the words he had spoken had cut through her like a knife opening her up for the whole world to see. The words that were spoken cut deep, in no way did she want to let Jane go as payback for what she put her through, but she had given up on Jane for her own selfish reasons. To spare herself pain, to walk away from a situation that would undoubtedly cause her to loose herself to unbearable grief. She knew that in order to forgive herself she would also have to forgive Frankie.

"Yes Frankie I think we should." Maura said.

"Look..I said dome hurtful things I realize that now. You have to understand I was, I am hurting and I took my anger out on the easiest target. You don't deserve the things I said to you, you deserve the understanding that you are going through this just like all of us. I may not be as close to Jane as you are but the pain is just as real, I'm sorry Maura can you forgive me." Frankie said as he stood with his hands in his pockets.

Jane watched as Maura walked over to Frankie and placed her arms around his neck pulling him in for a hug. "I'll forgive you if you can forgive me for letting the fear get the best of me. I almost walked away from the best thing in my life out of fear and I am truly sorry." Maura said.

Frankie removed his hands from his pockets and wrapped his arms around Maura's waist. " I forgive you."

"I forgive you." Maura said.

"OK get your hands off my woman your both forgiven now get over here woman, I need to feel you." Jane said.

Maura turned in Frankie's arms smiling, as she let go of Frankie she approached Jane's bedside and sat on the edge of the bed placing her left hand over Jane's body than leaned down and placed her right hand on Jane's cheek before she placed her soft peach flavored lips to Jane's. " Better." Maura asked.

"Hmmm almost." Jane said as she pulled Maura back down and kissed her passionately leaving both women out of breath. They rested there foreheads together.

Frankie cleared his throat. "Yeah I guess I'll just leave you two alone. I need to eat something anyway."

Both Jane and Maura began to laugh at Frankie's uncomfortableness. Maura sat up and said. "There's a cute nurse at the end of the hall, she asked about you."

"Really, asked about me? Well than I might be gone for a while feel free to do whatever it is you ladies do." Frankie said.

"EWWW, really Frankie, get out." Jane said as she glared at him. Frankie left the room laughing.

Maura rubbed her hand up Jane's arm. "So what do you think about the transfer?" Maura asked.

"I think it's a great idea, it get's me closer to the kids too." Jane said with a smile.

"Great than I'll tell James to start the process." Maura said.

"When does Dr. Shepard get here?" Jane asked.

"Tomorrow." Maura replied.

"Jane what were you and Frankie talking about?" Maura asked as she laced her fingers with Jane's.

"Maura don't do this to yourself." Jane warned.

"Jane please answer my question." Maura replied as she looked up in to Jane's eyes.

Jane sighed and said."I asked him to look after you and the rest of the family."

Maura looked at Jane for a bit before standing up and walking over to the window, arms crossed over her waist. "When?"

"When what?" Jane asked sensing by Maura's body language she was furious.

"When did you give up." Maura asked as she turned to look at Jane. "We are all fighting with everything we have for you, why would you give up."

"Baby come here." Jane said with an outstretched arm.

Maura stood still in her spot by the window not willing to be charmed by the likes of Jane Rizzoli. She was mad and she wanted to stay that way.

"Maur, listen please. I'm not giving up I plan on fighting till my last breath, but I also like to be prepared and if the worst should happen I want...no I need to know you and the kids and my ma will be taken care of. That's all it was a just in case talk, that's it." Jane said pleading with Maura to understand.

Maura looked down at her shoes and than back up in to Jane's loving stare. She slowly made her way back to Jane's bedside she sat down pushing her shoes off. Maura than laid down on her side with her back to Jane. Jane smiled and turned to spoon Maura. As she held her tight she kissed her shoulder and rested her chin there whispering in her ear. " I will never give up on us, as long as there is a chance I will fight for you."

Maura smiled and grabbed hold of Jane's arm that rested across her abdomen pulling it up to her mouth where she placed a kiss on Jane's palm. "Thank you for loving me."

"Easiest thing in the world." Jane said.

Both woman laid there holding on to each other relishing in the feeling of the others body. It wasn't to long after that Maura had fallen asleep, she hadn't slept much in the last few days. Jane was contempt to just hold her and listen to her breathe knowing that she was safe in her arms, Jane wished they could stay that way forever but knew in her heart that these moments were coming to an end.

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><p><strong>AN So not my best chapter but somethings in here needed to be said. I think we have about three chapters left to this story I'd like to thank all of you for following and reviewing. **


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

"You ready for this?" James asked.

"Boston here I come." Jane responded.

"Here _we_ come" Maura added.

"That's right we're headed back, to our kids, to our home, and to our life." Jane said as she kissed Maura's cheek.

Jane sat on the edge of her bed waiting to walk the couple of steps to the awaiting stretcher. Today was the day that they were going to transfer Jane back to Boston. Maura and Dr. Becher would ride in the ambulance with her, Frankie would follow in his cruiser. Angela and Korsak would wait at home with the kids, and take turns visiting Jane once she arrived.

"Okay we're ready." The EMT said.

Jane stood with Maura's help, Jane struggled but walked the three steps it took to get to the stretcher. She sat down gingerly, Maura helped and glared at anybody who tried to step in and take over. Jane sat for a moment catching her breath she smiled lazily at Maura letting her know she was okay. Jane's sweat pant covered legs were lifted on to the stretcher as her body rotated to a lying position. Jane's t-shirt was showing signs of the sweat that her body had produced with that limited movement. Maura had never seen Jane so fragile, tears sprung to life in her eyes but she managed to hold them there not wanting to worry Jane.

Jane was transported down the hall, in to an elevator and thru the ambulance bay. The stretcher she was lying on was lifted in to the ambulance with an Paramedic, Maura, and James all following.

"Detective Rizzoli would you like me to lift your head up?" The medic asked.

Jane chuckled."Just call me Jane kid, and yes that would be nice."

The medic lifted up on the head of the stretcher lifting Jane's head up so she could see outside the back window. He sat behind her monitoring her vitals, Maura and James sat on the bench seat across from Jane with Maura at Jane's head holding her hand. James would check Jane's vitals with the on board monitor every half hour which annoyed Jane but after receiving a warning glare from Maura she thought better of complaining about it.

Jane would see Frankie wave at her when they where stopped at lights, she would smile and wave back. Ten minutes prior to their arrival Jane began to grit her teeth and grab her chest.

"Jane!" Maura said.

"Pain, pain in chest." Jane responded.

James looked to the monitor and was very worried by what he saw her EKG was showing signs of an irregular heartbeat, her pulse was extremely high but her blood pressure was low. The medic looked to James. "Dr. Becher what do you want to do.?"

"Open her fluids up wide." James said.

"Jane look at me, we have to get your heart out of the rhythm its in or you can suffer a heart attack." James said.

"Why is this happening?" Jane asked.

"I surmise that it has to do with the tumor pressing on your brain stem." James said.

"Do what you have to." Jane said.

"Cardiovert her." James told the medic.

"Jane this is going to hurt."James said.

Maura grabbed on to Jane's hand with both of hers." I'm right here."

"Maura you need to let go." James told Maura.

Maura knew that she would be shocked as well if she held on to Jane but letting go was hard to do. The medic lowered Jane's head and he prepared the monitor to shock Jane's heart back to a regular heart beat. "Here we go Jane." James said, Jane shook her head yes and took a deep breath preparing for the pain.

to Jane it sounded as though the monitor was winding up before she heard two beeps and than felt as though someone had just slammed her chest with a two by four. She felt light headed but she could hear James say "Again." Jane tried to say Maura's name but nothing came out. BAM it hit her again, she felt as though she couldn't breath this time, she heard Maura"Jane focus on my voice, breathe Jane, focus on me my love."

Jane saw an oxygen mask coming toward her face and could feel the rush of cold air coming out, surrounding her lips. She turned her head to look at Maura reaching her hand out for her, all Maura could do is shake her head. "I can't baby, But as soon as I can I will have a hold of your hand and never let go of it again." Maura said as tears poured down her cheeks wetting her blouse.

"Again." James yelled.

Jane kept her eyes on Maura as she tried to catch her breath, BAM she was shocked again. Jane felt a rush of air fill her lungs and the pain in her chest began to lessen. James yelled "YES!" Maura's hands were on Jane the second James shook his head yes at her. Jane tried to take the mask of her face but Maura stopped her "No Jane leave it on it will help."

Jane shook her head no and said through the mask just for a minute. Maura moved the mask down. "Are we out of the woods?"

"Yes your heart is back to a regular rhythm now." James said.

"Good cause that hurt like a bitch! I'd hate to think it was for nothing." Jane said.

"Jane language." Maura said with a smile.

"I can give you something for the pain if you would like." James said.

"Will it make me fall asleep?" Jane asked.

"Yes."James said.

"I'm good, thanks." Jane responded.

"Jane, please." Maura said as she tilted her head to the side.

Jane reached up and wiped Maura's tears away with the palms of her hands allowing Maura to feel the roughness of Jane's scars against her cheeks. "I need to be with you right now, please don't take that from me." Jane said.

Maura could understand Jane's need to be with her it was the same soul crushing desire she had. Maura leaned down and kissed Jane's lips smiling into the kiss as she leaned away she said." For you I would do anything, all you need is to ask."

Jane placed her oxygen mask back on her face and smiled squeezing Maura's hand tightly reassuring her that she was here, that she was alive and they were together.

Upon their arrival at Mass General they were greeted by Dr. Shepherd. She was waiting in the ICU room they had set up and waiting for Jane. James saw her first. " Amelia, it's so great to see you. Thank you for doing this you have no idea what it means."

"James it's great to see you too, I'm happy I could help after hearing about this case I couldn't walk away." Amelia responded.

Maura was occupied with watching over Jane being transferred from the stretcher to the hospital bed, and having all kinds of wires and tubes placed in and around her body that she hadn't even noticed Dr. Shepherd. Amelia pulled James aside and asked. "Did something happen on the way here or is the wife always look like she has just walked through hell in Prada?"

"Yeah well on the way here Jane went in to an irregular heart beat we had to cardiovert three time to get her out of it. That and the fact that you are literally their last hope has put her on edge as of late." James said.

"James that changes everything if her heart isn't strong enough for surgery than it doesn't matter what I do she's going to crash on the table." Amelia said.

"I know, I know it looks bad but believe me when I say this is the strongest patient you have ever met she will fight with all that she has. All they want is to not give up, to try everything and that's where you come in. We need you to work your magic cause if any one needs your kind of miracles its this one, she needs you." James pleaded.

"James, I appreciate the sentiment but I can't heal her head and heart I'm not that good." Amelia said.

"Her heart has only been stressed due to the location of the tumor it's begun to evade the space near her brain stem. If she doesn't have this surgery she dies, so if you try and she dies there's no change in the outcome right?" James said.

Amelia placed her hands in the pockets of her lab coat as she sighed. She looked sideways at Jane lying on the bed with Maura wiping hair from her forehead and whispering something that was making Jane smile. She turned her head back to James. "I'm going to need the best cardiologist this town has in there with me." she said.

James smiled and placed a hand on Amelia's upper arm. "Thank you, you'll see when you talk to them their worth it, Their worth all of it."

Amelia smiled and walked away from James towards Maura who was leaning over Jane's right side. "Dr. Rizzoli."

Maura turned standing straight eying this very young looking woman standing in front of her. "Hi I'm Dr. Shepherd, I'll be performing your wife's surgery." Amelia said as she held out her hand.

Maura being raised as she was took the offered hand in hers, but she was worried about the lack of experience someone so young could have to perform such a delicate and dangerous surgery. "It's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Shepherd, we are so pleased that you have accepted Dr. Becher's request for help on my wife's case"

"Well when James called and showed me your wife's scans I was confident I could remove all of the tumor." Amelia said.

"You are pretty sure of your self." Jane said.

"Jane!" Maura admonished.

"What, I mean some doc calls you up and shows you a tumor that no one will look at let alone touch and you just what say ah this is nothing, easy as pie. I'm only asking here doc cause well as we all know this is my life on the line, I'd like some reassurance that you know what your doing." Jane said sounding winded.

"Jane please, I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd my wife can be a bit abrasive at times." Maura said as she glared at Jane.

"What like you weren't thinking the same thing." Jane said.

"I think what my wife is trying to say and could have said in a more polite way seeing as you came all this way just for her is, do you have the experience needed to take on a tumor of this kind." Maura said.

Amelia smiled and walked closer to Jane and Maura taking her hands out of her pockets. She looked at both of them before saying with all the confidence any of them has seen. "I will remove this tumor, after that I will accept your apology Jane." Amelia said with a small smile.

Jane chuckled and said. "You got yourself a deal doc."

"Well than I'm going to go schedule you for another scan and get this party started. Any further questions?" Amelia asked.

"No thank you Dr. Shepherd, thank you for coming all this way and committing to do what everyone else has told us is impossible...I cant put words to what this truly means." Maura said as she began to choke up.

Amelia reached out and placed her hand on Maura's squeezing gently. " I get it, trust me I do." Amelia said looking sad as she remembered her brother and what he went though.

Amelia walked out of the room and James walked over to Maura and Jane. "How bout that pain medication now?"

"Yeah I could really use something to take the edge off." Jane said.

"I think I could do better than that. We have you hooked up to a PCA again so just push the button and the medicine will be delivered through your I.V tubing." James said.

Jane pushed the button right away telling Maura that Jane was in a lot of pain. Maura pulled a chair over and grabbed hold of Jane's hand saying. "Never letting go remember." Jane smiled she was becoming groggy, Jane kept her gaze on Maura until her eye lids shut, but before she fell asleep completely she mumbled. " Love you babe."

James placed his hand on Maura's shoulder as she sat there holding on to her wife's hand. "We need to talk."

Maura looked straight ahead to Jane's pale face still holding the small smile her lips had formed for Jane, before she said. "No we don't."

"Maura now is not the time to stick your head in the sand." James said.

"James I will never forget or be able to repay you for the kindness you have showed my family, but please do not take my unwillingness to hear what you have to say as my avoidance. You forget I'm a doctor as well I know how fragile her heart is, I just can't do this right now." Maura said as she remained seated looking at Jane.

James moved so he was standing in front of Maura. "Maura sweetheart, if not now than when. There is never going to be a good time to discuss this."

Maura lowered her head and sighed, she looked back up at James and said. "What?"

"Dr. Shepherd has requested a top cardiologist be in the room with her she and I are worried that Jane's heart wont be able to take the stress of such a lengthy surgery. She almost called the whole thing off but I convinced her that if anyone could survive this Jane would."James said but was cutoff by Maura.

"Your right Jane is the one who could beat all the odds. I know that she has a hell of a hill to climb but Jane will do it she promised...she promised." Maura said as she broke down and began to sob. James kneeled down and took her in his arms holding her and rocked the broken woman back and forth trying to comfort her, and through it all Maura never once let go of Jane's hand.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

**A/N Any likeness to any person living or not is purely coincidental please don't start yelling at me if any one mentioned in this story resembles that of someone you know or you your as I've said before I claim no ownership of the Rizzoli and Isles characters I do claim ownership over this plot however fascinating you may find it.  
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"So your scans are back and unfortunately the tumor has grown two centimeters."Amelia said as she walked in to Jane's room.

Maura sat there still holding Jane's hand looking exhausted. Jane was sitting up in bed, trying to mask the pain she was in. "And that means?" Jane said.

"We need to perform this surgery today, the sooner the better." Amelia said.

"I..I haven't had a chance to see my kids or my ma yet." Jane said panicked that the moment was finally here.

"Jane we will get your mother here before you go to surgery as for the kids we can facetime them. I had my family pull some strings and I got you one of the areas best cardiologists to assist." Maura said with a little more pep to her voice seeing as the moment they had feared was now here.

"Who?" Amelia asked.

Dr. Danvers, he's been forwarded all Jane's case notes and he will be here in approximately an hour." Maura responded.

"I've heard of him he's very well respected, and highly skilled. Thank you for that it will be great to have him in there with us." Amelia said.

"So I'll go get every thing set up, surgery in a couple hours Detective." Amelia said with a smile.

"Wow..this is really happening." Jane said.

Maura rubbed Jane's thigh with her free hand as she has yet to let go of Jane's right hand. "This is a good thing." Maura said.

"I've got you Jane." Dr. Shepherd said.

Jane smiled at both woman. "Let's get this party started than."

"On it." Amelia said as she left the two woman alone.

Jane stared off straight ahead while Maura continued to stroke Jane's thigh. "What are you thinking?" Maura asked.

"This is is it Maura this is our chance our only chance what if I fail you." Jane said as she turned to look at Maura with tears in her eyes.

Maura looked down at the entwined hands before looking up with a smile on her face and saying. "You have never failed me before, I'm not sure how to answer that."

"I failed our marriage and there for you when we separated and supposedly divorced. How did you get through it than." Jane said in a hushed tone knowing she was bringing up some sensitive subject matter.

Maura picked at a loose thread on Jane's blanket before answering. " Hope, hope that you would return to me."

"We need more than hope right now." Jane said immediately.

"Yes we do, but I also have to hold on to hope because I'll break with out it." Maura said sadly.

"I'm sorry." Jane said.

"For what?" Maura asked.

"For everything you have had to go through because of me. I'm not a perfect woman, but my love for you is. I strived to be the person you needed in your life, I wasted nothing on making myself a better person for you. Yet here we are and all I have seen in your eyes is pain and sorrow. I miss the light that filled your eyes the happiness that filled them even when you where tired from a long case or things not going right at home. you always had a look in your eyes that reached out and filled myself with a warmth. That look is gone know, it has been replaced by sorrow, angst, and despair. So I'm sorry, I'm sorry I took the light away from your eyes." Jane said.

Maura climbed in to Jane's bed lying on her side pulling Jane on to her side so they were face to face. there arms wrapped around one another. "You have taken nothing from me, Jane Rizzoli. You have given me so much, yes I'm sad and you of all people are going to notice that, but please hear me when I say that you have nothing to be sorry for this is not your fault. I love you Jane, I will always love you no matter what may come." Maura said with tears falling down her face landing on the crisp white pillow beneath their heads.

Both woman lay there holding each other for what felt like to short of time, but they both knew calls needed to be made. First was to Angela she planned on getting the sitter to watch the kids so that Korsak could drive her over to the hospital. The second was to Frankie who had left the hospital a few hours ago for a change of clothes for Maura and himself. The last was to the twins they talked for almost an hour to their ma, completely unaware of the terrifying grip that was surrounding Jane as the clock ticked closer to her surgery time.

"Bye my love's, Ma loves you so so much." Jane said as she ended the call. She wanted to add more but the tears that she had managed to hold back were now beginning to fall and she didn't want to worry the kids.

Angela, Korsak , and Frankie arrived at the hospital looking worse for the ware. Angela smothered Jane in a bone crushing hug.

"OK Ma, can't breathe here." Jane said faking being suffocated even though she really didn't want to let her mother go and Angela knew this by how tight Jane's grip was on her.

"You love my hugs, one day you'll admit it." Angela said.

Jane smiled at Angela, Korsak came around to Jane's left bedside and gave her a quick hug. "Looking ready kiddo."

"Thanks Korsak." Jane said.

Frankie handed Maura her clothes than gave Jane a hug. "Looking good sis." He said.

"You're a terrible liar." Jane said with a huge smile.

Frankie chuckled. "When are they bringing you in?" Frankie asked.

Just than Dr. Shepherd and a team of nurses and residents walked in. "Well Jane sorry about the short notice but were here to bring you down to surgery now." Amelia said.

Jane took a deep breath and looked over at Maura who was standing holding on to her right hand. "Here we go."

"I'll be waiting for you." Maura said.

"Don't wait forever." Jane responded.

"There will never be another Jane, you brought out the best of me, a part of me I've never seen. All I want is you, all I need is you so if I have to wait forever so be it." Maura said as she leaned down and placed a kiss to Jane's lips.

As they wheeled Jane away Maura was forced to let go of Jane's hand causing her to feel as if the breath had been ripped from her lungs. Frankie was by her side as he saw her having difficulty breathing. "Maura, you ok?"

"No, no I'm not." Maura responded.

A nurse led Maura and the rest of the family in to a Private room arranged by Maura's family, so they wouldn't have to wait in the family waiting room. There were three beds setup, and a full bathroom. Maura excused her self to shower and change clothes. As she stared in the mirror she broke down, she could still feel Jane's skin on her hand. Maura slid down and let the tears flow not caring if the others could hear her over the sound of the shower running.

Maura reappeared physically clean and put together but emotionally she was wrecked. Angela could sense this when she looked at her. "Maura, why don't you lie down and try to get some rest. Jane is going to be in surgery for at least ten hours, your going to want to be at your strongest when she gets out." Angela said.

"Thank you Angela, for the concern that is, but i would rather wait for news of Jane's progress." Maura responded.

"I promise we will wake you if there's any news that's not of the norm. In fact I think we should all try to get some rest, maybe take shifts, that way we are all at are best for Jane." Korsak said.

"That sounds like an excellent idea, Frankie I know you have been watching over your sister almost as much as Maura you two should sleep first." Angela said.

"Ma I'm not tired." Frankie protested.

Angela walked over to Frankie and placed a loving hand on his left cheek. "Frankie I'm your mother I know you're tired. Plus it will help us convince Maura to get some rest, look at her honey she really needs it." Angela said in a hushed tone so only her and Frankie could hear.

"Maura we should probably do as they say, besides Jane will be furious if were both falling over from exhaustion." Frankie said as he, Angela and Korsak looked to see if Maura would acquiesce.

Maura looked at each of their faces and saw that they only reflected the love that each had for her. She wanted to be up for every report and felt as though she would be missing out on something if she was asleep, but Maura also knew that what they said held the truth in it. She needed to be at her best for Jane and that would only happen if she could get her mind to rest long enough to allow her self to reset and prepare for the road ahead. She had to admit now that she thought of it she felt as though she could fall asleep standing she was so exhausted.

"Okay, I think there is some credence in what you are saying. I will try to get some rest but please wake me if there's any news that _I_ would deem serious." Maura said.

"Of course."Angela said.

Both Frankie and Maura walked over to their own beds and laid down. Angela and Korsak sat down in chairs that lined the window. Angela looked at the clock on the wall over the door and noted the time taking a deep breath as her own fears began to creep up. Angela looked down at her right hand when she felt a pressure, Korsak had grabbed a hold of her hand without looking in her direction when he heard her sigh. Angela smiled thankful for his presence, she returned her gaze to the clock watching as the time slowly ticked on.

"How's her intercranial pressure?"Amelia asked the anesthesiologist.

"It remains the same." She answered.

"Time?" Amelia asked out loud.

"You have been in for six hours forty seven minutes Dr. Shepherd." A nurse answered.

"I'm approaching the brain stem, report to the family please." Amelia requested.

Maura had woken up about an hour ago getting a solid five hours of sleep, she had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She know paced the floor glancing at the clock above the door with every pass. Frankie stood looking out the window, Angela and Korsak had gone for coffee. Maura ran her hands through her hair one more time before sighing.

"I know." Frankie said as he looked over his shoulder at her.

"Your mother did say that the nurse had stated she would come back with another report did she not." Maura said.

"We just have to be patient." Frankie said.

Just than the door opened both Frankie and Maura stopped and looked, anticipating the operating room nurse. Both parties were disappointed when they saw Angela and Korsak walk through. Angela saw the look in their faces.

"Well it's nice to see you too." Angela said sarcastically.

"Sorry Angela." Maura said.

"Yeah sorry Ma." Frankie said.

"It's fine, I understand." Angela responded.

Angela and Korsak handed Frankie and Maura their coffee's before heading over to the chairs they sat in before with their own. They both planned on trying to sleep a little after their decaf coffee's, as they all drank in silence the door opened once again and in walked Jane. she had all her swagger and stood in the doorway smiling wide dressed in her dress blues.

"Jane." Maura whispered.

Jane stood there smiling, she held her right hand out to Maura.

"Jane what are you doing here? How did you..." Maura asked but was interrupted by Jane.

"You ask to many questions." Jane said chuckling.

As Jane said that Maura looked around the room to see what the others reactions would be, they were no longer there. "Where...What's going on?" She asked as she looked back to Jane who was walking slowly towards her.

"I came for you." Jane said.

"Your in surgery." Maura said.

Jane shook her head no and walked right up to Maura, interlacing their right and left hands together without looking down. " I'm where you are."

"How...this doesn't make sense. Jane why are you here?" Maura asked as Jane slid her left hand on to Maura's cheek placing her thumb on Maura's temple and the other fingers rested gently on the back of her neck.

"I'm here for you." Jane said as she placed a gentle yet chaste kiss to Maura's plump lips.

Maura moaned in to the kiss, as she closed her eyes. When she slowly opened them again the two woman stood alone in their bedroom. Maura looked around slowly, tears forming in her beautifully mesmerizing hazel eyes. as she looked upon Jane's form once more she whispered. "You are not real...I'm dreaming."

"Do you want to wake up?" Jane asked as she began to sway them side to side.

"Yes...No...I'm not sure." Maura responded as tears began to drop from her eyes.

"Close your eyes...now breathe deep...open your eyes." Jane asked all these things of Maura and she did as asked.

"Do you want to wake up?" Jane asked again

Maura ran her right hand up Jane's back, resting it on the back of her neck. "Never again." she said as she kissed Jane with all the passion she felt for the alluring woman in her grasp.

Jane began to walk Maura backwards toward the bed, not stopping until the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed. Maura moaned and opened her mouth granting Jane the access she felt Jane requesting as she nipped at her bottom lip. Maura wanted to keep things slow because she knew that it would all be over way to soon for her liking. Maura's brain had told her that this was all a dream but her heart felt every caress and heard every whisper of her name being released from Jane's lips.

Maura slowly undid Jane's tie, using her right hand to sensually slip it off Jane's neck, her left hand remained in Jane's right hand. Jane pulled the zipper on Maura's dress down one in which she wasn't wearing when she went to bed. The dress slid down Maura's toned torso, stopping at her waist, revealing her sensual silk covered bust. Maura pushed Jane's jacket off her shoulders, than began work of undoing each of the buttons on Jane's shirt with one hand. This dance of removing articles of clothing took place all the while both woman's lips remained locked in a dance that showed their love, need, and desire for the other. It only stopped when the last piece of clothing was removed by Jane, she lowered her body slipping Maura's silk panties off with her left hand.

Both woman now laid together in bed completely void of any clothing. Jane and Maura faced each other, lying on their sides. Jane placed kisses to Maura's shoulder, gently biting along the way. " Tell me what you want." Jane said.

Maura rolled on top of Jane grinding her core into Jane's, placing both hands on either side of Jane's head. Maura bite down on her lip at the pleasure she felt at being with Jane, she moved one hand from the bed to cover Jane's modest breast, toying with the nipple with her nimble fingers. " I want, no I need you to be with me like this forever." Maura responded.

Jane rolled the two panting woman over maintaining the friction on Maura's core with her own. She held herself up on her left elbow while sliding her right hand down Maura's gorgeous body until her hand rested just above Maura's clit. " Where ever you are, I am." Jane said right before she slowly pushed three fingers in to Maura's core using her hips to help penetrate Maura. Maura wrapped her legs around Jane's waist urging her on with words like. " Fuck!." and " Oh Jane more." or " Harder."

Jane could feel Maura's walls tightening around her fingers and felt the warmth of her cum building around her hand. She knew Maura was close, Jane looked lovingly in to Maura's eyes and said. " Let go." right before she swallowed Maura's screams up in a passionate and sloppy kiss.

Maura opened her eyes to Jane lying next to her smiling as she rubbed lazy circles on Maura's toned abdomen. "Pretty proud of yourself aren't you." Maura said with a chuckle.

"Always." Jane responded.

Jane pulled the crisp white sheets up over there heads and began to tickle Maura's sides. Maura laughed like she used to before Jane became sick and hurt her so badly. A light shined through the sheet illuminating their bodies, Jane smiled her classic Rizzoli grin at Maura and said. "I love your laugh, promise me you'll never stop laughing."

Maura slowly stopped laughing and looked up at Jane, placing a hand on her cheek. "Why?" Maura asked.

"It's time Maur." Jane said as she placed a kiss to Maura's nose.

Maura tried to sit up but couldn't. "Time for what?" Maura's voice was laced with fear.

Jane's eyes filled with tears, tears that landed on Maura's bare chest. "I have to go now." Jane said as she pushed a strand of Maura's hair back behind her ear.

"No...Stay." Maura said as she to began to cry.

"I'm sorry Maur." Jane said as she began to sob.

"No, don't, please Jane, please just a little longer." Maura cried.

"I will always be with you, I promise you that." Jane said as she kissed Maura's left hand that clutched her right hand.

"I can't do this with out you." Maura said as she let go of Jane's hand and wrapped her hands around the back of Jane's neck.

"You can...you will. I'm so so sorry Maura!" Jane said.

"STOP, stop saying that. You are going to be fine you will, you'll see." Maura was becoming angered by the situation she didn't want to say goodbye.

"You have to wake up now, you have to be a mother to our two incredibly talented and beautiful children. You have to wake up Maur, you have to say goodbye!" Jane said as she sobbed holding on to Maura just as tightly as Maura held on to her.

"Please...Just a little longer." Maura pleaded.

"It won't make it any easier." Jane said.

Maura pulled back and stared in to Jane's eyes. "I have never loved anyone the way I loved you. I will miss your smile, voice and laugh everyday." Maura had to stop as she began to sob as well she held back the tears long enough to continue. " I will always remain Mrs. Jane Rizzoli in my soul, no matter what you tell me to do."

That last sentence caused Jane to chuckle a little through her sobs. Both woman kissed for what was the last time, it was a kiss that spoke volumes. As they parted for lack of oxygen Maura smiled sadly at Jane placing a hand on her cheek and said " I'm ready."

"I will always be with you." Jane said.

"And I will always know that in my heart and soul." Maura said.

Both woman wrapped their arms around each other grasping at any amount of skin they could feel. Jane kissed the side of Maura's head a couple of time's before whispering in to her ear. " Goodbye."

Maura opened her eyes and took in the scene before her. Frankie was asleep in the bed next to hers, and Angela had her head on Korsaks shoulder as they sat in the chairs in front of the window. Maura sat up and looked at the clock she had been asleep for about eight hours. Her eyes began to well up with tears as the very realastic dream she just had hit her.

"Maura sweetie what's wrong?" Angela asked as she saw Maura crying.

Maura stood up from the bed and began to place her shoes on, she was now sobbing violently. "Maura what's wrong?" Angela asked once again as she stood up with Korsak. Frankie was awoken by the commotion in the room.

"What's going on?" Frankie asked as he cleared the sleep from his eyes.

Maura walked over to the door stopping just short of it as Angela called her name. Maura turned around and asked. "When's the last time someone updated you?" Maura asked as she wiped furiously at the tears pouring from her hazel eyes.

"Is that what, I don't know three hours ago." Korsak said.

"She's already gone." Maura said more to her self than anyone else but it still came out loud enough for everyone else to hear.

"What are you talking about? Janie, how do you know? Maura talk to us." Frankie said as he stood.

"I...I had a dream, Jane she..."Maura began to explain.

"Honey, that was just a nightmare, Jane is fine we would know by now if something happened." Angela said.

"No it was real." Maura said as she wrapped her arms around her torso.

"Maura you had a nightmare, if Jane died a doctor would have come to talk to us." Frankie said.

Just than Dr. Shepherd walked through the door with a stricken look to her face. Maura turned to look at her and almost fell to the ground if it not for Frankie catching her. She sobbed uncontrollably in to his arms and yelled. "She's gone."

**A/N Okay before you all start to revolt, PLEASE JUST REMEMBER WHAT I PROMISED! Also next chapter will be the last.  
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	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

**A/N Well we have come to the end of this story I want to give a loud shout of thanks to those of you who have been with me since day on and those of you who are just now joining us. This story has been very cathartic to write, while loosing someone my self. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you and see you again!**

Maura's toned legs strode along the pavement with ease, each step growing in strength as she ran. She breathed in through her nose out through her mouth, arms moving up and down her sides glistening in the summer sun with a light covering of sweat. She passed others on the streets without sparing them a second glance, her mind was else where, the same place it had been every morning run. As she ran closer to home the loneliness that has filled her heart began to creep its way back in to her mind and soul. Maura prided her self on her independence it was a source of comfort for her that is until she met and fell in love with a tall, beautiful, detective who had showed her that being alone wasn't as good as she had told herself it was for all those years before her.

Maura unlocked her front door and walked in dropping her keys in the bowl that sat on the table by the front door. She had toed her running shoes off and carried them with her to the refrigerator grabbing a bottle of water, as she closed the door the sight before her made her smile softly. It was a picture of her and Jane holding each other as they laid in the hammock out back, it was one of Maura's favorites. She touched the picture lightly before turning and climbing the stairs Maura placed her shoes back in their place in her closet. She walked to her ensuite and removed her clothing after turning the shower on, she placed them in the hamper to the right of the door. As she stepped in the shower she noticed a bottle of Jane's shampoo she slowly reached out for it and opened it pulling it to her nose taking in the scent that was truly Jane. Maura lingered there for far to long with the bottle in hand until she placed it back on the shelf letting her forefingers linger for a bit.

Maura stepped in to the rain head she had in her shower and allowed the water to cascade down her head, covering her face, and down her tired body. She took her time washing up this morning as it was a particularly hard one to deal with. As she finished her shower she turned the water off and grabbed a towel that hung from the door as she did a shirt fell on to the floor. Maura stood still recognizing immediately who's it was, Jane must have left it there the last time she took a shower. Maura wrapped herself in the over sized towel and slowly bent down picking up the garment off the floor, she pulled it to her chest and walked over to her bed sitting in the edge. Maura stared straight ahead as she lifted the shirt up to her nose and inhaled slowly and deeply, a lone tear fell from her right eye. she wiped at it with the palm of her hand.

Maura sat there on the edge of her bed holding on to Jane's collared shirt in a daze until the phone rang out. She sat there hoping that whomever was calling would just go away, but the phone began to ring again shortly after it had stopped the first time. Maura stood up and walked over to her night stand lifting her phone up to see who was calling, the screen showed Frankie's name, she did not want to deal with him at that point so she let it go to voicemail. Maura decided she needed to get her day started so she turned on her radio feeling like some music would cheer her up. As Maura was in her closet getting her outfit for the day a song came on the radio that stopped her in her tracks.

_All I want is nothing more than to hear you knocking at my door,cause if I can see your face once more I can die a happy man I'm sure. when you said your last goodbye I died a little bit inside, I lay in tears in bed all night alone without you by my side._

_But If you loved me why'd you leave me take my body, take my body, all I want is, all I need is to find somebody find somebody like you._

_See you brought out the best of me a part of me I've never seen you took my soul and wiped it clean our love was made for movie screens._

_But if you loved me why'd you leave me..._

Maura had heard enough she shut the radio off before the song had ended. Just another reminder of what she couldn't have. She felt the tears welling up again she worked her skillful art of evasion and took a deep breath telling herself _everything is okay, you are Dr. Maura Isles, you can handle this. _she said this a few times before she felt collected enough to walk downstairs and start her day.

"Jane...Janie...Jane wake up sis." Frankie yelled.

Jane opened one of her eyes confused as to where she was the last thing she remembers was being wheeled in to surgery. Jane opened both eyes to see Korsak and Frankie standing over her. She turned her head and noticed that she was in an ambulance. "What's going on? Did the surgery work?"

"Jane what surgery what are you talking about?" Korsak asked.

"What is going on?" Jane demanded as she sat up on the stretcher looking out the back of the ambulance, her heart dropped along with her mouth at what she saw.

"The warehouse." Jane said

"Yeah Janie the warehouse, the one we just searched and found our suspect." Frankie said.

"So that means...It was all a... dream." Jane said more to herself than anyone else.

"Jane your not making any sense...look you where out for a while you fell through that cat walk, thankfully landing on that SOB. You need to get your head checked at the hospital." Korsak said.

Jane began to get up from the stretcher. "Jane lay back down." Frankie demanded.

"I need to see Maura." Jane said.

"I'll call her she can meet us at the hospital." Frankie said as he reached for his phone. "She's not answering." He said.

"Dammit i need to talk to her now, I'm fine guys, I've been through worse." Jane pleaded.

"Angela is going to kill us." Korsak said.

"I'm more worried bout Maura." Frankie responded.

"Look I'm going with or with out you, you do realize that. So either you drive me or I drive myself which would you rather."Jane said as she stood up and passed the two men jumping down from the ambulance.

"Where do you think your going?" The paramedic said.

"Simmer down, I'm fine I've taken harder hits." Jane said while she placed her hand on the side of the ambulance suddenly feeling woozy.

"She can't drive like that, and she's not going to give in till she see's Maura." Korsak said.

"Fine but I'll be waiting outside and as soon as your done with whatever is so important I'm driving you to the hospital for a full work up, no fighting." Frankie said.

"Thank you, thank you, little brother." Jane said beaming at the news she would be able to see Maura alive and sorta well.

Frankie pulled up to Maura's home and looked over to his sister. "You look like shit."

"Gee thanks, you fall through a catwalk and see how peachy you come out." Jane said.

"What's so important that you need to see Maura right away any how?" Frankie asked.

"Destiny." Jane said as she got out of his car and walked up to Maura's door. She looked at her wrist watch to make sure Maura would still be at home before knocking. Jane could hear the all too recognizable sound of Maura's heels walking towards the door.

Maura swung the door open shocked at the sight in front of her, Jane Rizzoli was standing at her door looking a little worse for the ware but still beautiful as ever. "Jane what are you doing here? Were you not on a search of a warehouse last night, you should be home resting after a long night like that."

"Maura can we talk?" Jane asked.

"About?" Maura responded.

"Us." Jane said with a grin.

Maura opened her door more for Jane to enter, before she closed it Maura smiled from ear to ear.

THE END.

**A/N THE SONG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORY IS ALL I WANT BY KODALINE. I CLAIM NO OWNERSHIP OF THEIR BEAUTIFUL SONG.**


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N I am astounded by the reviews you have posted. ****I accept all of them even the ones that didn't like the ending, I apologize if you did not, but that was my plan from the very beginning. The story evolved from the ruff draft so I can see how some of you thought the ending seemed rushed. ****I too was not particularly happy with it but I'm my worst critic. I thought the concept of this whole other life that Jane lived being a product of her unconscious state of mind to be a fascinating one. The show is riddled with undertones of sexual subtext, it makes one think what would happen if you were injured and unresponsive were would your mind take you, especially when you may have feelings for someone that you are not willing to explore for many reasons. I was asked about the ending why Maura seemed so sad if it was not understood it was because she to harbored feelings for Jane, but never thought they would be reciprocated, which is why she smiles right before she closes the door when Jane says she wants to talk about them. I hadn't had plans on writing a sequel but if the consensus is one of wanting to see what happens to these characters I will. So please write a review or message me if you would like to read a sequel. Thank you for taking this journey with me, it was not easy especially being my first story, but your comments and messages helped push me through and for that I will always be grateful. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and take care till we meet again!  
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